Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

Cheery_Daff

No overnight option, and we regularly do it in one day so no excuses really (it's 2.5 hours each way). Not how I'd ideally be spending Christmas but hey ho! 

KajiKita

I set the routine from the very start with Mr KK. We’d been together for c. 10months by the time our first Christmas rolled around and Mr KK’s mum invited me for Christmas dinner. 

As far as I was concerned, it was *my* first Christmas that I could do *my* way (not with parents, not with sociopathic ex) and I wasn’t giving that up for anyone. Mr KK was slightly surprised that I said no, but then said he wanted to spend it with me. We’ve been doing it like that ever since 😊 We now have his parents around for lunch on NYE (it’s too much cooking to do it on Boxing Day, back to back with Christmas Day - I need a break in between).

I’m sorry that your family are being dramatic and sucking you into their drama. Stand outside of it - you can’t help, you’re bound to get it wrong in some way for someone, and you do Christmas your way 😉

KK

PennysIntoPounds

Tell them all if you hear a single stressful comment between now and the 25th them and their branch of the family is getting no visit and no gifts. The commenter can explain to their partner/kid/parent that they couldn't bite their tongue to show basic goodwill at Christmas time, and you can return the presents/sell them and enlarge your flat fund.
Zero tolerance for naughty list behaviour at the most magical time of the year haha

savingholmes

We used to have a set couple of days when we saw Ex's family and then one day when we saw mine. If some of my family didn't turn up that day we refused to go back another day. That way we only saw family Xmas day 6 hours, boxing day less than 5 hours NY Day about 3-4 hours. 

Definitely find a way to set clear boundaries.

South_coast

PennysIntoPounds said:

Tell them all if you hear a single stressful comment between now and the 25th them and their branch of the family is getting no visit and no gifts. The commenter can explain to their partner/kid/parent that they couldn't bite their tongue to show basic goodwill at Christmas time, and you can return the presents/sell them and enlarge your flat fund.
Zero tolerance for naughty list behaviour at the most magical time of the year haha

Oh I LOVE this 🤣!

LadyWithAPlan

Some great ideas and boundary setting going on my thread here - none of it by me! Interesting to see how 'normal' people do it.

PennysIntoPounds said:

Zero tolerance for naughty list behaviour at the most magical time of the year haha

Genius! 
 @PenniesIntoPounds unfortunately  though  if I did that I would never see some members of the family who live with the rude one.. but liking your style! 

@KajiKita
 I completely get that  - go you! Its a precious time ... but my DM likes to hang on to the old idea of all together at xmas and its not possible given the schisms. So I feel bad... but not bad enough to not switch every other year.

For me Xmas is about the kids so I do like to see the kids on xmas ...
I help with the cooking,  food and wrapping prep and w/up so I am useful One year I would like to a London Xmas - though I have lived here for many years I have never stayed ... its lovely and quiet - and restaurants are open  


@SouthCoast indeed ) 

@savingholmes  I think when one has kids or gets married you have more power to separate - as I live quite far I always come back to see everyone and the kids as well..


Amazon returns - my cc got credited with the 2 items returned via Royal mail collection which was fabulous - you do need a printer though for this way,

Side hustle - the Friday one they want to do a zoom - will be a decent rate for only an hours work.
The big spring side hustle was off this morning as there was clearly a gap between my expectations and theirs so they said tx but no, I was fine about it, but then the referrer in-between got involved and said how good I was and perfect for the role  (I didnt speak to him he just got involved)  .. so they came back and discussions reopened. However I am not convinced so trying to not waste too much time. 

YNAB - i have a play every day as I am getting paid bits and these refunds, plus my friend paid me her half the Sat tix.. etc.
I also got paid for my random shift last week for my friend - so have that and the 'free money' to assign. Its quite exciting when new  cash hits your bank acct! You get to decide where it goes.... I have various categories not fully filled especially with Xmas so... and I know my Sat night will be expensive.
Just shuffled some v small amts in my ynab sipp £7.80 , tax and hse deposit  £12.80 categories - easy to add up at the end of the month tx to the reports so not added into the funds yet or mid month tally here.

Track extra income from ebay/free money/refunds etc    £240.01 
Free Money -- used my £20 Sain dbl points voucher 

Spending ..
Popped out to get some food for a party  at a friends this eve - so was a spend day ..
 I had my  2nd £20 Sain voucher to use (and still got  my £40 one left - to be used by Xmas eve) I may buy some champagne glasses.. so I also picked up some bulk items I needed  which I cant get from Mr Lidl -GF pasta, GF baking powder and a couple box of chocolates which had offers on as always useful
I cant use the double points vouchers on alcohol so...

