Absolute Mess

warby68

It may be a case of taking the job you don't fancy and making that extra £1k per month. It wouldn't be forever and would rapidly turn your circumstances around. I understand why you don't want to but there are no easy fixes for the housing problem other than some more money.

Perhaps if your parents could see you had a plan and a timescale then the relationship would improve.

The food bill should be a good win too.

It probably all feels too much right now but if you can get the ball rolling on the bankruptcy, the sooner you do, the sooner you are out the other side. Its difficult to see any other option for your wife with over £50k of debt and no income/assets. Once you tackle one aspect and 'feel' the progress, the others should be a bit easier.

Sea_Shell

It's good to recognise how (why) you've ended up where you are, but to move forward you need to draw a line under it and come to terms with that you are where you are. 

You can't change the past...only the future.

comeandgo

Is there any of your wife’s friends or relatives who could have her and the twins to stay for a few days to give your parents a rest?  I know you will miss them and probably don’t want to separate but it would give a bit of breathing space.

monetxchange

Sorry to hear you’re in such an awful situation, but something has got to give here. This isn’t going to resolve itself by magic. You’ve had some good advice on here and the only option is to take some of it or fall into even deeper debt. Can’t reduce groceries spend, won’t take more hours at work, wife can’t work because of issues but you seem reluctant to look into further benefits, no to bankruptcy as it might effect rental but without it you have no way to save up for a rental… what’s your other option? 

Sorry to be direct but we all need a kick to get us into action sometimes. Many of us have been where you are and you’re not going to get the “oh poor you, life’s hard isn’t it” on here, nor would that help you. Your situation is crap and really really hard, but you could do with having a sit down as a couple, having a hard look at your limited options and making a plan. You can sort this, but nobody else can take that step for you.

zcrat41

Sorry to hear of your situation. It must be really hard living with family. 

Your skills however are like gold dust at the moment. There's adverts all over the radio with Golden Hellos for truck drivers. I would be looking to see what else is out there. On a 60 hr week and a gross wage of around £35k you're on an hourly rate of 11.80 ish. A very quick google has found £17per hr as common rising To £19 for Sunday work. I'd be working those weekends and nights. Better to get out of debt and your parents house in my opinion. 

What help is your partner getting for depression? Medication? Counselling? I'd argue she needs to do something. A 3 hr waitressing shift on a Thursday night while you out the kids to bed night feel suorisingly like bliss to her. For her own Health as much as the money. 

Jami74

If your parents evicted you, would the council have to put you in temporary accommodation? If they did it might be worse than where you are already staying. It might be a room with a bed, a sink, a kettle, a microwave and a shared bathroom. That's what it was like a number of years ago when we went down that route with a newborn. 

aimeemum

I agree on the wages front. my husband is a bus driver and they've just received a pay rise up to £12/hr  and his co-workers are leaving in droves to go and do their Class 1s as they can earn potentially double. Make enquiries - it definitely wont do any harm! 

We moved in with my MIL a few years ago when my hubby and I relocated - we were there for 5 months and it genuinely felt like an eternity. We too were guilty of splurging on take-aways and other food treats as it was literally the only pleasure we had - I was working full time and hubby was studying full time. We commuted nearly 100 miles each way (had gotten a job close to his uni, but MIL lived further away - temporary measure but so draining!)

Get that bankruptcy declared ASAP - speak to the charities and CAB and get your finances under control, then see if you can find a private landlord willing to take you on. Try putting an ad on gumtree or FB marketplace maybe? In your circumstances you can't be fussy and remember that it's only a short term thing. 

If your wife were to get a p/t job you would probably be able to claim childcare help through Universal credit, and look up 2yo funding and see if you're eligible for 15 hours free for them too. If she's getting help with her health then getting out of the house for a few hours and getting a mental and physical break may actually help, and she'd be helping financially too! Not to mention the break for your parents. 

Good luck 

rigare11a

Jami74 said:

If your parents evicted you, would the council have to put you in temporary accommodation? If they did it might be worse than where you are already staying. It might be a room with a bed, a sink, a kettle, a microwave and a shared bathroom. That's what it was like a number of years ago when we went down that route with a newborn. 

I would second this my sister did a similar thing, your parents are not obligated to house you. You can say you are being kicked out it would up your 'score' and you would be more likely to get housing. They even provided my sister with temporary accommodation (which she didn't use because she stayed with parents until permanent housing was secured) but you have to play the system a little bit it sounds.
My sister is now buying that council flat at a reduced price.

Harlequinn87

rigare11a said:

Jami74 said:

If your parents evicted you, would the council have to put you in temporary accommodation? If they did it might be worse than where you are already staying. It might be a room with a bed, a sink, a kettle, a microwave and a shared bathroom. That's what it was like a number of years ago when we went down that route with a newborn. 

I would second this my sister did a similar thing, your parents are not obligated to house you. You can say you are being kicked out it would up your 'score' and you would be more likely to get housing. They even provided my sister with temporary accommodation (which she didn't use because she stayed with parents until permanent housing was secured) but you have to play the system a little bit it sounds.
My sister is now buying that council flat at a reduced price.

My sister done exactly this with her two kids (she had arrears just like you from a private rented flat and moved in with my mum). My mum wrote to the local council to say she was kicking them out by a certain date (laid it on thick with the arguing and space issues etc but basically had to say they did not get along with eachother and was not going to put up with it anymore) and then my sister went to council on that day with bags packed and they were forced to help.

Wasn't the most ideal situation for a few weeks as she had to stay in a self catering hotel room 10 miles away from kids school but they did give her a 2 bedroom flat in the area she wanted after 3 weeks.

It's the only way unfortunately that you need to play the system this way as they refused to help my sister unless she was made homeless by my mum.

This was 2 years back now and she's even had help from council to move into a 3 bedroom house this year.

Dave_7

Thank you for all your replys
been super busy with work and at home this past week.
We managed to fill homeless forms online
which someone rang me from
the council asking questions going through my circumstances and income etc. What I took from the call was we will be getting priority points ,  hopefully we will manage to get a house sooner rather than later.