Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my partner to put extra towards mortgage repayments?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I have just bought our first home together and I contributed an extra £5,000 to the deposit so we could get the home we wanted. Should I ask my partner to contribute £5,000 to something else related to our home, such as mortgage repayments, or is that just being petty considering we've just bought a house together?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

  If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

  Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

Slithery

You should have discussed this before purchasing the property, not afterwards.

hannerrbabes

If you have to ask this question, you shouldn't have bought a house together. 

magnusgallie

Seems a bit mercenary. I pay the whole mortgage and then my partner puts her salary into savings. We saved what we could together to put a deposit down on the house. I saved more, but it wasn’t a business transaction. 

SteveLaming

Not a real relationship if your asking questions like this. Bound to fail in the long run. Sorry

Bigfra46

This really depends on your partner's salary. Does he have 5 grand to spare? Then yes. If not then no.

DontBringBertie

I did the same thing when we bought our house as I was earning more than my partner at the time and had therefore saved more.

I definitely didn’t ask or expect for the £5k be ‘paid back’...

Also - surely if he/she couldn’t afford £5k more at the time of deposit, why would she be able to afford to “contribute £5,000 to something else related to our home”?

soosoosmum

I expect this is a concern because you've taken the next step in your relationship, buying a house, and it's scared you. It's not about the money, it's about the future together. Different couples deal with finances differently. Some keep their salaries in different accounts and pay for everything jointly, percentages based either on salary or as agreed. Some have separate accounts and put sums into a joint account for bills and others just put the money in a joint account. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Over the years the extra amount will change as one then the other put more in and should be forgotten. 

Windofchange

Surely a deed of trust would have sorted this out from the outset if it was an issue? You could have set up the purchase so that upon selling you are due an extra 5k back (or whatever). I believe that you can get this sorted out now, so you could get a solicitor to draw up a new contract between the two of you. However, this I guess could open a can of worms about why are you asking me to do this, are you thinking of us splitting up etc. Having said that, an ex of mine's father presented me with a contract on day one of me moving into her flat and made me sign to state that I had no interest in the property. Was a bit weird, but I thought whatever. 

Geigermass

My partner and I are a family, we work our bills and mortgage out of both wages which go into a joint bank account then whatever we have left to spend every month we share. Seems fairer and easier to save up for holidays, items we want for house etc..

Skintsaver

I would have gotten a declaration of trust, I think it's important to discuss how things would be split, on separation. But by the sounds of it it's only 5k so if you 2 do separate you'd be down to loose 2.5k which isn't much at all. And further down the line your partner may naturally contribute more to the house not just in mortage payments. So I wouldn't ask now