Funeral Compassionate Leave?

Marcon

maman said:

Marcon said

Dealing with bereavement is almost always tough, the more so when you feel that those around you don't understand how much the person meant to you.

But offended? Why? The request is reasonable and what's being proposed is standard practice for very many employers where the funeral is for someone other than your parent, sibling or child. You are clearly valued and needed at work and (dare I say it) helping others can often help to lift your own mood.

You are newly married, so hopefully your spouse will be a tower of strength.

I can understand why OP should feel offended. I expect he was hoping that his manager would show sufficient compassion to treat his request for a whole day for the funeral before the operational needs of the department. I'm assuming he doesn't make a habit of it and has given freely of his time for the past year or so. Surely a day isn't too much to ask? 🤔

Suggesting that OP 'should' feel offended is absurd. Disappointed perhaps, but suggesting they have some sort of right to take offence - really? Managers - especially in the NHS - can't always wear their hearts on their sleeve, however much they might prefer to do so. 

If you make an exception for one person, where do you draw the line when it's the NHS and we are still in a pandemic? 

Flugelhorn

I asked for leave (annual leave) to go to a funeral of an uncle, this was not only outside the usual allowances in the NHS but was also right in the middle of the "annual leave embargo" that covered the 2 weeks over Xmas and New Year. 

The problem was that I was one  of the closest relatives and with another cousin was organising the whole thing, we were administering the estate /  registering the death / sorting the house etc etc.  It wasn't so much an emotional thing as practical to arrange things on behalf of older relatives - it was also 100 + miles away 

I explained all this to the managers, offered to do a shift they were struggling to offload and got the relevant shifts off - point is  if it is explained and there are good reasons they can give the time.