Hazelnutty's recover and rebuild plan for a happier, simpler life!

Hi all!

Just before lockdown, I moved with my OH and DD to a new city and a fresh start - partly to be close to an amazing hospital which OH needs for a lifelong condition, partly as DD's Dad lives there so it brings the family closer and partly to be a more diverse, interesting place with more going on. We've had a rough couple of years with major surgeries for OH and lots of upheaval for DD but it finally feels as if we have the chance for a better quality of life :)

The downside is that the move has had a major impact on my finances. I'm the sole earner in the household. Property in the new city is waaaay more expensive than the old town so we've got a much smaller house (which is fine - it's more 'us' scale) but it cost the same as the old one (we moved just before the stamp duty holiday too) and it has needed a *lot* of work. It's taken all the time since we moved to get the project mostly, liveably done but along the way we uncovered all kinds of unexpected issues that had to be fixed. I've ended up in an eye-watering of debt to my mum, who's been incredibly generous and understanding, but has since changed the goalposts to wanting higher monthly repayments and even mentioning my remortgaging, which really scared me as I'm already mid-40s and paying the mortgage alone. I also have around £6k on a 0% M&S credit card (until next May), which I used to help spread the cost of materials. 

I'm starting this diary to help me along the way to getting my finances on a more even keel and building a happy life as a family. It's definitely been the right move but it feels there's still lots to do, mentally, physically and financially to get us sorted. I'm hoping for some accountability, some support and some laughs along the way from you lovely lot!

I'll post up my current plan in another post, but for now, that's my story and hope some of you will join me on the journey!

Love, HN
Choose kind:)
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Comments

  • Good luck on your journey! 
  • Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty Posts: 720 Forumite
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    Good luck on your journey! 
    Thanks, DD&GW! It feels really daunting as I'm the sole earner. When I was married to DD's Dad, he earned quite a bit more than me (private sector vs education for you!) so there was always that sharing of responsibility. Now I'm keeping a family of 3 (+ 2 cats!) afloat on my own.
    Choose kind:)
  • foxgloves
    foxgloves Posts: 11,073 Forumite
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    Good luck with your plans @Hazelnutty. As an ex-fritterer of money (I am now a reformed halo-wearing character!), I know that it is possible to save so many little bits of money on a huge range of everyday things.....it's just a case of ensuring that all those savings do end up being targeted firmly in the direction of the debts as frequent small overpayments really do make a difference.
    We no longer have any debt (it was around 35K at its worse plus mortgage) but I still frequent MSE debt-free boards as the discussions keep me focused. I'm finding that the exact same positive money habits that got us debt-free (I was in debt from the age of 19 to my mid-40s!) are now helping to build useful savings. Having a diary will help you to focus, I'm sure.
    F


    "For each of our actions there are only consequences" (James Lovelock)"For in the true nature of things......every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold & silver" (Martin Luther King Jnr)
  • Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty Posts: 720 Forumite
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    Today's been a good day :) I submitted my promotion application to my manager and OH took me out for lunch (a NSD day for me). We go to a charity cafe on a local NHS site and it's the best simple home-made food. We got takeway cakes and had them with DD when she got back from school. I've loved the side of WFH of being able to break off work when she gets home to have a chat and a cuppa with her.

    Nothing much planned for the weekend. I've got the last run in my training programme tomorrow morning (it's early doors in my getting back into it so quite a short one) and some decluttering targets in my sights, which I'll do while DD has an online lesson (her Dad pays for French lessons as his fiancee is French and they usually travel regularly to visit family). Sunday we were going to do another boot sale to clear the last few bits of clutter but we're all too tired for the 6am start! Taking DD swimming instead and then my Dad's visiting for the first time since our move. My Dad and his wife both have underlying conditions and I've really missed him during the pandemic.

    Happily sitting with a GnT right now though. I love Friday evenings!
    Choose kind:)
  • Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty Posts: 720 Forumite
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    edited 25 June 2021 at 6:22PM
    foxgloves said:
    Good luck with your plans @Hazelnutty. As an ex-fritterer of money (I am now a reformed halo-wearing character!), I know that it is possible to save so many little bits of money on a huge range of everyday things.....it's just a case of ensuring that all those savings do end up being targeted firmly in the direction of the debts as frequent small overpayments really do make a difference.
    We no longer have any debt (it was around 35K at its worse plus mortgage) but I still frequent MSE debt-free boards as the discussions keep me focused. I'm finding that the exact same positive money habits that got us debt-free (I was in debt from the age of 19 to my mid-40s!) are now helping to build useful savings. Having a diary will help you to focus, I'm sure.
    F


    Thanks, @foxgloves What were the best lessons/habits you learned do you think? 
    Choose kind:)
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,206 Forumite
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    I am also the sole breadwinner after my OH became ill, he now has related ongoing health issues and unable to work. Good luck with your plans, I’ve found keeping a diary on here has been a lifesaver. 
    Christmas Savings 2024 £252.38/£600 April NSD:2 April Surveys £
  • Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty Posts: 720 Forumite
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    I am also the sole breadwinner after my OH became ill, he now has related ongoing health issues and unable to work. Good luck with your plans, I’ve found keeping a diary on here has been a lifesaver. 
    Thanks, @Sun_Addict that's what I'm hoping. It feels like a long road ahead but if the diary can keep me focused and motivated that'll be great. I work long hours so don't have capacity for additional income, but am hoping OH will be able to pick up some part-time work maybe from the Autumn. We just don't know yet what's possible.

    DD went out with her friend who lives next door, turns out they somehow managed to pull off a half n half hair dye job (bright pink/black) in the middle of a field using kit they'd brought with them :lol: Have to say, it looks sharp but I do sometimes wonder how and what the hell!
    Choose kind:)
  • Welcome! Glad to see someone else loves using virtual pots as much as I do! I've got 14 on the go at the minute. I find it the best way to ensure I don't fritter away money meant for something else and to put aside cash for direct debits, anticipated spends, etc.

    Best of luck! 
    Deposit ✅ 
    Stamp duty ✅
    Fixtures, fittings and DIY - getting there!

    Exact figures after house purchase is completed.

    Currently just trying to get back into good habits on spending. 
  • Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty Posts: 720 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    Welcome! Glad to see someone else loves using virtual pots as much as I do! I've got 14 on the go at the minute. I find it the best way to ensure I don't fritter away money meant for something else and to put aside cash for direct debits, anticipated spends, etc.

    Best of luck! 
    Thanks @WatchedByOwls (I *love* your handle!) I do love a spreadsheet! I've also found it reduces stress as I know there's at least something in the pot if I need to buy DD some uniform or the car needs a service. I'm hoping by middle of next year I can start funding the pots properly.

    Today's goals:
    • Scheduled run tick! 
    • Clear out car [leftovers from car boot a couple of weeks ago but tbh there's also stuff from when we had to move out of the house temporarily for structural work. Now I've realised I can't replace my beloved Polo with an electric, I feel I need to invest a bit in the old girl. A clear out and clean will help :smil:smile: 
    • Clear off the dumping chair in our bedroom [relic of having to empty to downstairs during building work and live among boxes upstairs. This poor chair is still covered in clutter. Sorting it out will make me feel better]
    • NUSD [No Unbudgeted Spend Day: basically an NSD, only spends have to be covered by a pot. I want to get some clear rubber casters for my home office chair so I can ditch the nasty chair mat. It gathers dust and is generally nasty. And some boxes to organise our new understairs cupboard]
    Payday is Monday: can't wait to shuffle everything around and see where I am.
    Choose kind:)
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