Learning to walk before I run

beanielou

I would keep union fees & life insurance. 

Although I assume there is a genorous death in service payment. 

edinburgher

@beanielou - life insurance non-negotiable, I don't feel that way about my union. They are recommending accepting a pay offer that was c. 6% less than inflation at the time the increase was due. Ineffectual.

*Edit: Oh yes, also looks like no exercise money for me in 2024. Mrs E gets off with it as she has a cheap 1-year deal bundled through a workplace provider that can't be cancelled. I'm going for a walk, no doubt the first of many

killerpeaty

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I have a friend working 10 hours a day 5 days a week for the council (paid for 38 hours over 4 days). She's exhausted and unhappy, it's hard to hear and I can only tell you what I told her...work isn't worth your health. But I know it's hard to leave a bad workplace as well, the fatigue is real. 

CCW007

@edinburgher I feel so bad thinking about cancelling union fees but in England we have just got the deal that was on the table in February. Those on UC will get a lump sum which will mess up the next month's payment and so they will lose out. This is the second year unions have delayed accepting the deal for no actual improvement in what was offered. It's hard to see what we are paying for.

edinburgher

@CCW007 - I have been a union member for 7-8 years. From memory, they got what I would consider to be a "good" outcome once 

Suffolk_lass

In my opinion you don't only join the union because they negotiate the pay deal, although for many it is the primary reason; yes, it lets you vote on the pay deal they negotiate but the delay applies whether you are a member or not. You join the union because they act as your supporter against a bullying employer and provide legal fees to support you if it comes to it. You are also supporting others put in untenable positions where they are blamed for non-delivery of their failing management. They negotiate other things than pay such as flexible working patterns and working from home, the amount of holiday you receive and whether this improves over time. And they have a death benefit that is payable to your nominee without waiting for probate (or whatever it is now called in Scotland) - and up the workers. Your right to strike. This stuff is important, and like running a mutual benefit society.

I agree with @beanielou; stay in the union. You might need them if your boss is the ignorant bully you are describing. He is making you ill. That is moving into constructive dismissal space. You may well need your union to support you (and if your local rep is useless, try the organiser (convenor in some) instead, they should know who can be an effective advocate, beyond your immediate workplace.

I found writing my resignation that included the reasons why and storing it. together with recording a password protected diary of the bullying that represented a contemporaneous account was hugely stress-lifting for me. Make sure you record how these individually minor slights make you feel and the cumulative effect of these. Build the evidence. You don't have to use it. Yet. You will see with crystal clear clarity why you feel so !!!!!! about work and have a sense of rising panic when you think about it on a Sunday or Monday morning.

Keep your life insurance - the one I loathe is income protection. It is stopping you saving to have this as a proper emergency fund. Make sure your future you does not have all the money you squirrel away, some needs to be accessible with the cancellation of that insurance (if that is the one). With the rising sense of panic, are you sure you should be at work? It does sound like work-related anxiety is building. Even consider invoking that policy rather than cancelling it.

I wish I could help

Cheery_Daff

I quite understand mixed feelings about the union. Our union is all over the place at the minute. Been on strike so much over the last couple of years, and nationally feels like they can't negotiate their way out of a paper bag. Lots of colleagues have left. However, locally they are much stronger, and we have achieved local gains in some important ways. And however much they haven't got what they were aiming for nationally, what we did get was better than what we were originally offered 🙄 I keep thinking about how much worse things would be without them.

We've just lost our strike mandate for the next 6 months, so as much as I think striking isn't really helpful in my job, I can't imagine we'll achieve anything without it! 

However, I'll be staying in, and going on strike when it's called (even if I don't like it as a tactic - I clearly can't think of a better one). As @Suffolk_lass says, that individual back up in a rotten situation is important, for me, at least, although I've never had to use it. A family member of mine was forced out of their job unjustly a few years ago and that could have been avoided with union involvement 😕

Feels tricky though, doesn't it, with what feels like no immediate benefit and costs going out every month.

