Money Moral Dilemma: What's the fairest way to help our children on to the property ladder?

Olderseadog

I have given both an equal amount, one has bought a house and needed help, the other a lump sum for the future. I think it is far better to give them the support they require and to get on the housing ladder, with house prices as they are I dont want them renting for the rest of their lives. Hopefully providing I live longer than the seven years required for Capital Gains Tax avoidance it will not count. When I do pass on they would have got it anyway in their inheritance, so why not sooner when it's needed.

dave_shawcross

Give them each the same percentage of their individual deposit, Remember to make sure you have enough left for your good selves, the older we get the dearer insurances and holidays become.
Dave

John_L_M

Unless there is some special reason you have not declared then if you are going to help your children out and give them some money you should give them the same amount - a flat in London will cost more sure, but if the market rises across the UK by 10% and you give the child buying the house in London £250k and the one buying outside London £125k the 'London' child will make £25k out of your gift money while the 'None - London' only £12.5k - Sorry if its rather patronising to have to put it down in figures but sometimes people need it that way to 'see' why its not fair. So not only will one child have had more, but they will also 'make' more from this differing amount of gift. Besides, what stops the 'London' child from selling the London flat two years later and moving to a flat next door to the 'None London' child?

Of course, as others have said, giving them the 'same amount' is only the same if you give both children the same amount of money at the same time. Giving one child £100k now and the other child £100k in two years time is still not necessarily treating them equally because the property market will have (almost certainly) moved (probably upwards) - it would be best to use one of those property inflation calculation sites to work out how much the first Childs property has increased (or decreased - its unlikely but could happen!) and then adjust the second child's gift amount accordingly. (That is to say, by the local housing inflation rate increase or decrease!)

There is another option, not discussed so far, which is to give them nothing, but - wait for it, offer to underwrite their mortgages (be a guarantor for their mortgage) giving them a maximum figure you are willing to underwrite. - then the choice is theirs.

Another factor not discussed is who (if anyone) are they buying these properties with? And what happens to the capital if the 'happy couple' split up? Capital evenly split between them! Don't think so, Don't think so sonny Jim. I would want a lawyer involved and everything legally more watertight than a duck's derriere.

I know that's a long answer to a short question, the short answer is as pretty much everyone else has said: 'Give them the same amount.'

Jess'sMum

We were in the same fortunate position and made the decision to give each of ours the SAME amount of money, with a stipulation that it was to be used for housing and nothing else. A place to live is a life essential, they can provide cars, holidays etc at a later time. Where they decide to live is entirely their choice.

JosephK

Same amount to each.

Everything else - where and when they want to buy, whether you should give, etc, etc. - is mere smokescreen.

Littledaler

Please, I beg of you, give them all the same.  Each of your children is entitled to a fair share - what they do with it is up to them.  Any difference in amounts given is tantamount to favouritism and from personal experience, I can tell you, that will never go away.  Oh and Flugelhorn - how mean of you to discourage people from helping their children.  If you're not in their corner, who is?  And don't forget, this generation is the first to bear the brunt of reduced choice in employment, needing to set up a substantial pension pot, property prices in silly money, student loans - oh and they will be paying for Covid.  I think they need - and most of them deserve - all the help they can get.  Let's encourage, not beat them down.

paulk3

If you want to gift ,make it the same each child.
Shame they did not open a LISA WHERE THE GOVERNMENT TOPS UP THE SAVING BY 25% FOR EVERY POUND SAVED
UPTO 4K A YEAR. IE save £1000 and get £250 added normally with 14 days of saving the £1000 ,you do not wait to end of the year.
If you put in £4000 in one go you end up with £5000 for that year. 

eokeok

Interesting and eye-opening responses here. And plenty of life lessons for the near future. 

I would have thought to help each child ‘as needed’. Due to age gap, they will not be buying simultaneously. And as many have pointed out, 20K today will be wildly different 5 or 10 years down the line. 

Never been one to treat my kids “exactly the same”. In the name of fairness. 

I make decisions, presents, gifts, etc. on my understanding of each child’s needs. And abilities at the time. 

Even the supporting them through Uni has been markedly different: London and outside London costs. 

Would now think carefully on this weighty subject of deposits as one child is working towards this. 

Yes, both finally opened the Help to Buy accounts after much nagging! 

MalMonroe

Another vote here for give them the same amount. And don't tell them what to use it for either.

When I got married, my ex and I went to live overseas for three years. Last thing on our minds was buying property, the idea of which made us both feel claustrophobic. 

My adult daughter now feels the same way. 

But however your children feel, we parents shouldn't try to dictate how they live their lives because we have lived our own and now it's their turn. 

If one child decides to live in an expensive area that's their choice but they will still have an added bonus from their parents. 

I see some people are saying let them find their own way but I think if you want to help your children, and you can, then why not? I didn't get anything from anyone and I'm not moaning but if I can help my kids get along then I will. Problem is I've been a single parent for so long that I just can't afford to give much but love to help out when I can. 

It really does give me pleasure. Maybe I'm strange/a fool but so what? To each their own. 

JayD

Give them the same each.

Did you really need to ask?