Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my daughter to share her Child Trust Fund with her siblings?

Garethwats

It’s your daughters money and hers to do with what she wants to, maybe you could match it for the other children, I know I would somehow and I am on the sick but I would do it somehow.

Fliss_M

I literally have this same. And no I would not suggest it at all.
I have opened stocks and shares ISA's for the following 3 with £250. Not easy but they have all had the same opportunity.
One issue is the eldest was in a car accident before the others were born so got a 1k boost. I can't match that. But then again, that's life

Krista1977

Absolutely not - the children are your responsibility and not hers. If you want them all to be the same, then you save for the others. If there is an age gap, tell the others they will get the same at her age, and start saving x

CDH1758

From the contents of your post, it seems you have not topped up your daughter's CTF or saved any other money for her siblings. The guilt falls on you not her. Let her have all the money.

REJP

It will be her money.  She might already have decided what to do with it.  She is not responsible for the fact her siblings missed out on the Government Grant.  What will happen if she gives some to her siblings, and one of them goes on to win a sum of money on the lottery?   Will she expect a share of that?  Don’t guilt trip her about it, you could end up losing her.

gloriouslyhappy

Sheepster said:

I had one of these for mine when she turned 20 (the way the anniversary worked out).
The thing is when they turn 18 the finance company will ONLY deal with them and not you. It’s no longer up to the parent and unfortunately perhaps the contributor can’t do squat about what they do with THEIR money.

Rather unfortunate for me, after years of putting that money in, in the end it was pretty much stolen by her waste of space oxygen thief boyfriend. 

I don't have children of my own but have step-grandchildren and great-nephews and -nieces. I thought about the lack of control over savings if put in the chid's name, and opted to open individual accounts in my name with the child's name as reference. This turned out to be a smart move as two have turned out to be useless, whining spoilt brats who fritter away anything given them in the expectation - usually correct - of doting parents giving more, and never say thank you or offer to do so much as wash a dish around the house. The others are pleasant polite young people I'm happy to spend time with, and when it's time for uni or buying that first car, will receive a substantial contribution from me. The other two will also benefit, but never in cash, as it will just be frittered away.

I imagine some people will disagree with me, but it's my money saved over the years, and I don't intend for it to be thrown away on frivolous purchases which would be soon discarded, or spent on drunken binges as I've witnessed myself. That money is meant to be a hand up when starting out, an unexpected bonus, so I'm keeping control of it. None of the children or their parents know about this, BTW.

Bennifred1

I would not expect the eldest to share, but would ensure that the younger siblings received the same sum when they reach eighteen. 

gothvixen

mor_2 said:

I see it as the child's money but we, as parents, have to approve how it is used. After all, we put the money in!!!
Our son had a savings policy which we built up for him and it paid out at 18. He agreed with us to use it for a deposit for uni halls accomodation, for 3 weeks inter railing after 6th year, a laptop for uni  etc.
Our daughter will get her CTF in Febryary and understands that this money has a purpose. It's not hers to do squander and we will discuss and agree how she will use it just as her brother did.

I see it as the child's money, but I as parent, wouldn't dream of telling my adult child what they can or cannot do with their money. If I wanted to dictate I would have saved the money myself then offered it with conditions. After all, I'm not a controlling parent!!! I speak to and discuss matters with my sons but would never be intrusive and try to run their lives for them.

newkitchenfund

mor_2 said:

I see it as the child's money but we, as parents, have to approve how it is used. After all, we put the money in!!!
Our son had a savings policy which we built up for him and it paid out at 18. He agreed with us to use it for a deposit for uni halls accomodation, for 3 weeks inter railing after 6th year, a laptop for uni  etc.
Our daughter will get her CTF in Febryary and understands that this money has a purpose. It's not hers to do squander and we will discuss and agree how she will use it just as her brother did.

Legally, once your child turns 18 the money is theirs to do what they want. Parents cannot insist on approving their decisions, no matter how foolish they are. The reason for this is that Child Trust Funds (and now Junior ISAs) have substantial tax benefits. If the money invested were to stay within the parents' control, it's effectively giving them an extra tax break.
Of course, many parents do continue to help their children financially post-18, and indeed the student finance system is set up to imply that they should, but any financial obligation ceases once they are adults. If your grown-up child squanders their savings or gets into huge amounts of debt it's their responsibility alone. 

CapeTown

gloriouslyhappy said:

Sheepster said:

I had one of these for mine when she turned 20 (the way the anniversary worked out).
The thing is when they turn 18 the finance company will ONLY deal with them and not you. It’s no longer up to the parent and unfortunately perhaps the contributor can’t do squat about what they do with THEIR money.

Rather unfortunate for me, after years of putting that money in, in the end it was pretty much stolen by her waste of space oxygen thief boyfriend. 

I don't have children of my own but have step-grandchildren and great-nephews and -nieces. I thought about the lack of control over savings if put in the chid's name, and opted to open individual accounts in my name with the child's name as reference. This turned out to be a smart move as two have turned out to be useless, whining spoilt brats who fritter away anything given them in the expectation - usually correct - of doting parents giving more, and never say thank you or offer to do so much as wash a dish around the house. The others are pleasant polite young people I'm happy to spend time with, and when it's time for uni or buying that first car, will receive a substantial contribution from me. The other two will also benefit, but never in cash, as it will just be frittered away.

I imagine some people will disagree with me, but it's my money saved over the years, and I don't intend for it to be thrown away on frivolous purchases which would be soon discarded, or spent on drunken binges as I've witnessed myself. That money is meant to be a hand up when starting out, an unexpected bonus, so I'm keeping control of it. None of the children or their parents know about this, BTW.

One of them will twig .....probably one of the brats..... That you are treating some better than others and you will become the big bad wolf. I don't disagree with you but maybe you should tell the parents that rudeness and laziness means they get diddly squat. I have the same with my stepdaughter.  She is rude and ungrateful so I told he dad ,....my husband ...that she was getting no more from me until her behaviour improved. Still waiting.