Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

LadyWithAPlan

SandyShores said:

Another one here needing to redo the home office.  I swapped my small desk for a larger one, and had a move around but I need to sort my small shelf set out as its just a big mess.  I've got a sideboard with my sewing stuff in but have seen instructions on pinterest to make a big cutting table out of some kallax units, table tops and castors - would be good to store all my sewing stuff currently sitting around in bags.  Its a job I need to motivate myself to do.

This sounds good this table - a perfect January project! 

savingholmes

Great wins!

Good luck with the room reshuffle / clear out

SuperSecretSquirrel

Those competition wins are pretty huge, well done!

In your shoes I would completely empty the study into another room (bedroom, lounge, wherever) - apart from maybe any furnitute that you know definitely needs to stay there (but emoty all cupboards and drawers), then only allow the stuff you want to keep back in. The mess it causes in the temporary room will encourage you to sort it all out ASAP. The stuff that doesn't make it back in there either finds its proper place elsewhere in your home, or goes out the front door one way or another. You'll end up with a study containing only what should be in there and nothing more.

Cheery_Daff

Wow, excellent competition wins there! 

LadyWithAPlan

SuperSecretSquirrel said:

Those competition wins are pretty huge, well done!

In your shoes I would completely empty the study into another room (bedroom, lounge, wherever) - apart from maybe any furnitute that you know definitely needs to stay there (but emoty all cupboards and drawers), then only allow the stuff you want to keep back in. The mess it causes in the temporary room will encourage you to sort it all out ASAP. The stuff that doesn't make it back in there either finds its proper place elsewhere in your home, or goes out the front door one way or another. You'll end up with a study containing only what should be in there and nothing more.

Cheery_Daff said:

Wow, excellent competition wins there! 

 Tx - yes £2000 cash  on a prize draw and what looks like I will clear £185 on the other is great

Great advice and radical on the cleaning  @SuperSecretSquirrel and tx for popping in - you are a legend - pity I didn't see it before my 2 mad hours in there (motivated as below by a bit of anger) - the delivery is coming 2mrw between 9am and 12...;) I have emptied and washed out the one corner entirely and emptied one small wheely filing cabinet, I love your advice of taking all out except what should be in there - sadly there is a pile of ebayable things and boxes to post said ebayable things ... which I would cry if it was in my lounge. So my one side of the study is chaos, the other bare! Amazing how I keep old boxes from my electricals ... I will at least empty every drawer out first.

Once the workstation arrives I will reorganise what is on my desk into it as it has shelves as well - and also move paperwork that is in a cupboard in my bedroom in the study. I want to have a neat place for my many handbags and also my linen in my bedroom. I am pretty good - once I finally start something I do finish it.. its the starting thats major.

I have a simple desk and too many chairs also  in my study -so I may keep the desk for ebaying at first then ask my neighbours if they want it - its a good work size space but I wont need 2 desks ... 
Good news is there is a £1 max ebay selling fees on this weekend finally so tomorrow whilst I wait I will be ebaying. If stuff doesnt go unless it is worth over £20 I will give to charity next weekend.
I have a huge hall cupboard as well that I need to put shelves up so once I have started my carpentry level one 10 weeks next Thursday I will adding shelves in there to help.

I have just put my second fridge freezer on FB Marketplace as I cant see me using it (it was free from a neighbour/friend) However I may see tomorrow if a local place (such as a local charity, shelter or a kids school etc  want it for free- any suggestions? - it works great but I have to change my mindset on keeping too much - A small  extra freezer  for batch cooking would be great but I dont need 2 double fridge freezers when it is just me ..

I am still doing the minimalist game so 1 thing day 1 of each month, day 2 2 things etc. So as its Friday 13th I easily threw 13 things away today - its quite fun as I wander round the house looking for things to declutter.

@savingholmes Tx I need the virtual support. I was quite motivated though as I was keeping myself busy due to some dubious tidings on today Friday 13th...

For those who have read my diary from earlier this summer may recall how my friend who has a habit of picking fairly spoilt male partners had got dumped again and I wanted to be honest - however  luckily I didn't - they got back together before I opened my mouth. However we have further installments  (it's feeling a bit Jersey Shore now - I have never watched Jersey Shore but this much ridiculous behaviour feels like it has been fuelled by accidentally inhaling too much fake tan)

My friends b/friend  has always been very heavy handed with the flirting with me especially as we all drink more... and even once saying 'if you were my g/friend I'd grab you right now'    (my response was 'please dont') ..
However at a party in October at his house - they were both there - i have refused to see him w/out her but  he actually grabbed my right breast. No context - we were in the open plan entertainment area, just talking, lots of people around, and he grabbed me. I calmly removed his hand from me slightly in shock and we both discovered  at the same time my friend was standing right behind us staring at him. I lent back and held her hand for a moment in support - and then walked off as figured she needed to deal with the b/friend more than I did.
She text me the next day fine but since then it has been weird silence. I have called for Xmas , asked if she was coming to London for Dec as normal etc and her bday was this week and no real response.. she lives out of the UK so I figured she was away -   I just discovered  at 7pm this evening that she is in London and was having a small friends pub drinks  this eve - normally I would have been there automatically - we have been friends for 25+ years, part of a small lovely group of friends, travelled together etc and it seems that just because this idiot who can't keep his hands to himself I am being made to pay. There is no other reason for her not to talk to me, but I am the scarlet letter wearer. I would never go near him as he is her b/friend - she has lost the plot. I called this week (she didn't pick up) and left a voice message for the bday.

Did she not read the memo 'Bros before ..' or sing 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls songs?

