The value of things

Typhoon1

Not sure whether I've been put down here?

I thought the post was about the perceived value of things, therefore if the £7 pudding isn't seen as acceptable VFM what's the problem of choosing something that appears to be closer? I've already indicated that it doesn't bother me what everyone else has, so I'm not forcing my thought on others.

If your washing machine broke would you shop around for another or would you just buy the first one you saw in the first shop you went in? or..... would you try to fix it? I for one would try to fix it but I wouldn't be turning in my grave if I couldn't and had to shop around for a new one.

Savvy_Sue

What I really struggle to spend money on is clothes. Apart from underwear and everyday winter trousers, pretty much everything I wear has come from a charity shop, and same for DH. 

It means I have a HUGE choice of things to wear, to the extent I sometimes find a garment I've completely forgotten about.

My siblings laugh at my inability to pass a charity shop.

Now, one of my sons is getting married next year. Part of me would LOVE to buy a new outfit: dress, jacket, shoes, handbag, the works. But another part of me is already thinking "HOW much????" And I've already bought a very nice designer skirt and top this year, not yet had an occasion to wear it, for £4 ...

jennystarpepper

My husband would have moved the car, an extra walk before food and to save money, win ..win.

If you paid on the last 2 occasions, no I don't think you are tight.  

£7.00 for a pudding, for me it is quality, if it is worth it I would pay it, if someone is going to put a Cape gooseberry next to a pudding to 'fancy it up' and it is a factory made pudding I would not have it, I would apply the same reasoning who ever was paying. 

People who are careful are called tight by others ..... because they sometimes wish they had saved more and spent less on £7.00 puddings, lol. 

Madrick

Isn't this the "Money Saving Expert" forums area 😂

I am 100% with the OP, not a great fan of puddings, but often apply the same rationale to starters. If it's a starter that I really want then fair enough, but won't just have a £7-£8 starter, just for the sake of it, regardless of who is paying. 

KxMx

Money Saving doesn't mean you should live off tesco value baked beans.
It's about finding the best deals for Heinz if that's what you prefer

Arthurian

I used to park in town centre pay and display car parks until my son exclaimed "Why don't you park in the free, edge of town, car park?  It's free exercise!"  "Free exercise" is now how I persuade myself to walk more, do more household tasks, and so on.  No longer just a chore - it's free exercise, and aren't I lucky to be able to benefit!

Nebulous2

I remember my sociology lecturer telling me:- "The chief characteristic of the middle class is the principle of deferred gratification." They save for a house as it will be better in the long run than renting. They prioritise their children's education at a cost now, for a better future. He said that principle didn't apply to the upper classes or the working class. 

After a lifetime of deferring gratification you can't just turn it on again like a tap. I find myself, early retired, with more money than I have ever had, having taken a part-time job to help feed me into retirement. I'm finding that move to decumulation from accumulation quite difficult. I'm gradually forcing myself to break out however.

We had a recent caravan holiday in Edinburgh, cycled everywhere, walked the dogs, bought very little, then one day we took our vehicle into the city centre, walked the dogs around Princes Street Gardens, took a lot of photos (a decent camera was a retirement luxury) and we paid something like £16.50 for 3 hours parking. It was difficult to do, but was something we could afford without noticing. 

As a cyclist I've also ordered an expensive new bike, which will take several months to come, but is a needless luxury. 

For the OP it sounds as though there is something else going on other than value / money. The way you are discussing other people talking about you it sounds as though you have woven this 'tight' image into your public persona and there is a need to keep it up and maintain this facade. It isn't a true reflection though 'tight' people don't buy other people meals twice in a row. 

The other thing about refusing the pudding is that it can be seen as throwing the person who is paying for it's hospitality back in their face. I was like that, willing to buy things for others but extremely reluctant to 'take' something in return. "Oh you shouldn't have done." When I helped you I wasn't looking for that." "You didn't need to buy that for me." 

I sometimes found a slightly hurt look from people difficult, but couldn't stop myself. I then found an old prayer in a book somewhere, that said something like:- "Lord grant me the ability to receive as graciously as I give."  I realised that what I was doing was very ungracious and resolved to try and change. A "Thank you" or "Thanks very much, I really appreciate it." goes a long way and the pleasure people derive from their gift being appreciated has made it worth while. 

A lengthy post, but what I'm trying to say is this stuff is complicated. We take a lifetime to develop and learn our habits, and they will take a long time to change even if we commit to trying to change them. 

Doc_N

With the OP entirely!  If it doesn't represent good value, don't buy it, and that applies to most areas of life.

Wine in restaurants at three times supermarket prices for the same wine - no thanks!  A glass of nice cold water does the job fine, and the wine can be enjoyed at home at a third of the price.

Same applied to eating out with the children many years back, with overpriced soft drinks.  Parking too, if there was a sensible alternative a few minutes walk away.

None of these things were life changing.  But what WAS life changing was the size of the gifts made to each child over recent years which have enabled them to buy their houses AND clear their mortgages.  Wouldn't have been possible without the earlier lifestyle decisions, solved any Inheritance Tax problems, and benefits our grandchildren too.

Missing out on a few things such as wine and car parks is nothing, compared with the pleasure of giving your children and grandchildren a fantastic start in married life!

DiamondLil

I'm another who, mostly subconsciously, looks for value. Probably my most hated of pet hates is spending money on bin liners..... I can't get my head around spending hard-earned cash on something that's going directly into the bin.

smutput

I also like getting value for money and would happily forgo parking fees and pudding for the same reasons if I were just out with my other half. In company I would worry about a) keeping people waiting while I find free parking b) making other people uncomfortable and spoiling their enjoyment by my value judgements.  I don't like to make an occasion all about me so would just try and graciously get on with it.