Lone parent - making a will

hobo28

basil92 wrote: »

well then he doesnt have parental responsibility. you can put what you like in your will, in your daughters best interests, and your wishes would be taken into consideration. see a solicitor they will advise you. making a will is very sensible in your position

If she was born 2005 then he DOES.

mookiandco

This is the current law:

The law changed on 1 December 2003 to make it easier for unmarried fathers to get equal parental responsibility: all you have to do is for both parents to register the birth of your baby together.

If this was done then the father will have PR. If a child is born before dec 2003, even if father's name is on birth certificate he won't automatically have PR. He can get PR by virtue of a PR agreement or through a Parental responsibility order from the court.

In respect of the OP's situation, you can appoint in your will whoever you wish to be a legal guardian to your child. In the event of your death, it would be up to the father to contest the will if he wanted the child to live with him.

You should also bear in mind that appointing your parent's as 'guardians' does not give them PR. Upon your death they may need to get this from the court to ensure they can consent to medical treatment, liaise with child's school etc. The father would need to be given notice of any such application.

Becles

I was in a similar situation and my ex does have PR. I got my solicitor to write my will saying that the boys would go to my parents, and if ex wanted them he would have to contest the will.

I've since married again and new hubby has taken on PR for my boys. My will now says I want the boys to stay with hubby and their baby sister.

Mojisola

From our experience of soliciters' advice, if you want to do something "different" in your will like appoint guardians for your child when the father is alive, you can write your reasons in a letter which is kept with the will. This allows your voice to be heard from "beyond the grave".

However, I think the future of your child is something too important to "moneysave" on. It's worth the cost of a soliciter - if it's too much for you, then maybe your parents will help out to make sure their grandchild can stay with them.

basil92

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Basil92, I thought if his name was on the birth certificate he did have parental responsibility? Arghhh, this is so confusing.

sorry minimoneysaver, my mistake. didnt know of change in law, but i still believe your wishes drawn up in a will would be very significant should anything happen to you! it cant make things worse. please let us know wot ur solicitor advises

minimoneysaver

Thanks, I will let you know. I'll try to call from work today and see what the solicitor says.
If anyone thinks of anything else, please let me know! xxx

floss2

I made a will which stated that my DS's were to live with their dad; in the event that he died, they were to be under the guardianship of my brother & SIL, with my other 2 brothers ALWAYS trustees for their inheritance (my life insurance as was renting our home) - basically, my ex was not allowed to spend my/their cash!

All I had to do was get written agreement frm ex via his sol's (was during divorce) & it was written into the will.

BTW, well done for thinking about the future...it's hard to do but so much easier if you do so.

Floss x

Mojisola

floss2 wrote: »

BTW, well done for thinking about the future...it's hard to do but so much easier if you do so.

I'll second that. Let's hope that, however you decide to write the will, it's not needed until both you and your daughter are old and grey!

hobbesy_2

I may have missed something here, but I've always been told the best way for people to know what you want after you die is to speak to them while you're still alive. I'm not saying don't write a will, in fact definitely do! But, its like a donor card, its still less stressful after you're gone if the relevant people know what you wanted.

Firstly have you spoken to your parents? I found it a very painful decision to think about who I wanted to have our kids if my husband and I both died. We eventually decided on my parents, and when I told my mum she cried and said how proud she was that we had chosen them (we have a lot of family and friends to choose from).

Secondly, could you not speak to your ex about it? He may well be happy for your parents to have your daughter on the understanding he has the same access he has now. If you don't get his agreement, I'd be worried whatever you got written in your will he could well contest it after and put your daughter and parents through the courts unecessarily whether he has a case or not. If you're doing this for peace of mind you'll get more peace knowing everything is sorted.

Keri -x-

ps. I'm not a solicitor and not in the same situation so feel free to ignore me :-)

minimoneysaver

Thanks Keri, what a valuable point. Of course I won't ignore you. I'm going to talk to both parties involved as you suggested. I just hope that everyone can be amicable about it.