I'm struggling...

Mellee79

I am 42, single parent of 2 children. I work 34.5 hours per week as a nurse. I have a shared ownership property so I do have a mortgage and also have to pay rent. I commute to and from work approx 90 mile round trip 3-4x per week so I do have a car. I have a personal loan (2  years left to pay on that). I have a credit card (interest free and I pay the bill off monthly- approx £400-£600 a month). My dad passed in 2018 and my mum was his full time carer. She is 63 and hasnt worked for approx 6 years so I pay her £400 per month to care for my children while I work. I was in receipt of child tax credit bit no longer receive this as I earn more since increasing my hours to pay my mum. I am over £2,000 overdrawn. I can no longer afford to do anything socially as I have to use all incoming to try to cover all outgoings (outgoings exceed income every month). I am stuck in a rut, trying to avoid getting yet another loan to pay a loan and overdraft. I cant live like this. I'm so miserable and stressed and I dont know what to do. I need hel. Please.

BlueJ94

Firstly can you post a SOA so we can all help better?

Secondly, well done for speaking on the group and acknowledging you need some help! We're a friendly bunch here so you're surely going to get some good sound advice!

MrFrugalFever

Hi Mellee,

firstly, congratulations on taking the first step towards identifying your problem and acknowledging that you need to find a solution, that is always hardest.

this forum and the information contained herein has sure helped me along the way.

as suggested above, please post a statement of affairs (income and expenditure details) so we can try to help. Obviously keep things anonymous.

A few quick wins to consider though;

1) Are you able to pick up any additional overtime?
2) Does you employer operate closer to home and could you transfer, cutting fuel costs and wear & tear on car
3) Does your mum know about your situation? If not, discussing it isn’t a weakness but rather a strength to be able to face it head on. Could she forgo some payments for a short term basis to enable you to over-pay £400 per month to highest interest bearing debt?

RAS

Hi another one to suggest that an SOA is a good idea.

SOA Calculator (lemonfool.co.uk)

One thing that did strike me is that you appear to be over-paying your 0% card and have a £2K overdraft? The interest rate on your OD is likely to be around 30-40%, so you'll never clear it using that tactic. If you pay the minimum +£5 on the card and put the rest to reduce your overdraft, you'll have more effect.

I'd suggest you consider getting another bank account, putting your salary in that, transfer the DDs and SOs and keep it in the black. Then pay down the overdraft but don't use the old account until it's in the clear.

TheAble

RAS said:

Hi another one to suggest that an SOA is a good idea.

SOA Calculator (lemonfool.co.uk)

One thing that did strike me is that you appear to be over-paying your 0% card and have a £2K overdraft? The interest rate on your OD is likely to be around 30-40%, so you'll never clear it using that tactic. If you pay the minimum +£5 on the card and put the rest to reduce your overdraft, you'll have more effect.

Very good point.

How about the children's father, does he make any contribution? What ages are they - any free government childcare they're eligible for?

kazwookie

Can you move your work closer to home, currently you must be doing 2 to 3 hours a day in the car just traveling to and from work, plus the cost of petrol / wear and tear on the car, servicing etc.

What about all the other stuff you haven't mentioned, ie food, gas, elec, mobile phones, etc are you on the best deals for you?

Purplelady65

A few quick wins to consider though;

1) Are you able to pick up any additional overtime?
2) Does you employer operate closer to home and could you transfer, cutting fuel costs and wear & tear on car
3) Does your mum know about your situation? If not, discussing it isn’t a weakness but rather a strength to be able to face it head on. Could she forgo some payments for a short term basis to enable you to over-pay £400 per month to highest interest bearing debt?

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It must be demoralising to be working so hard yet unable to enjoy any social activities e.t.c. I agree with mr frugalfever’s suggestions above. In addition: 
1) Could you register with a private healthcare agency for odd, extra shifts? They tend to pay higher rates than the NHS (although you don’t say if you work for the NHS so you may work for a private provider anyway). 

2) Are there any opportunities for promotion so you could earn more money? 

3) If you do work for the NHS the 3% pay increase with the backdated pay will be in September’s pay packets. Could you earmark this money to pay something off your overdraft? 

enthusiasticsaver

How old are your children?  Whilst I appreciate you are trying to help your mum it  may be financially more beneficial to use the tax free childcare scheme or the 30 free hours if your children are pre school age.  If they are both at school then £400 is way too much to spend on childcare and your mum needs to sort something else out like maybe apply for benefits in her own name.  Getting yourself into trouble to help her is not the answer. Also prioritise your overdraft over the credit card and maybe  move away from using the credit card altogether.  Most people spend less when they are not using a card.  What does that £400-£600 a month get spent on? 

Mellee79

The credit card is used for shopping and fuel. I have a Santander 123 lite account and the credit card is partnered so I get cashback on certain soendings. I pay it off as a monthly bill to keep it interest free.
My overdraft is charged at £1 a day, £2 (I think) if I am over £2k in. I think it is capped as well but I forget now.
I live in my overdraft because I always have less coming in than goes out. When I get a loan and clear it back I am too scared to reduce it incase I end up needing it but I also think the bank would never increase it again to the same level.

I had thought I would be better off working more hours as I was in receipt of child tax credit. I no longer have that due to my income increasing. I pay my mum because she doesnt get enough benefit income to support herself and it was either she work but I'd be stuck for care for my son who has special needs or she care for him while I work and I help her by paying her. She has reduced the amount she asks for to £300 as she is aware I'm struggling.

The easiest thing would be to get a loan and I hate feeling like this. I cant do it anymore. Its so miserable and I often wonder what's the point? I'm never going to be free.

My children are 15 and 13. My daughter has contact with her dad. He pays £30 a week.
My son (who has special needs) has never had any contact with his 'dad'. He is on an enforced deductions of earnings which is £90 a month.

There is opportunity for me to work extra hours at my place of work but little opportunity in terms of physicality, child care and work/life balance generally. I am specialised and not able to work nearer to home or private. I am NHS ward based. I am also at the top of my pay band. I would not choose to seek promotion as that puts me into management instead of patient care.
I did try agency nursing but it was so far away from home and very rarely a shift came up that I could do (agency nursing is mainly last minute booking).

I will look at the calculator link and come back- thank you all.

Mellee79

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 2000

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 475

Other income............................ 210[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2685[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 279.8

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 335

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 127

Electricity............................. 50

Gas..................................... 50

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 32.13

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 52

TV Licence.............................. 13.37

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 122.29

Internet Services....................... 9.99

Groceries etc. ......................... 600

Clothing................................ 30

Petrol/diesel........................... 0

Road tax................................ 0

Car Insurance........................... 41.7

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 250

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 0

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 21.57

Other insurance......................... 65

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 25

Haircuts................................ 0

Entertainment........................... 0

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 2114.85[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 210000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 1500

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 211500[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 90000....(279.8)....0[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 90000.....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Personal loan..................9966......397.......0

Furniture......................500.......105.......0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........10466.....502.......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,685

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,114.85

Available for debt repayments........... 570.15

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 502[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 68.15[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 211,500

Total HP & Secured debt................. -90,000

Total Unsecured debt.................... -10,466[b]

Net Assets.............................. 111,034[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Ok... that didnt go quite as expected... sorry for the code!

This isnt totally accurate either. Some of the assets and debts are estimated.

Sncjw

If you pot your soa we can hVe a look and see where you can sve money.

Also you have to be careful if your mum is claiming benefits and getting 400 quid. Does she really spend that much looking fter her own grand kids I imagine after school and at weekends.