Anyway, wanted to say you've been doing a great job ed, getting your house in order both physically and metaphorically. Big hugs x

edinburgher

@Suffolk_lass - I think it might be beneficial to walk this back a bit. I don't think I'm being bullied. I have a stressful job where I am feeling burned out. The team collectively has an unreasonable workload, most days I can cope. We have inefficient processes and inexperienced "yes people" leading the team who are defensive, aren't open to objectively helpful ideas and who make the work harder with their bad ideas. 

I've been bullied in the workplace and it's bloody awful. Writing a resignation letter might well be a freeing exercise but the diary would be overkill.

I appreciate your perspective re. unions and agree with almost every word you've written. Unfortunately I'm in a position where my principles won't pay my bills and every bill has to be considered. Thankfully the union offer a "deathbed confession" sort of option where they will let you rejoin but won't help you for 4 weeks.

@Cheery_Daff - thank you

We know someone who works in HE and I think they were getting quite bored of strikes!

I have been swinging my scythe. Gone so far:

• Union
• My income protection
• Lottery
• Home decorative
• Soft furnishings
• Glasses
• LISA
• JISA (DD1)
• JISA (DD2)
• Holidays

Still up for grabs but more complicated:

• Income Protection (Mrs E) - needed for a current account switch in December
  
• Pet Insurance - EF will be at c. £700 by December - wonder if we need to go back to praying this isn't needed?
  
• Spotify - think this can be canned. Mrs E likes it for the gym but as I've pointed out to her in a good natured way, she's lucky to have the gym at all next year I'm going to have her check if she can put up with Amazon Music via Prime but this will take a couple of days as their 2FA is hard to update and I can't find an easy way to change my mobile number with them.

I will look for jobs later this afternoon (already done a bit of skiving getting this stuff straight) and will add a few that I don't usually use such as Indeed and LinkedIn. Did 2 hours of overtime as DD2 up with teething pain and withdrew £5 from Prolific.

Suffolk_lass

edinburgher said:

I am apoplectic, work is seriously getting on my wick

Pay slip for next week is available and £££ of overtime has not been approved/paid. The helpline to discuss payroll queries has a faulty system routing calls, so all options lead to you being hung up on.

Also a horrendous meeting re. trying to address a massive backlog of work where the big boss shot down 75% of suggestions in advance, was pleased that we could address perhaps 15% of suggestions even though these all relate to the fact that my boss can't do their job properly and has ****** our productivity and tried to tell me off for contacting our supervising authority about a point of practice. The only reason I did so was because my boss showed a complete lack of interest in my genuinely valid concerns. I was too nice to raise this in a team meeting.

So I have a job where I do 40 hours over 4 days, I get nowhere, solutions that I am more than qualified to suggest are ignored and I'm not even paid for my overtime. Honestly, I feel like chucking it. I won't, however, as I have many many responsibilities. Man I could cry.

£2 cashback on £5 spend at TCB today all - Just Eat voucher for me

This was what made me suggest bullying. It is not always macho and overt. Undermining and eroding are forms of bullying too. You see your boss as inept. Are you sure it isn't deliberate? The fact his boss does not listen is worse as it removes the opportunity to raise legitimate concerns within the organisation, so you raise them outside, with a supervising authority and they try to criticise you for it

edinburgher

Ah, I see where you're coming from.

I am not sure why my boss would be deliberately inept?

My organisation is very bad for behind covering and closing ranks. I have raised concerns with a supervising authority as a last resort, essentially trying to do the work of my boss for them so that they concede the point and make the change required to fix one of the things that doesn't work. I felt the need to do so because my boss is duff. I was too polite to say this in a group meeting and don't get on with big boss well enough to say these things in confidence (partly because I had considerered applying for the role myself and don't want to look like a sore loser (not that I lost, I withdrew)). It was a relatively minor point of practice but one that could unlock good time savings for the staff I manage.

So I can see why big boss felt the need to go on the defensive on either their behalf, or on behalf of my boss. I think what made me feel so bad on the daqy you've quoted was the fact that I felt the need to take this course of action in the first place. I'm trying to unpack whether it was a rational course of action, me trying to get my own way or both. It also upsets me that I should have to analyse my actions to this degree at work. Work should be easy (the conducting of work if not the work itself)!