Money Moral Dilemma: What's the fairest way to help our children on to the property ladder?

Louispastrami

Assuming that they are all able bodied either give them the same for each child or dont give them anything.  Having done this myself I a doluteky know that giving them unequal money or property would be a disaster. 
If one or more of them wants a more expensive property in a more expensive location they'll just have to get their act together and earn or save more.
Best not to infantalise your kids but even more important not to do ANYTHING that even hints st favoritism. 

damekaren

I agree. Your children are really lucky you can help them. I am sure that throughout their lives you have been fair on all the gifts you have given so now is not a time to change. Give them the same and only what you can afford. No need to stretch to indulge what they want. They are making their own decisions and obviously know that prices vary across the country. If you gave different amounts it could be divisive and spoil the wonderful gesture

JaneHenery

Give them all exactly the same. It will cause terrible resentment if you give the Londoners extra. It will look like favouritism. Even if it isn't, and even if your children get on uniquely well, they are still human and even the most saintly human could be offended by a sibling getting extra 'love' from Mum & Dad. Read the bible on the subject to see how that usually pans out!

Marvel1

Give them nothing and do it themselves.

keithyno.1

Oh absolutely give them the same amounts. 

Imagine a hypothetical situation in 5, 10 or however many years time - all of them decide to sell their houses and rent (or move abroad or whatever). House prices have gone up by, say, 20% across the country. The son or daughter in London would be cashing in big style e.g. 20% of £750,000 purchase price = £150,000, whereas 20% of £300,000 purchase price in another area = £60,000.

So imagine the ill-feeling that could cause between the 2 sets of siblings - one benefitted to the tune of £150,000 clear profit as a result of your help, whereas the other only benefitted by £60,000 clear profit.

For ever and a day it could appear that you opted for financial favouritism with the sibling buying in London and could create a family rift that may never heal. Equal amounts provided to all is the only way to prevent that happening. Just look at it this way - same amounts given to each, it’s then up to them where they decide to buy a property.

mrsS_2

I accept in theory that you should give every child the same amount.  But do you adjust it for inflation ? if there is a say a 5year gap between purchases by the children then Theoretically child number one can buy a whole house for say £250k now in a certain road but in 5 years time child b now needs a mortgage or buy in a cheaper area because house prices have gone up by 10% per year over the next five years?    So, to be “fair” and give them equal opportunity, child b now needs nearly £400k(its early and I’m not using a calculator so the maths probably isn’t right,  it’s just as an example).  But instead of giving them enough money to buy a house you have only given child b  enough to buy just over half the same house!

there are probably several more reasons that could come up so that your kids don’t feel they have been treated fairly even though you are really trying

Flugelhorn

mrsS_2 said:

I accept in theory that you should give every child the same amount.  But do you adjust it for inflation ? if there is a say a 5year gap between purchases by the children then Theoretically child number one can buy a whole house for say £250k now in a certain road but in 5 years time child b now needs a mortgage or buy in a cheaper area because house prices have gone up by 10% per year over the next five years?    So, to be “fair” and give them equal opportunity, child b now needs nearly £400k(its early and I’m not using a calculator so the maths probably isn’t right,  it’s just as an example).  But instead of giving them enough money to buy a house you have only given child b  enough to buy just over half the same house!

there are probably several more reasons that could come up so that your kids don’t feel they have been treated fairly even though you are really trying

when we are buying property (2) we plant to get property (1) valued to see what would be equivalent amount - weren't originally intending to do this but the "gap" has been at a time of significant price rises

kingsdown49

I agree with most of the previous comments- an equal cash amount.  Timing is important so to keep it equitable I would make the payment to the children at the same time for them to invest until the money is needed. The most tax efficient way is using a LISA with 25% top up from the government. You could do this each year (£4K pa is the max.) 

shzl400

Give them both what they need, on the proviso that their ultimate inheritances will be adjusted accordingly.

Tokmon

ripongrammargirl said:

How’s this for a novel idea…..
no money for any of the little darlings?
Teach them a life lesson that money doesn’t come for free or always relying on the bank of mum and dad!!!!
I bought my first small property in 1998 at age 25 after working, on my own, non stop every day for 2 years (no holidays, weekends or days off- all highly illegal but threatened the sack if I couldn’t work/was ill etc) from 7am to 11pm, and then doing sleepovers (so still on duty) in houses filled with highly dependant (and aggressive) disabled adults that regularly injured me. 

I had no-one to give me money and parents wouldn’t help. The day I walked into my first home, knowing I had got it through sheer hard work which was exhausting, was a real sense of achievement.
Give your children the same self respect and use your hard earned cash for yourselves, as you never know if/when you might need that and regret giving it away. We are all only ever one pay day away from losing everything, as I did when I was made disabled and unable to work again.
If you have got so much spare cash then I would suggest donating to homeless charities for people who genuinely need help and shelter.
Any other option will only cause arguments between the siblings, asking how much each got and what they spent it on.

So you worked all those ridiculous hours just because you were threatened with the sack if you didn't and you got regularly injured while doing it which sounds pretty awful! and your making it out like it's a good thing to do to get a house!. 

Then you go on to say that you had no one to give you money and your parents wouldn't help. So sounds like you resent people who do have parents that are willing to help their children.

I don't see anything wrong with parents who have loads of spare cash giving gifts to their children when they want to buy a house. Not everyone who get's help from their parents are spoiled brats who argue with their siblings about how much they have each been given.