Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my daughter to share her Child Trust Fund with her siblings?

JayW90

I think the most important thing is to make sure they all know that they are equally loved, even though life may not result in them having exactly the same amount of money. 

Poquito

blagoslovljena said:

And to be honest, we actually thought the CTFs weren’t necessarily the most well thought out idea that the government at the time had ever had, because many 18 year olds don’t have the maturity

I think that we can be tempted to underestimate our children, and that much of the way they view the issue is built around how we talk to them about it. If we explain how the CTFs were set up, that they benefited some and not others, and that their payout will provide them with an opportunity to correct the unfairness of the CTF system, we might well be pleasantly surprised at their response.

I must admit I was pretty disappointed with this response in general but these particular parts stood out.

when will parents take responsibility for the financial education of their children! It is not the government’s fault if someone’s 18yr old cannot handle money! The parents are supposed to instill these values! Also it is not actually fair to make your eldest responsible for your shortcomings. If you need the free money from the government to save and haven’t saved for any of your other children that’s actually a reflection on you. It’s less that £14 per YEAR from birth to 18 per child to save £250 (£0 interest). You expect us to believe this was too much to do. 

As a parent I believe we should raise our children to make good decisions not make the  decisions for them once they are adults!

Yestin19

NO, NO.
By good fortune the one child qualified and the money belongs to them. The responsibility of financial provision for the other three belongs completely with the parent, not the particular child with a CTF. It is important NOT to transfer parental responsibilities onto one child or another. 

confused.com2

I'd absolutely have been saving so all my children had equal amounts at 18. A few quid a month is surely doable?

GeordieGeorge

confused.com2 said:

I'd absolutely have been saving so all my children had equal amounts at 18. A few quid a month is surely doable?

You’d think so, wouldn’t you, but for some people a nice phone or a night out comes before trying to put something aside for their children.

AstonSimon

When she turns 18, should I tell her the money is all hers to do with as she pleases, or ask if she'll consider sharing it with my other three children, as they don't have their own Child Trust Funds?

No. And No. It's none of your business. The government will presumably tell your daughter that it is her money.  And interfering in your children's lives once they're grown up will only cause resentment. I know. I'm in my 50s, and my parents still try to micromanage my life on a regular basis.

harsxx

My first born got her child trust fund money last year. She had to write a letter herself and sign it to say she wanted to withdraw the money. I did contribute to the trust fund over the years when I could and she had nearly 2k when she withdrew it. I tried to advise her that she should do something worth while with the money like driving lessons or saving it however she wouldnt listen to me and all I got was ' it's my money, I can do what I want with it' . I thought fair enough.She spent the whole lot on clothes and makeup.  I have also saved for my other children and hopefully they will come out with a similar amount as her and hopefully they will be a bit more sensible with theirs .

bobbins13

🤦‍♀️ The money is hers. It is in her name, intended for her, by the government, and her NI has been linked to it since birth (see her Reference on her acct letters). My second child didn't qualify as born in Feb 2011 so I opened an ISA for her and put money in when I can, though its tough as a single parent with a chronic illness on a part-time low income...(so could be done) But it feels like the right thing to do as ultimately any tax credit benefits I receive from the govt are tantamount the same thing, ie for the benefit of my child.

If your employer gave you a bonus and told you how you had to spend it, the only example I can think of, (or the Lottery Commission, for example) how would you feel? 🤔

It's not your daughters fault the government changed the rules or that she has three siblings. My son has nearly £4k in his CTF with two years still to go and I can't wait to see his face when he gets it because he has gone without a lot through my own circumstances and choices. 

Good luck and whatever you choose to do, I hope it works out for everyone.

MamaMicah

We also have four children, only one of whom qualified for a CTF. For the other three, we invested £5 a month in a separate ISA until the equivalent value had been reached. Although this has always been in my name, I have been open with them that it is money set aside for them. Now that two of them are adults,  we regularly have discussions about what they want to do with the shares and when they want to access the money. Whilst it doesn’t have the same legal weight - it is an ISA in my name - we have tried to create equity. 

Ultimately though, life isn’t fair, this was a relatively short lived ‘gimmick’ and children who missed out, missed out. That in itself is a life lesson. We simply used it as an example of how effective  investing a relatively small amount of money over the long term can be. The older two are now 21 and 19 and the money we invested in their behalf is worth £3.5k. 

Spendless

I was also in this position but with my 2 but it's my older one who didn't qualify. When they were both young, I set up savings accounts for them both plus the CTF. I put the eqiv amount in eldest's and then contributed to both the savings accounts. The CTF I never added to. At the time I was doing this, there were several wayward teenagers in the family which made me cautious about adding to something I had no control over later on. DS took his savings to Uni with him and it subsidised him for his first year or so there. 

I wouldn't ask your daughter to share the money, it's hers. I would start savings plans for your younger children though.