Misreading the signs

Topanga

If only it were that simple NAR. Somehow I think if I get a Christmas kiss this year it won't be with the girl I want

windowshopper100

Hi - I'm not too late am I?

I agree with leftiM - It does rather sound as if she's having her cake and eating it! But it's not fair on you if she's obviously enjoying your attention, not seeming to want to take it further by saying that stuff about 'special friends' and then getting shirty when you take out other girls.

Sounds like you've been massaging her ego (and she's been letting you) as well as her feet.

You sound a lovely, lovely bloke - are you sure you're not gay? only joking.

Get it cleared up, you'll feel a lot better for it and learnt a bit more about people (you and her) along the way.

Sorry, I don't mean for that last bit to sound patronising, but you may as well make this a learning experience and then you've gained something from it.
WS100

Topanga

No you aren't too late WS100, in answer to you, no I'm not gay and yes I am a lovely, lovely bloke . In fairness to her, yes I think she enjoys the closeness we have but so do I and maybe she feels can't go any further because of things in the past. She really is a lovely honest person and I think think the world of her and if friends is all she can offer me then I will take that.

bluebell13

I don't think you have mis-read any signs. It sounds to me that she is scared - maybe of another relationship, or more likely that she will lose a very special friend if it all goes wrong. If you are as patient as you sound then bide your time. Things have a way of working out.

windowshopper100

Where were you in 1987 when I was looking.... probably not conceived or in nappies.... but that's another thread...

It just goes to show that we can all come on here and say, 'sort it out', and obviously we'd be right:D , but only you know if you're genuinely happy with things - OK we know you're not 'happy' happy otherwise you wouldn't have posted but you know what I mean - in that:

1. You obviously know her better than we do and think very highly of her
2. You certainly know more than us about her past situations
3. You can take things at her pace, even if that means just friends
4. You too get something out of this relationship - it's allowed y'know
5. You're sure in your heart that she's not out to hurt - cos it should'nt happen to lovely, lovely blokes

... then carry on (as if you needed permission:rolleyes: ). You'll know if there's a change in her (or you) that means you change course by taking things further or drawing a line under it all. After all you've got a good idea now about how other people view signals!:o

It's sometimes good not to rush actions and to see how the story ends, or at least what happens in the next chapter. Whatever happens, all the best but don't pine too much over Christmas.

WS100

Edit: Yeah...... what Bluebell said in 2 sentences.... I do go on, apologies all.

hobo28

I think all women have that bloke whom she is "just good friends" with. Don't end up in that camp!

Tell her that you have enough friends! Let her realise its time to make a choice. Sounds harsh but whats the alternative? Being "just good friends" when you want more? Having to listen to her moan about how her latest man is a pig or what he's done/not done? Been there, done it. Got the T-Shirt. Don't do it! Don't be that bloke. Hurts like !!!!!!y.

seven-day-weekend

Women imho don't have blokes massage their legs unless they either want more or just want to keep them dangling on a string and dancing to their tune.

If you are both single, you need to find out once and for all where you stand.

If she's all for carrying on, then go for it.

If she just wants 'friends' then don't massage her legs any more, this will keep you sexually connected.

Just mho of course.

emsywoo123

Hugs OP, I thought it was just me that gets confused!!