Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my daughter to share her Child Trust Fund with her siblings?

sassygal514

gloriouslyhappy said:

Sheepster said:

I had one of these for mine when she turned 20 (the way the anniversary worked out).
The thing is when they turn 18 the finance company will ONLY deal with them and not you. It’s no longer up to the parent and unfortunately perhaps the contributor can’t do squat about what they do with THEIR money.

Rather unfortunate for me, after years of putting that money in, in the end it was pretty much stolen by her waste of space oxygen thief boyfriend. 

I don't have children of my own but have step-grandchildren and great-nephews and -nieces. I thought about the lack of control over savings if put in the chid's name, and opted to open individual accounts in my name with the child's name as reference. This turned out to be a smart move as two have turned out to be useless, whining spoilt brats who fritter away anything given them in the expectation - usually correct - of doting parents giving more, and never say thank you or offer to do so much as wash a dish around the house. The others are pleasant polite young people I'm happy to spend time with, and when it's time for uni or buying that first car, will receive a substantial contribution from me. The other two will also benefit, but never in cash, as it will just be frittered away.

I imagine some people will disagree with me, but it's my money saved over the years, and I don't intend for it to be thrown away on frivolous purchases which would be soon discarded, or spent on drunken binges as I've witnessed myself. That money is meant to be a hand up when starting out, an unexpected bonus, so I'm keeping control of it. None of the children or their parents know about this, BTW.

I don’t disagree with you but it was not possible to do this with child trust funds they are in the child’s name and have to be.  But if you didn’t add to them over the years they don’t really do much so it’s only going to be a few hundred pounds.  

I think you have taken a sensible approach, it sounds like some of the children you saved for wouldn’t have been at all grateful if you had given them money anyway!!

sassygal514

I have four children, but only one has a Child Trust Fund - she was the only one born when the Government was offering them with a £250 contribution from the state. When she turns 18, should I tell her the money is all hers to do with as she pleases, or ask if she'll consider sharing it with my other three children, as they don't have their own Child Trust Funds?

It’s not her fault she was born when this was offered and her siblings weren’t.  I’m afraid once she turns 18 you will have absolutely no control over that account and no right to ‘tell’ her what she can or can’t do with it.  If I were your daughter I’d be pretty annoyed you had even suggested it.  It’s hers, let her do as she pleases.  What you should be doing is saving up the same amount for the other 3 children as well, then they will have the same amount and it’s all fair and square.  

Yvonne12081971

What you should have done is set up trust funds for you other siblings too.

I did when mine were born.  My oldest now 13 got the full £250 and my youngest now 10 got only the £50 which I topped up to the £250.  

I now pay in £50 each every month and the intention is that when they need to buy their first homes they will have a useful deposit to lay down on them.

That I thought was the fairest way to do this and give them something valuable when they will obviously need it.

paulk3

My answer is NO
what you should do is,set up an ISA for each child.
I have two grand children who were lucky enough to have had £250.00 each.
I manage the CTF for them.
I invested all £250. for each,in LEGAL&GENERAL SHARES AND AM SHOWING THE £250.00 IS NOW WORTH OVER £1200 !
L&G pay ,dividends twice a year and I have set it up to reinvest these dividends.
I aim to pay in money for them and add funds for them.These shares will go higher over the years and by reinvesting the divis it will compound,giving them more shares each 6 months,with divis in divis.
No use expecting growth on cash only,you need to buy a good share.You can not go wrong with L&G the ticker code for L&G is
LGEN  WE BOUGHT SOME MORE L&G for them too and now worth over £3000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blagoslovljena

I have four children. The eldest, now 14 got the £500 CTF, my 10 year old received the £50 one, and my 8 and 7 year olds got nothing.

Having four kids and one income (I have been homeschooling my kids for ten years and my husband is the only one in employment) we just couldn’t afford to provide my younger three with the same as my eldest got in her CTF. And to be honest, we actually thought the CTFs weren’t necessarily the most well thought out idea that the government at the time had ever had, because many 18 year olds don’t have the maturity to use a lump sum wisely.

A couple of years ago I had a chat to my now 14 year old about her fund, and told her that her younger siblings hadn’t benefited from the scheme in the same way. I suggested that when she turns 18 it would be good if she could share the money, and that I would also suggest to her younger brother (who had the £50 fund) that it would be nice if he could do the same. 

She was very keen to do this as she has a strong sense of fairness and a deep love for her siblings, who she also sees as friends. She is now four years away from receiving the payout, and I have no doubt that she will stick with her intentions regarding this. My son’s character is such that I fully expect that he will want to do exactly the same when he finds out about his much smaller fund.

I think that we can be tempted to underestimate our children, and that much of the way they view the issue is built around how we talk to them about it. If we explain how the CTFs were set up, that they benefited some and not others, and that their payout will provide them with an opportunity to correct the unfairness of the CTF system, we might well be pleasantly surprised at their response.

RickyAH

I had a similar issue many years ago with my family. Money was put into bank accounts in the three boys names, the eldest got his girlfriend pregnant, as you do, and had his money. The second son got married as normal, and got his money, The third son was unlucky as the parents divorced and the money disappeared, along with the mother. I never saw a penny!

JayD

It's HER money - even if she doesn't know it yet - and she can do as she wishes with it. If you really want things to be fair, then match the amount she will get for the other three children. Just a little put by each month in a savings account will soon add up. TBH I am a little baffled as to why you didn't do that sooner anyway.

Jeaniej9

I’ve got 4 children too, my last two got the trust fund from government.  My youngest got more as my husband had a bad motor vehicle accident and was unable to work for a few months when they were born, they got double as we were receiving incapacity benefit. Also youngest trust is doing much better than their sibling.  I paid for my two oldest to learn to drive and I will give the difference to the third born when the time comes. It’s all swings and roundabouts.

8Lecayla

My eldest was born the year before this was brought in, my youngest won't get as much as the middle one who received his last year. We put a lump sum in an account for the eldest, although it was a couple of hundred less than her brother got and just a bit less than her younger sister gets next year. I would never have dreamt of telling my son he was to give his sisters something to make it fair! 

Rowellworld79

You can ask her but not tell her. Rather than ask her to give to others why not create something for the other siblings. You don't need a contribution from the state you do these things!