Executor not providing any updates at all.

Tenet93

It has been over a month since my Father  has died and it’s been a nightmare. He appointed his sister as the executor of the will whom is a complete stranger to myself and they are in charge of my fathers estate. When I say stranger, I mean I do not actually know them and have no relationship with them and to have them control the estate is a lot of anxiety and stress during an already stressful time since losing my Father. 

We originally received very nasty communication from the executor after my Father died which has made it awkward In terms of communication but other than that there has been no update from them in terms of the will, inheritance etc. 

I am my Dads only son and currently live in the property with my Mother. The house was in my Fathers name on the deeds and the property is completely paid for. (mum and dad were not married) so she is classed as common law wife and I am his next of kin.

Unfortunately the executor will not be looking in our best interest despite us named beneficiaries in the will and I know it’s only been a month, but due to the hateful communication given to us, I’m concerned with this road ahead.

Therefore I would like to ask some questions below and this is a new process for myself and I would like to make sure I don’t act on anything or get too hesitant when not enough time has passed.

1) executor has ignored my request for a copy of the will. I can confirm I am a beneficiary to the will a long with my Mother. Would you suggest instructing my own solicitor to obtain the copy? 

2) My Father made the will shortly before he died and in regards to his property, my mother has a life interest in the property and it’s in a trust that upon her death the house will fall to me. The executor has made no update thus far regarding any application of probate.

3) In regards to estate accounts, I have no idea what is in my fathers accounts. Would it be too early to request anything to see at this stage?

Effectively because I am completely not kept up to date, I feel almost in Limbo and I don’t want to go instructing my own solicitors and paying money if it’s still early days as of yet.

For anyone who has been through similar process before, I’d very much appreciate that if an executor is not updating you at all or even providing a copy of the will - what stage and when would you begin to act 

Robin9

As you have said "it's early days" - what do you think should have happened ?  You already have a copy of the will - why do you want a second copy ?

Give the executor time - you don't know what their own circumstances are. It's far to early to start the probate process.

What have you done ? Changed name on utilities, house insurances, collected together his papers - life insurances, investments, bank accounts ? I presume you and you mum arranged the funeral - have you presented the Funeral Director's bill to the bank for payments ?

Be patient. Take time to grieve for your loss.  Be with your mum as she adjusts

Langtang

Tenet93 said:

It has been over a month since my Father  has died

Firstly, sorry for your loss, it's a very difficult time for you & your mum. It will take a while to adjust.

Tenet93 said:

.....it’s been a nightmare.,,,

...We originally received very nasty communication from the executor... 

...Unfortunately the executor will not be looking in our best interest....

2) My Father made the will shortly before he died....

Someone will be along soon who knows more about these matters, but I'm sure they will ask for a little more info regarding the above. Those are quite vague statements, and it may be that you are worrying over nothing, or at least nothing that can't be fixed easily. Is your dad's sister a beneficiary of the will?

Tenet93 said:

I am my Dads only son and currently live in the property with my Mother. The house was in my Fathers name on the deeds and the property is completely paid for. (mum and dad were not married) so she is classed as common law wife and I am his next of kin.

Again, probably a little more information would be good - how long together, are they both your biological parents etc.

Tenet93 said:

2) My Father made the will shortly before he died and in regards to his property, my mother has a life interest in the property and it’s in a trust that upon her death the house will fall to me. The executor has made no update thus far regarding any application of probate.

How was the will made? Through a solicitor, who will have a copy of the will? Through a will writing company? Maybe he did the will himself?

Robin9 said:

Be patient. Take time to grieve for your loss.  Be with your mum as she adjusts

Wise words. We lost both of my in-laws a year ago last week and are just in the end stages of finalizing the estate(s). Over the coming months, you will have enough to do without worrying about what would seem straight-forward.

Langtang

Robin9 said:

 You already have a copy of the will - why do you want a second copy ?

I didn't notice where the OP said he already had a copy of the will, unless i missed it.

poppystar

Langtang said:

Robin9 said:

 You already have a copy of the will - why do you want a second copy ?

I didn't notice where the OP said he already had a copy of the will, unless i missed it.

I think @Robin9 may have assumed this as the OP knows when it was made and that it includes a life interest for the mother and going to him on mother’s death and who the executor is.

Perhaps it would help with advice if OP could explain what he hopes to get from a copy of the Will at this stage that he doesn’t already know - what is it that concerns him?

Caz3121

OPs previous thread (never returned to answer the questions)
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6289149/mum-sole-beneficiary-to-dads-will-but-we-are-having-problems-with-executor#latest

RAS

Probably doesn't know how to find previous thread. Hopefully he'll answer the questions on that thread.

OP, I appreciate that the loss of control is hard to live with but there is nothing you can do about now.

And it's not unreasonable to give the executor at least 6 months to start sorting things out. If she's not already done so, your mum could drop the executor a line asking if there is anything the executor needs from herself to expedite probate? Then step back.