Sains £30.19 but £20 voucher 
Bulk  £7.64 - harissa paste, tomato paste, GF baking powder, GF pasta - an expensive kind to try.
Xmas stocking/food gifts £14.05
Junk (sweets) £1.45
Rose Prosecco  £8

Per month  - Dec 23 SPEND/SAVE
Track my Grocery spending  £52.27/£200   +   grocery +   £31.93/£100bulk 
Track what I save in my hse deposit  Dec £140.69 /£980.69 
Cashflow EF  £64/£2000  
Track extra income from ebay/free money/refunds etc    £240.01 
December Voluntary Spending   £507.71 - largely xmas shopping and 2 big nights out 

beanielou

Was it you who recommended Waitrose Prosecco? I can’t find it again. 

Can you please share the links again. 

Thanks. ☺️ 

LadyWithAPlan

beanielou said:

Was it you who recommended Waitrose Prosecco? I can’t find it again. 

Can you please share the links again. 

Thanks. ☺️ 

It was me -   
I love the rose one but the brut is also lovely - best prosecco I have tasted and I drink a lot of bubbles
It has a funny fluted neck collar  thats how I know its right bubbles

La Gioiosa Prosecco Rosé Millesimato Brut £10.99 at waitrose 

but they often do down to £8.99

I see the Brut version is now at tesco but may be slightly different - the fluted collar one (will dm you link) is the guaranteed one.

The Waitrose and also Lidl cremant is v good as well 

savingholmes

Good you've been paid from one of your shifts.

The side hustle convo sounds disappointing - but it sounds like you have a good advocate in your corner. Do definitely hold boundaries there too - as for me it would already be an Amber flag.

LadyWithAPlan

Tx @savingholmes its v bright amber flag here. I will wait for the advocate to get back in touch and politely say something but honestly I am thinking unless things change it is not happening cos I am not getting myself in any weird situations  and I am drawing hard lines.  
I have just changed my whats app so they can't see when I am online to create some distance


I chased another company where they owed me work expenses as well I prepaid - they said they would pay so  hopefully get in the next week - largely excited as I can then move cash around for ynab!


MG game - I did 12/12 yesterday  so 65 to 12./12 and will get my 13 in today .. so far only 1/13 as I dropped something ,.
 I now need to do either some big decluttering of items like the hall cupboard, bottom of wardrobe stuff, or selling unworn items as  I am running out of paperwork, broken things  and easier things to declutter

Spending 2 more xmas gifts   £48.99
Googled and found a discount code to save £2.95 on postage on one item £28.99 
Suggested a family member got a apple watch for xmas  as I LOVE mine and they want a watch  so I bought an extra strap -£20  - my apple watch is only reason I have an iphone vs an android phone - the apps etc are brilliant

MSE ways  whilst Xmas shopping
Even when there is no TCB or Quidco cb (I always check there first) I have been going onto instagram, tiktok etc and looking at recent posts of the company before buying anything and saved 12.5% on one purchase yesterday by seeing a 12.5% off code on a sm post. so £5 or so off.
Today nothing came up on sm for a gift so I googled codes for a company and saved £2.95 for postage - I did try 3 other codes but the 4th one worked   A lot of these influencers push product and have a special discount code so particularly useful if you buying for the teenage market 

Plus I get airtime rewards and tiny bits from zipzero

YNAB  - I am  still loved up  
Seeing my cc balance slowly go up as I buy xmas gifts but plenty in my current acct to pay it off- such a clear way to see your spending in one snapshot - I loved my paper budget for years and my virtual pots but ynab really does point in large flashing red lights -
'you are  overspending here - where are you getting the money to cover this from? Which lovely pot are you moving your money across to cover this...'

I can see I will blow my xmas gifts budget as only £6.99 left in that category - will have to move stuff around - done a fair amount but need to add some stocking filler food and CS books bits plus a couple others to buy for...
I am under in lots of categories like groceries but I already know I need to add more for drinks out category for this Sat night ..
Next week will leave London to see family so less drinks out

Still cold in London but v dry at least. i dont want to leave my warm house but once I get out in the crisp fresh air properly dressed up its actually lovely.
Last college class tomorrow then either a friends drinks thing at home or a friends get together in a pub...

Went  to a carol service  this eve - singalong plus a few emotional  Pogues classics - not a dry eye in the house.  Dirty Old Town, Rainy nights in Soho, and the classic FairytaLe in NY - always good to be reminded of the power of simple direct story telling in song and that what Shane McGowan lacked in 'vocal quality' he made for it completely in performance, feeling, his words and his very gruffness made his voice  and story telling magic.  This is where shows like x factor get it so wrong. 
 I miss being part of a choir - may get back into one  in January.  Been years ..

Popped to a SM on way back to get crisps £1.50 yes junk and a  thing for a competition entry £2.50 spent. I had a large lunch but no dinner as had to be out for 6.15 - had 2 large glasses mulled wine so guess the crisps were my dinner..

Voluntary spending £557