Funeral Compassionate Leave?

Adamc

My long-suffering chronically-ill aunt has passed away and I was very close to her. I always gravitated to her when I had a problem as she had endured so much and was still kind and compassionate despite all the trials of her life. Work (NHS) have asked me to work the morning of the funeral and take the afternoon as annual leave as they are short staffed.

I feel a little offended. I thought they might have given compassionate leave or at least allowed me to take the whole day as annual leave as I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to work. I feel a little stressed and nauseous thinking about it. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I don't feel like going to work at all right now. 

tacticalbanjo

If you don't feel up to going to work and are feeling physically ill at the thought then do visit your GP and get signed off for a little while. This will give you time to process your grief and go back to work in the right frame of mind.

poppystar

Contact the occupational health department (may be part of HR) and explain how you feel. Rather than concentrating on just the funeral day tell them why you are understandably upset and how it may affect your work. They won’t be able to just ignore your approach if they feel it would adversely affect you and your work. Also as @tacticalbanjo says a consultation with your own GP would be good (if you can get one!) 

theoretica

I am sorry for your loss. 

I assume your bosses will be trying to balance the stress to you of being asked to work that morning with stress to colleagues (and maybe patients depending on what you do) of working without you.  Have you explained how very much you want the whole day off?

Alphatauri

I would check NHS policies as I am sure you would be entitled to one days compassionate leave. If you can find that then show your manager and explain it is unreasonable for them to refuse the full day as leave either compassionate or annual. 

In these situations managers apply unfair pressure to make their life easier. Just say no, I need and am entitled to the full day to allow me to process my grief and say a proper goodbye to my aunt. 

poppystar

Alphatauri said:

I would check NHS policies as I am sure you would be entitled to one days compassionate leave. If you can find that then show your manager and explain it is unreasonable for them to refuse the full day as leave either compassionate or annual. 

In these situations managers apply unfair pressure to make their life easier. Just say no, I need and am entitled to the full day to allow me to process my grief and say a proper goodbye to my aunt. 

There might not be an entitlement because the deceased isn’t a parent or child. I had similar issues on the death of grandparent - that wasn’t on the list. Not saying this is right just that any manager might be applying that criteria.

TBagpuss

I agree this may be down to having a rigid policy - an aunt may not be a close enough relation to trigger the compassionate leave policy. 

Is it possible for you to ask for the full day and explain that you don't feel you would be able to work effectively that day?

I don't know what, if any, discretion your own individual manager would have in this instance. I work in a small organisation which means we can be fairly flexible in how we apply our policies, but I think larger employers tend to have less individual flexibility, although they can often afford to have more generous policies over all. 

I am sorry for your loss

sheramber

There is no right to bereavement leave for a non dependent so it will depend on what your NHS Trust's policy is.

Similarly, there will be a policy of taking annual leave and the work situation.

If you are not there will somebody else have to be brought in to cover for you? How difficult is that with the current pressures on the NHS?

Did you explain  that you were close to your aunt.

My employer did not allow time off for grandparents but one employee explained she had been brought up by her grandmother and an exception was made.

Marcon

Adamc said:

My long-suffering chronically-ill aunt has passed away and I was very close to her. I always gravitated to her when I had a problem as she had endured so much and was still kind and compassionate despite all the trials of her life. Work (NHS) have asked me to work the morning of the funeral and take the afternoon as annual leave as they are short staffed.

I feel a little offended. I thought they might have given compassionate leave or at least allowed me to take the whole day as annual leave as I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to work. I feel a little stressed and nauseous thinking about it. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I don't feel like going to work at all right now. 

Dealing with bereavement is almost always tough, the more so when you feel that those around you don't understand how much the person meant to you.

But offended? Why? The request is reasonable and what's being proposed is standard practice for very many employers where the funeral is for someone other than your parent, sibling or child. You are clearly valued and needed at work and (dare I say it) helping others can often help to lift your own mood.

You are newly married, so hopefully your spouse will be a tower of strength.

maman

Marcon said

Dealing with bereavement is almost always tough, the more so when you feel that those around you don't understand how much the person meant to you.

But offended? Why? The request is reasonable and what's being proposed is standard practice for very many employers where the funeral is for someone other than your parent, sibling or child. You are clearly valued and needed at work and (dare I say it) helping others can often help to lift your own mood.

You are newly married, so hopefully your spouse will be a tower of strength.

I can understand why OP should feel offended. I expect he was hoping that his manager would show sufficient compassion to treat his request for a whole day for the funeral before the operational needs of the department. I'm assuming he doesn't make a habit of it and has given freely of his time for the past year or so. Surely a day isn't too much to ask? 🤔

I worked in education and we also had the rules about close relatives but I was able to, and often did, exercise discretion and made exceptions in some cases. It's about knowing and valuing staff.

Incidentally, if I was being cynical, it's also good management practice to earn some brownie points. 

sheramber

It's about knowing and valuing staff.

The OP's employer may not have the same regard for him  as you had for your employee.

Previous absence from work this year may be influencing the decision.

We are only getting one side of the story.