Trying to get back to living my best life

Betharooni Posts: 393
First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
edited 2 September 2021 at 8:28PM in Debt free diaries
After paying off my car finance in the middle of last year to become debt-free I have spent just over a year trying to save hard towards a house deposit. However, living in the south-east, in a town that is one of the best-connected to London, prices are jumping up so much that I can’t even afford a one bed flat in my local area, let alone anything beyond that. Having scrimped and saved as much as I can during this time, my house savings are around £10K and my current salary would only net me a mortgage of not much over £100K so I think it’s safe to say my house owning aspirations need to be put on hold for the foreseeable future. 

With this in mind and with the year edging towards autumn and the new school year, I’ve been looking at my finances and what I really want out of my life. The biggest conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m not really living much of a life at the moment. 

So, what is life like at the moment? I’m 34, single and I live with my Mum and my eldest brother (of 3 older brothers). My workplace is based up in London but, starting later this month, I will only have to go into the office every other week and can work from home the rest of the time. I suffer with chronic migraines which have been getting worse over the last couple of years and have more recently been diagnosed with cervical spondylosis (a type of osteoarthritis in my back and shoulders), both of which mean I can be in near constant pain. My pain levels have meant that over the years I have flaked out of meeting up or going out with friends which now means I rarely get invited out by anyone other than family. Pain-related apathy has meant that my house is an absolute state, my weight is out of control and over the last couple of months my spending has gone crazy. 

I’m hoping that keeping a new diary will encourage me to be more productive and to keep me focused on frugality rather than spending for the sake of it.


  • Hi

    My initial plan of action is as follows:

    • I need to refocus on losing some weight
      • Restart at Slimming World on Saturday
      • Be more active - start going out for a decent walk every couple of days, even when I am feeling rough or the weather is miserable
    • Restart doing The Organised Mum Method (TOMM) to get house more organised and cleaner
    • Start using cash envelopes for spending rather than paying everything with my debit card
    • Limit spending to necessities and pre-planned purchases, in an effort to get spending under control

    I’m going to try to post something everyday, so let’s see what I can achieve tomorrow.

    B x
  • good luck on your journey 
  • I feel for you - i've suffered from migraines since i was 14, and i'm almost 40 now. And also been very prone to saying No to friends because of that and other issues i've had.

    Your action plan is sound, go for it.

    Walks cost nothing....well, buy a waterproof mac and some trousers of Amazon first (they can be found cheap) and then the weather is no barrier for you!!

    The enveloped money is a great idea - you could also setup an account with Monzo (or another challenger bank) and transfer money in so you can debit card pay things to a budget.

    I like the words in your post - they are positive..."So let’s see what I can achieve tomorrow." should be a mantra for everyone in life.

    Good luck x

  • Hi,

    Thanks efes_shareholder and Tarn2021 for your lovely comments.

    Today was a quiet-ish day. My Mum and I double-teamed the ironing so that’s now clear for a day or two 😂🤦‍♀️ I’m just about to go and sort out some overnight oats and a SW journal ready to start Slimming World in earnest tomorrow. I’m also hoping to declutter a handful of items that need to be delivered to others so hopefully that might help clear a bit more space.

    Other than SW and delivering the decluttered items, I’m hoping to meal plan, go out for a walk in my local green space (and hopefully do some foraging in their community orchard) and sort out photos, descriptions and listing on eb@y and/or F@ceb00k for some items I want to get rid of. Hopefully as well as these things I’ll get a decent amount of time to chill out.

    B x
  • Hi

    Today felt like a good day in the main. I went to Slimming World and had lost 3lb since I’d last weighed in a couple of weeks ago. I managed to get Slimmer of the Week and I won the raffle so came home loaded down with lots of healthy stuff like pasta and passata 🥳🥳 was over the moon, it’s the first time in about 5 years of doing SW on and off that I’ve got Slimmer of the Week. With focusing properly on SW from today, hopefully I can have another good result next week.

    I delivered off the few items we wanted to clear out of the house and had to go shopping for a few items for the week. Sadly I didn’t go out for the walk or sort out anything towards listing items to sell so I’ll just carry those couple of things over to tomorrow. I’m hoping to do some tidying in my room and some cleaning in the kitchen. I think those four things will be more than enough to keep me occupied.

    Till tomorrow,

    B x
  • Great result with SW! Looking forward to following your journey! Following  :)
  • AntoMac
    AntoMac Posts: 1,866
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    Well done on SW. That’s a real positive start.
    Going back to not meeting up with people and not being invited out. Might it be worth reaching out to one or two of those people individually? Did they know why you previously flaked out of meeting up?  Nothing to lose giving it a try.
    Not having to commute to the office will be a big time saving as well as a money saving so hopefully you can gain a lot of benefit from that.
    One thing about my commute (which no longer happens) is that it required a lot of steps carrying a fairly heavy laptop bag, Working from home has inadvertently led to quite a drop in exercise. I know I’m not the only one who put a few pounds on in lockdown. You’re not alone there.
    it’s great that you’ve committed to living your best life and set yourself some targets.
    Will watch your diary with interest.
    27/5/17 Mort 64705 BTs 1904031/12/17 Mort 59815 BT 1673007/04/20 Mort 49208 BT 1572128/07/20 Mort 47387 BT 1263414/11/20 Mort 45905 BT 10134 20/05/21 Mort 42335 BT 686811/08/22 Mort 32050 BT 2915Sealed Pot Challenge 16 Number 5
  • Hi

    Thanks improving47 and AntoMac for your comments. @AntoMac my friends know that my migraines have been to blame for not attending meet-ups in the past but your suggestion to reach out individually is something I’d been thinking of myself, I will see what I can do.

    Yesterday and today I’ve been feeling pretty rough so not done anything much. Hoping I’m feeling a bit better tomorrow as I’m driving my brother down to Hastings as he’s visiting a friend for a couple of days. Have made overnight oats with frozen berries for breakfast and, rather than munching on a bag of sweets on the way down, I’m going to prep some strawberries, raspberries and blackberries to snack on so I can remain on plan.

    Other than going to Hastings and back, I’m hoping to have a go at the kitchen as part of TOMM and need to get the rubbish and recycling round the house ready to be collected on Wednesday morning. Also hoping I can have a walk somewhere, even just round the block a couple of times.

    B x
  • Hi

    Sorry for lack of posts for a few days, head been quite bad and not really had much to say.

    Trips to and from Hastings on Tuesday and Thursday were fairly uneventful and brother had a nice time with his friend so that was good. We had a good go at clearing the kitchen and are almost there, should hopefully get it finished tomorrow. 

    Today was good from a money saving perspective, I submitted request to “sell” some annual leave at work as my week off was covered by a medical certificate and our holiday year ends only a couple of weeks after I go back. Will get around £300 for that hopefully. Also requested an eye care voucher so work will pay my eye test fee. Lastly, work are offering a voucher for free flu jab via Boots (as we would usually be offered it in the office but we are still working from home) so I’ve requested that as well.

    Tomorrow will be SW first thing, then I’m hoping to finish clearing the kitchen and make a start on blitzing the bathroom. Also would like to do the little bit of ironing we have, just to get it out the way. Anything I can’t do tomorrow can just be carried forward to the following day.

    B x
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 7,507
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Have you thought of buying not in your area as a BTL so that you can retire to it when needed. Just a throw away thought.
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