Power of Attorney financial decisions...

Mojisola

Savvy_Sue said:

I second this. I'd say it was vital for all concerned that your sister gets relief from caring 24/7!

Absolutely right.

The family also need an emergency plan in place in case the sister was suddenly unable to care for mother - illness/accident/hospital stay/etc.

Brie

My other half is my MiL's carer and she also lives with us.  (which means I'm a carer too but don't count as I also work full time)

MiL gets AA & OH gets CA.  Additionally MiL pays the household £600 a month which covers her portion (sort of) all the bills including food and drink.  Initially I did a calculation to split the bills as well as how much it would cost to feed her but when she was turning on the heating all day, every day the amount has had to increase. If she decides to have a holiday (well we decide as she always automatically agrees) she pays for herself and us as she can't go on her own and we cannot leave her at home alone for more than a couple of hours.  Holidays are very rare though as they need to be appropriate for her rather than what we might like.  If we buy anything for her - new clothes, replace her bedlinen (a regular necessity) we use our credit card (cashback!) and then transfer the exact same amount from her bank account.  OH is joint on a couple of her accounts and I have third party authority on the main one for her bills.

We have a paid carer come for 4 hours each week to help with personal care and she pays for that.  This is a big relief for me as the carer helps MiL in the shower (I have done this in the past but got tired of the arguments which don't happen with the carers), and also ensures that her living space in our home is clean and tidy.  Also assists by checking and letting us know if there are any bruises, sores or other issues hidden by normal clothing.  It's a massive relief for my OH as it's a day off.  I WFH that day so can handle any issues or questions with the carer.  The cost of this is paid directly from MiL's bank account.

What we haven't done (foolishly) is get a POA of any sort in place.  I know we must do so, and sooner rather than later.  And we need to do the same for us and get wills sorted too.  MiL has a reciprocal will written when FiL was still alive which left everything to each other or OH is the other was already dead (as is now the case).  I'm not mentioned so again this is something I would like to sort out on the off chance that OH predeceases MiL.  

Sorry that's a lot of detail but it might reassure you about things that carers need to work through.   We've never been questioned about how we are handling MiL's situation but maybe that's because there is nothing in place. 

OH also did have a conversation with a sales chap at VW who suggested the Motability scheme for getting an appropriate car but as the only benefit she gets is AA (& state pension which isn't really a benefot) then I can't see that she's eligible.  I think the sales chap was just seeing £££ and not really considering all the details.

securityguy

Sea_Shell said:

Can it even be considered deprivation of assets if your underlying assets remain untouched and you are only spending your income?  Especially if this income is from State Pension plus any Defined Benefit (final salary) pension that's not considered your personal asset "pot"?  It's "new" money.

There is no DoA issue for income.  The whole point is "assets".  I can imagine in the future as the cohort with draw-down pensions start to approach the need for care there will need to be a more nuanced definition, but today almost all older pensioners' incomes will be a mixture of state, DB and annuities purchased with DC pots.

It would be absolute madness were incomes to be considered in DoA calculations.  It would mean that splitting a holiday with your children could be regarded, five years later, as DoA.