Lone parent - making a will

minimoneysaver

Arghh I can't pluck up the courage to talk to my ex about our little girl and my wishes. My parents are of course delighted. I was just thinking about the letter to accompany my will, stating my wishes. I'm really not sure how to word it. Basically I want to say something about my daughter seeing my parents, especially my mother every week, as she frequently comes to stay to help me out. She takes my dd to nursery on the days that she's stayed the night, because I work full time. She knows my daughter properly. My dd sees my father every weekend too. Can someone please help me out and post a few lines/letter to get me started??? Sorry it is so much to ask of you. xxx

Diamond78

I am in a sort of similar position. My son is nearly 6 and hasnt and doesnt have much contact with his dad or his dads side of the family. Its always me that goes out of our way in order for there to be contact.My ex was very violent towards me in the past,I have had injunctions out several times but as my son gets older, he asks for his dad and its down to me to get him seing him. Due to my ex having a drug and anger problem, I do not allow him access on his own, I have to be there as the ex is not willing to have supervised visits. I have made sure all that has happened in the past, has not affected or reflected on my son but unfortunatly he does remember and does know what his dad has done. His grandparents are not very different, its always us going to see them as they never have time to come and see my son.But as an adult and until the time is right I feel I am doing the right thing.

My dilema is, I want to do a will but I only have my brother as family. My dad passed away 2 years ago and my mum lives abroad, my ex use to taunt me that due to my brother being gay he would never have rights over my son. I do not know where I stand?

Any advice would be useful. I have rang round for prices before but being a lone parent money is tight as it is so if anyone can recomend a place would be grateful-Thanks

Ticklemouse

I am going to sign my new will next Tuesday, in which it states that in the event of my death, my boys will live with one of my sisters. I asked my solicitor if I had to put in that this was to only be in the event that ExH had pre-deceased me. She said that as he will be their living parent then they would automatically go to live with their dad as my sister would not have legal rights to them, so it doesn't need stating.

I think the advice to seek proper legal advice is the best way forward. Maybe get it before you speak to your child's father so that you know where you stand. It could be, as has already been stated, that he won't want her full time and will be happy with limited contact, as now.

Ticklemouse

Diamond78 wrote: »

I am in a sort of similar position. My son is nearly 6 and hasnt and doesnt have much contact with his dad or his dads side of the family. Its always me that goes out of our way in order for there to be contact.My ex was very violent towards me in the past,I have had injunctions out several times but as my son gets older, he asks for his dad and its down to me to get him seing him. Due to my ex having a drug and anger problem, I do not allow him access on his own, I have to be there as the ex is not willing to have supervised visits. I have made sure all that has happened in the past, has not affected or reflected on my son but unfortunatly he does remember and does know what his dad has done. His grandparents are not very different, its always us going to see them as they never have time to come and see my son.But as an adult and until the time is right I feel I am doing the right thing.

My dilema is, I want to do a will but I only have my brother as family. My dad passed away 2 years ago and my mum lives abroad, my ex use to taunt me that due to my brother being gay he would never have rights over my son. I do not know where I stand?

Any advice would be useful. I have rang round for prices before but being a lone parent money is tight as it is so if anyone can recomend a place would be grateful-Thanks

Can't help re where to go but maybe CAB would be a good place to start?

I can't see how the fact that your brother is gay will have any bearing over his potential as a decent and loving uncle/guardian. Does your ex have parental responsibility? Were you ever married? If dad doesn't have PR and you and your brother are happy that he (brother) would be a guardian in the event of your death, then go for it.

Also, would it still be impossible for you mum to have your son? When my sisters and I were growing up, in the event of our parents' death, we were to go to live with my aunt, in Canada.

Diamond78

My ex would say thinks that I would beleive, my brothers a very loving and caring uncle and my son adores him. My brother sees us every week and has always helped, he is the male model in my sons life and my son looks up to him. I beleive it would be in my sons best interest that he would go to my brother as he is sensible and a great role model and I know he would bring him up as best as he could by giving him love and stability.

I was not married to my ex and he does not have parental responsibilty although he is down on the birth certifacate. I have tried to do things through the courts but my ex does not co operate. As my son is getting older and wiser, he is realising himself that his dad and his dads family dont bother with him which is upsetting as I know myself what it is like to not have family around.
Thanks for the info.