Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mother-in-law pay to clean up after her dog?

Peapod63

I seriously can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t offer to pay even if they are a family member (and then you could politely decline if you wanted). But I wouldn’t have the dog in the house again - it’s your house therefore your rules. If you didn’t smoke you wouldn’t let her smoke in your house would you - so why put up with a dog? (unless you too have a dog that 💩 on the carpet ….)

Groom

I think a lot depends how much mess the dog actually made. Perhaps your mother in law didn't realise that you would go to the expense of calling in professionals if it was something that could have been dealt with at the time. It's also odd that she didn't offer to clear up after her dog, most responsible dog owner would have done - did she just walk out and leave it? 

Doddie1

Dog owners are now expected to clean up after their dogs in public places so i don't see why the MIL shouldn't have at least attempted to clean up after the dog in someone elses house... if the mess was so bad that it required professional cleaning then absolutely the MIL should have offered to pay the cost.

The 'moral dilema' here appears to be that the MIL did not offer anything, or try to clean up the dog mess, so absolutely she should be asked to contribute towards the mess her dog made.

If she isn't willing to take responsibilty for an animal under her control, then quite frankly she shouldn't be allowed to have a pet.

Marcon

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mother-in-law came over with her new dog, which proceeded to defecate all over our carpet. We have called in professional carpet cleaners to get it sorted - but should we ask for some money towards the bill?

Really? What's the dog - a Great Dane with diarrhoea? Sounds a huge over-reaction; why didn't someone shove the dog outside once it became obvious what it had in mind?

Get your spouse to deal with the question of payment - it's their mother, not yours.

NowVillager

Is it so bad you really can't clean it yourselves but it's not covered by your insurance, you can't afford the expense and weren't able to find any middle way, such as hiring a steam cleaner? If so, it's reasonable to ask but it should be your other half who does that, not you. If it were me, I'd briefly make clear that it cost money to clean, without making a fuss about it. There might come a time when you're glad she's in your debt!

keithyno.1

I sense an on-going grievance with the mother-in-law here, and this occurrence is just the latest instalment of it. I feel sorry for your other half, who’s obviously the ‘piggy in the middle,’ so to speak. 

Look, your mother-in-law didn’t intend for her visit to result in your carpet being soiled, I’m sure. Accidents happen, especially with animals. Deal with it, get your carpet cleaned without asking for a contribution towards the cost and just move on, for the sake of family harmony. You can’t put a monetary price on some things, and that’s one of them.

Pollycat

What did the M-I-L says when her dog defecated on the carpet?

I find it hard to believe that she didn't offer to pay for carpet cleaning straight away.

Vicxie said:

In my culture, a mother-in-law is essentially your mother, would you ask your mum to pay? Is the cleaning going to put you out so much that you have to ask her to pay or contriubute? Since you don't see her as your mum, can't your partner just pay for her? or does your partner also think their mum should be paying for the cleaning? If so, what a relationship....

In my culture, if you damage someone's property - even accidentally - you offer to pay for the damage.

Regardless of the relationship between you.

I agree it's not much of a relationship if your Mum or Mother in law lets her dog defecate on a carpet in someone else's home and doesn't offer to pay for the cleaning of the carpet.

pollypenny

'All over the carpet' sounds like more than one deposit.  

I'd be mortified and insist on paying for cleaning if it was my dog. Did she attempt to clean it up? 

However, she didn't offer to pay so you'll probably have to lump it. 

coffee_cake

If that were one of my dogs, I'd feel awful - apologise profusely and offer to cover any costs to clean it.

But what were the circumstances that this happened - was the dog unwell?  Not housetrained yet?  Did the MIL think it could be a possibility the dog would mess the house?  Or was it completely out of character (maybe a reaction of the strange house).

Though in any of the above - MIL should pay at least some, if not all of the costs IMHO.

mjandar8170

I would put this firmly in the hands of my mother-in-law's son/daughter to sort out - you keep out of it!