Advice for a Friend re Ex Partner and Child's Father, what Now????

TBagpuss

OK.

She's already got the tenancy in her name and has changed the locks, so he can't access her home. Steps she should be taking:-

• Apply via CMS. If he doesn't pay the appropriate amounts in full and on time then apply to have the CMS collect on her behalf. It's more expensive but makes it more likely that she will get money on a fairly regular basis. 

• Contact - contact is all about what is best for the child / children. This is a violent and unpredictable person, who she knows drinks to excess and drives illegally. It's completely reasonable to take steps to protect her child from the risks he poses. Offer him contact at a contact centre and let him apply to court if he doesn't like that. If there is a family member (hers or his) whom she trusts, she could offer contact supervised by that person, at their home, but she would need to feel confident that they would protect the child, o probably sensible to start with a contact centre. https://naccc.org.uk/find-a-centre/

• Report his behavior to the police - make a statement about the historic violence and about the current harassment (his showing up at her home, verbal abuse etc.) log each and every new incident when it happens ad get a crime reference number. Talk to the police abut what services may be available to help - in my areas, the police sponsor a 'bobbyvan' - a trusted workman who can do things like installing extra security, advise about security or repair damage he has caused, at cost price, for instance, and the police will also be able to refer her on to local domestic abuse support services

• IF the harassment doesn't stop, see a solicitor and get a warning letter sent to him, followed by an injunction (legal ad is likely to be available for this) Skip the warning if she feels at immediate risk.

• She'd be sensible to update all her social media settings to ensure that they are private and then unfriend / block him. Decide on a method he can use to contact her about the child (I'd recommend setting up a dedicated e-mail address she doesn't use for anything else, then she can chose how often she logs on and reads his messages, she doesn't have to install it and allow notifications, so she can control how quickly she responds)  Then give him written notice of how he can communicate and explicitly state that anything else will be seen as harassment. If he then contacts her via other methods, log it with the police as harassment and show them the original letter / email telling him how to contact her and stating that anything else will be harassment. (If / when he starts having contact she may need to add an emergency phone number - in which case getting a cheap, PAYG phone for that purpose may makes sense, as she can keep it turned off except during contact, so he can reach her in an emergency but can't hassle her the rest of the time)

• If dad is on the birth certificate and she is looking to return to work so child would be at nursery, she needs to think about the risk - strictly speaking, if he has PR, the nursery has no authority to prevent him collecting the child from nursery (although in practice they would probably refuse unless he was on their contact list) but she might want to look at applying for an order to state the child lives with her and a Prohibited Steps order preventing him from removing child from the care of any third party she places child with, such as a nursery, school or babysitter, without her consent of a court order, which gives the nursery et c the right to refuse t allow him to take the child. This shouldn't be necessary unless he has made threats or there is a real reason to fear he would take the child, but it is an option of that is the situation.

• Since he doesn't keep to contact arrangements, a contact centre or supervised contact are the ways forward - it's quite common for abusive individuals to try to use contact as another method of control, so if/when contact stops being at a contact centre, she may want to put in place arrangements meaning she doesn't do handovers, that the child is collected / dropped off at school, or via a third party, so he doesn't get to use handovers as a way to see her. 

• Regarding the moped, it's up to her if she reports that - it's not really relevant to the situation with her and the child, if / when he starts to have unsupervised contact she may at that time wat to ask for conditions on the contact that he doesn't drive the child anywhere, since she knows that he is comfortable driving without appropriate licence / insurance.