Thrugelmir

Tenet93 said:

He appointed his sister as the executor of the will whom is a complete stranger to myself 

Unfortunately the executor will not be looking in our best interest despite us named beneficiaries in the will 

What leads you to believe the executor won't?  Seems as if you don't even know them. 

bouicca21

It would be useful to know just what was nasty about the communication - OP may be over-reacting to something perfectly straightforward because he doesn’t understand the process and his emotions are heightened by grief.

A month is not long for sorting out an estate.  

Tenet93

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the responses, I had previously made a thread but I was unable to find it so thank you to those who had provided link to this.

In regards to my Fathers will, he made this with a solicitor. I know this because last year two solicitors came to the house and I was sat there when he made the will. But since he has passed, the original copy is with his sister and it would be something I would like to obtain simply because if me and my Mother are named beneficiaries, I would like to see this to truly understand what my Father has done (he did explain at the time) so I have an somewhat understanding.

Now in regards to the hateful communication from the executor. Let me first start by saying that by blood the executor is meant to be my Aunt but as I say I have no idea really who this person is and could count on one hand how many times I met them in my life. They came back into my Fathers life the last year of his life and that is when he decided to make her executor. I presume having her back in his life and not wanting to burden me and my Mother with all the paperwork was his reasoning to choose her as executor and my Mum suffers health conditions so she would not be in position to do this.

In regards to the hateful communication, as some of you may to register a death and obtain a death certificate is all online these days at the moment because of Covid-19. It took me a week to register his death and I was awaiting death certificates, but I had asked the executor to pay for the funeral as my Father had put money aside that he told me. Therefore I said we need to wait for the certificates so we can go to the bank and pay the deposit for the funeral. However; the executor demanded I pay the deposit which I refused to do so. Not because I do not want to obviously bury my Father, but because why would I hand over all that money to someone I do not know or enter a contract with the funeral director when I have no access to my Fathers estate like she does? To me it did not make any sense and it still doesn’t. The executor should take on the bill, pay it from his estate as there is money there.

The executor accused us of leaving him to rot in the mortuary (it took a week to register his death and he was in the mortuary for 14 days) and then said that we both should choke on our holy water (because we are religious) and to both rot in hell. Now I’ve just lost my Father and my Mother (I can confirm both biological parents) was deeply upset by this and does not have much income as I am now effectively the breadwinner and to be demanded to pay for a funeral when I have a house to run and when the executor has access to his accounts is downright disgusting. The executor even went behind our back and chose a low budget option funeral and didn’t even inform us and the Funeral directors even sympathised with us. You may have different opinions, but I strongly believe if my Father had money there which he stated he did, her to expect me to foot the bill and not use his money he put aside is alarm bells. 

It’s very hard to explain this properly unless you’re in my shoes type of thing. To sum it up, the executor has not been in communication with us at all since the funeral and as I say I know this is a long process and property is involved, but the nastiness we had dealt with has put me just very concerned. If I was dealing with someone who I knew or was nice, I wouldn’t be on here but sadly as I say I feel stuck in Limbo as the executor has been cruel since my Father died (not even a sorry for your loss) and we even had to ignore each other at the funeral, that’s how bad the situation has become. How can I effectively speak to someone who wished death upon me and my Mother? I told my Mother as she has health conditions to stay away from her and I’ll just have to bottle it up and get on with it. Of course I don’t want to, but if it’s got to be done to get through this, then I’ll do it. 

As of now I’ve put all bills in my name and there is not much more I can do at this stage. I’ve never gone through this before, so I appreciate feedback or advice what to do at this moment. As I say, the reason why Im so concerned only a month in is because the communication I’ve had is nasty which makes me believe why the executor would want to even undertake this if she is acting like this and that as I believe; me and my Mother are beneficiaries. Personally, it’s just very concerning to me and has left me on edge in a vulnerable time that she may be up to something so I appreciate advice. 

 

xylophone

How has the original will ended up in your aunt's possession?

Did your father request the solicitor to send it to her or did she collect it from the solicitor when your father died?

Where is your father's copy of the will? it would be usual for the solicitor to have provided him with one if the original was to be held by the solicitor.

As executor of the will, I would have expected your aunt to arrange for the funeral director's bill to be presented to your late father's bank so that it could be paid.

You appear to be quite sure that your father left your mother a life interest in possession of his property with you as the remainderman.

This is an Immediate Post Death Interest in Possession Trust.

It would be usual for there to be at least two Trustees - is your aunt one and you/your mother/ the solicitor the other?

Properly speaking the house should be transferred into the names of the Trustees.

There are certain tax implications and the situation is complicated by the fact that your parents were unmarried.

It would seem that your father's estate included assets other than the property, certainly cash from what you have indicated and possibly other items as well?

It does take time to administer an estate, often many months.

That said, in your mother's situation, it is unreasonable for her to be left in the situation of knowing next to nothing about the effect of your father's will on her financial affairs.

Perhaps your best course of action is to give your aunt another few weeks to update your mother - if no information materialises, she might instruct her own solicitor to write to your aunt to request information.