I was a bit shocked to find out she was having a do - a mutual friend called to check timings as such  - and a bit angry  and hurt at first  how did I get shunned?- how am I the one who is wrong  but then I decided I wasn't letting her stupidity, misplaced jealousy and idiocy ruin my night or my weekend.
I chanted to centre myself - someone this crazy  doesn't get to change my life or affect my mood - not matter how long we have been friends  -   and I then was much more efficient in tidying the study, dancing around to some music. I actually feel now worried for her - a man like that is not faithful when she is not there, he is also v controlling when she is there -  she must be super worried about his faithfulness. Or maybe someone is dying? Or menopause has finally driven her to desperate.
I am sad she's ever think I'd run off with him or maybe feels sad and doesn't want to deal with it - however this blaming the woman for the mans behaviour is so 11th century.. 

Grocery Challenge  spent £5.30
£105.40/ £145 + £12.10/ 30 
£5.30 in Tsco as had ran out of eggs and my new bread maker is coming along with  the desk tomorrow so I need to try it .. Plus some apples and  Tsco brand crunchy crisps and some water. I am still off all sweets, cakes, biscuits, no dairy and no alcohol ... so I am craving carbs and eating a lot of fresh fruit.

No gym today as was doing work til 7 then got the official news my friend has lost the plot... so decided to refocus in getting study cleared so they can get in easily.

Arkers

Hola @LadyWithAPlan couldn't cut and run without commenting on the situation with your friend.  I think you have answered the issue yourself by telling us that her bfriend is a controlling neanderthal. The unwanted touching of your breast is indecent assault, however reading between the lines I suspect the perv has told a pack of porkies to get him off the hook with you friend. Obviously an assumption, but highly probable.  

I had a similar thing when a "friend," organised a holiday without me. After my other friend asked if I was going I was very upset. That friend intervened and then miraculously I was then invited, needless to say I declined....whereupon I got "sorry you can't make it, but nice to be invited!" She wasn't aware that I knew I hadn't been invited in the first place! Having analysed the situation in the round I believe her twonk if a husband who doesn't like me had influenced the situation.  This lady is a highly intelligent, very successful individual, but imo is coerced and controlled by her spouse. Difficult I know but don't write your friend off entirely.

Arkers x

beanielou

Do you chant NYRK? 

savingholmes

I think you are well shot of both of them myself but can understand being hurt. If a bloke did that to me I would make a huge scene and potentially involve the Police.

TallGirl

Agree although it hurts your better off hopefully the other friends will see you being excluded what it is one day. As for your friend let her be wrapped up in this guy but when it’s over be there to pick up the pieces. She’s just a bit blind at the moment sadly. 

LadyWithAPlan

Tx for all the warm feedback - it is much appreciated - feeling the virtual love Even my mum said she will see right eventually, whether I have the patience by then we will see. 

I will call her calmly next week as a final effort as I think she must be having some kind of breakdown. (I am slightly appalled but also slightly amused at myself (hubris much?)  that I think she has gone mentally insane to behave like this towards me). She knows I am not that, I would never break her heart by going near any man of hers (not even Brad Pitt   - lovers come and go but friends of decades are more important).

She has put on a lot of weight  2-3 stone plus since menopause which shouldn't preclude her from feeling fabulous - curves can be wonderful and she is still gorgeous - but it does seem to have affected how she feels about herself and how she dresses now - and also downgrading to an admittedly attractive man who throws himself at other women in front of her - and we wonder why I am still single. ....


@Arkers sorry you had to go through that.. I am afraid I am over people who don't put respect to friends as an important priority vs partners (who often become ex's for controlling reasons).  Once last year I had to travel an hour thru London to see her in a local to his place for 60 mins only whilst he was busy in the gym.. then she rushed off.

On him touching me - she was literally stood right behind us - i didn't see her before but we were not flirting - it was completely inappropriate behaviour on his part - how she could ever make that situation my fault is beyond me - but it seems she might have. He has in the past in front of her said that looking at pics of the  2 of us  in our 20s how we  would have  been a perfect 3some! Yes lets' insult everyone. UGH

@savingholmes At times of shock I get very calm and deal from my intellectual brain - and I decided she should deal with the man as he is hers not mine. 

@TallGirl My other friends are cool - and have arranged to see me in a couple of weeks time and they know what he is like so - and also the men she goes for. Plus I am on dry January anyway so I woke up today without a hangover.


Furniture disaster - despite there being no mention of it in the description or in the pics - my furniture turned up in flat pack boxes!! The delivery men said it's a nightmare to put together. Who buys £475 cupboards and has to put them up?
Other furniture on the site is clearly photographed in boxes of flatpack - this was not. They are denying any culpability - so buyer beware in the case of this  auction house. It is a big unit so if I can't get it together strong enough it will be difficult to use.
The only good thing is I have said I will become a DIY Diva and a friend suggested she will film me trying to put it together with no doubt much cursing It may happen!


Saturday night - I will be going to an immersive art exhibition tonight as both myself and a friend are not drinking for Jan - its £25 + booking each for a ticket but I suppose that is cheaper than a couple rounds in a London club and art is good for the soul. I may well pop to a friends bar after for a non alcoholic drink
Trying to get out to go the gym now - of course its just started raining ... and i need to drop a parcel off - inpost lockers are great but all my local ones are full of the LARGE parcel size so had to cancel and start again..

Looks like I have sold my fridge freezer thru FB £50 and the thing I won - both people planning to come pick it up tomorrow to pay cash. I will wait in the building foyer for them rather than let them in my apartment.
So the cash can be split into savings and SIPP