Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

daisy_1571

Oooh, its got myrna loy, another of my favourite actresses.  Love her in mr blandings, one that, like you lwap, I put on as comfort viewing  ❤ 

PennysIntoPounds

The whole of Camden and Islington boroughs seem to be ridiculous. The amount of places we've been to see that are 30 minutes walk from a tube, tiny, dingy, in a rough area and they're best part of half a mil cos 'Camden/Islington'. And they're not even the most expensive boroughs 😂

LadyWithAPlan

@PennysIntoPounds I saw a 1 bed, v high ceilings + windows, no outside space  in Camden and a open plan  kitchen/lounge £575k!! 

Definitely a spendy day as I caught up with some Xmas shopping  online - still a few bits to get but all shop bought now - some CS books for the kids etc

A LaPlan Rant coming up  - you may want to skip.....

Got some unspoken  family drama  dumped on me just as the last few years various members of the family arent talking to each other and I keep getting caught in the middle .. I feel bad for my DM as she is also caught up in it  but I am being heaped a load of guilt about where I will be  (I am trying to take it in turns but people cant count!) and honestly I would rather just get on a plane and go skiing..

I wont but Xmas is pressure enough without  everyone have these ideas of  how things should be at xmas .. they change .. family units change .. I am sure those of you with various kids and ex partners, ex MIL's etc  know the stresses of this more than I... 

I keep thinking 'better live with regret than resentment ....' but honestly I used to enjoy Xmas far more without all  this drama none of which is my making. I missed xmas with long term partners before cos of family pressure and  if I was in a relationship now I would choose to be more fair rather than always being with family and not the person I loved with nowadays.

So excuse me whilst I have a tantrum ... I am sorry for those caught in the middle but I cant make other people change  and I hate passive aggressive guilt being dumped on me  when actually the anger should be directed elsewhere.. 
Argh..

....................................
On a better note the side hustle looks like it is indeed moving forward from spring next year - could be great money  ...  but need to work out some details... some of which I am not sure of ... we will see...
 
EDIT: actually some bonkers stuff emerging .. I may be saying no ... unless we can clarify. clearly... I will be.
I forget LaPlan  is often still  seen as an attractive woman but honestly  I am over 50  ...  it is not something I think will get in the way of my work anymore  (ha!) .. I am blaming that LED face mask .... 

but  I have picked up a mini side hustle one- off job Friday. 

Main contract - have a conversation tomorrow so hopefully get things moving along.. I am feeling a bit demotivated by the lack of payments tbh 

Hassling the other 2 for cash owed ...

Good news is I have enough EF money to be fine no matter what 

SIPP + ISA's are up a bit 

Loving ynab even with seeing my xmas shopping changing my budget

Cheery_Daff

Urgh to family drama at Christmas 🙄 Mr Cheery and I went our separate ways the first year as we'd only been together about 6 weeks, but then the next year we went on holiday and didn't visit any family til January 😁 It was great 😁 So great, in fact, that we did it for several more years, and broke any expectation of us going to any family at all 😂 Then for several more years we stayed at home, just the two of us 😁 

Last year we ended up going to his family as his dad was quite ill, and it seems we're going again this year, but I confess I'm keen for it not to become an expectation that that's what we'll do every year...

So I reckon take yourself off somewhere and sack them all off! Or just tell them you're going on holiday and have a nice few days at home 😁

LadyWithAPlan

Cheery_Daff said:

Urgh to family drama at Christmas 🙄 Mr Cheery and I went our separate ways the first year as we'd only been together about 6 weeks, but then the next year we went on holiday and didn't visit any family til January 😁 It was great 😁 So great, in fact, that we did it for several more years, and broke any expectation of us going to any family at all 😂 Then for several more years we stayed at home, just the two of us 😁 

Last year we ended up going to his family as his dad was quite ill, and it seems we're going again this year, but I confess I'm keen for it not to become an expectation that that's what we'll do every year...

I was just catching up on your thread as a last read before bedtime... urgh indeed.

Well done you on getting the habit sorted from the start . I think its normal couples want time together themselves.. whether I am solo  or not its somehow its expected i do all the rounds.. 
I think as our parents get older its harder to say no...

Cheery_Daff

Indeed it is. It is always me who ends up doing the rounds at some point over the festive period,  nobody ever travels to us.  I find it unreasonably vexing - for various reasons various family members can't or won't be in the same house,  so I end up going to for different houses that are all fairly close together  - can't really do for in one day though so I end up going over twice which I just find annoying, even if they'd a week or two apart. Need to shift my attitude really! 

Going to Mr Cheery's cannot means a five hour round trip of Christmas day itself, which isn't what I want really but there we are. At least this year it'll be at a different person's house so slightly different (and possibly more relaxed)

South_coast

Cheery_Daff said:

Or just tell them you're going on holiday and have a nice few days at home 😁

I have given this serious consideration on more than one occasion....

TallGirl

Sorry to hear about the family drama hope you come up with a solution that suits you. In my family I am lucky my sister always hosts everyone and we can stay incl my mum and dad who are divorced. 

beanielou

Family dramas are the worst. 

Every family has them. 

Bah humbug. 

LadyWithAPlan

@TallGirl lucky you that you are all grown up and see the positives of getting along despite divorce and differences of opinion - I dont talk to my DS re politics anymore as  she has become more right wing over the years .. Brexit/BJ/'Queen Camilla' all are no go subjects now for me  

 We had difficulties then a  decade of all fine Xmas's then argh since .. 
I am like a politician  in my getting on with everyone (so said a friend of mine this weekend!)
I am sure when my parents are not here I may regret not being there every Xmas but honestly I think its unreasonable to get annoyed with me as I try to keep everyone happy ...

'be regretful rather than resentful' is my Dec motto ..

@beanielou I know you have had a few issues - sorry - we perservere nonetheless.

South_coast said:

Cheery_Daff said:

Or just tell them you're going on holiday and have a nice few days at home 😁

I have given this serious consideration on more than one occasion....

Ha! I love a ski holiday but the levels of guilt put on me... for decades...

I need a (possibly imaginary) partner next xmas to blame  for my 'running off' over xmas.

Cheery_Daff said:

Indeed it is. It is always me who ends up doing the rounds at some point over the festive period,  nobody ever travels to us.  I find it unreasonably vexing - for various reasons various family members can't or won't be in the same house,  so I end up going to for different houses that are all fairly close together  - can't really do for in one day though so I end up going over twice which I just find annoying, even if they'd a week or two apart. Need to shift my attitude really! 

Maybe they need to shift their attitude.. 
I travel as they have kids/pets/older.. I think the first year I buy my own place I will be insisting I stay there and people can pop by!  Xmas 2024..

Cheery_Daff said:

Indeed it is. It is always me who ends up doing the rounds at some point over the festive period,  nobody ever travels to us.  I find it unreasonably vexing - for various reasons various family members can't or won't be in the same house,  so I end up going to for different houses that are all fairly close together  - can't really do for in one day though so I end up going over twice which I just find annoying, even if they'd a week or two apart. Need to shift my attitude really! 

Going to Mr Cheery's cannot means a five hour round trip of Christmas day itself, which isn't what I want really but there we are. At least this year it'll be at a different person's house so slightly different (and possibly more relaxed)

5 hours on xmas day!! I would not be doing that more than once.. I appreciate MrC dad is ill but isnt there an overnight option or will you be trying to escape early cos of the long drive

I need to renew my driving license - that would make life easier  as I could hire a car... I cant see it getting renewed in a week though..