Can a school go through a kids phone?

pjcox2005

Appreciate sensitive subject, personally:
- Headteacher going through phone and sending messages particularly without speaking to parents first is wrong and inappropriate. A light complaint should be raised saying that whilst they support the intention of protecting someone bullied, they should be more careful on approach. I would not let your daughter know you have complained as that weakens your message to her on points below.
- Personally a private conversation between two friends (in isolation i.e. nothing else happening) saying you don't like someone or a personality trait of someone is not bullying. You can't like everyone you come across in life, but I would suggest sitting down and reminding your daughter that it's still not kind, doesn't serve any real purpose to gossip and would be better off not getting involved in these things. The whole "if you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything" approach but she may have learnt that lesson by being caught up in it now.
- I'd probably have a stronger word about the group chat. It's not easy standing up to peers, but I think this should be the main focus on was it right to say nothing, what could be done in future either standing up or passing information to someone else who can help. They haven't necessarily done something wrong, but the important point is they haven't done it right either and that's the actions you're trying to change in case there is a next time.

TBagpuss

My view is that, unless there is an explicit school policy permitting this, the head teacher should not have done it, and certainly should not have sent messages from your daughter's phone. It's complicated by the fact that your child did give permission but I think that given the power difference between a child and headteacher there are questions as to whether that can be seen as genuine consent. 

I appreciate that they may well have wished to look into it and to try to ensure that messages were not deleted - but it would have been better to have confiscated the phone and then contacted you, to ask your permission 

That said, I think the commenters pointing out that your daughter was involved in bullying and that the school was trying to deal with that is also very relevant, and should be the part you focus on *first* with your child , and talk to them about how they should have responded (e.g. speaking up in the chat in the moment, speaking to you or a trusted teacher about what was happening if they didn't feel able to challenge the other bullies at the time etc.)

I think that provided you do that first, it would not be unreasonable to speak to the school to voice your concerns about their going through her phone without first speaking to a parent and about then using it.

TWIGLET1234

Hi All
Thanks for the comments. I did in fact attend two meetings at the school regarding the matter and was fully supportive of the points made on bullying. Like many parents, I hate bullying and my children have never bullied anyone.  I then asked my daughter to write an email apologising to the victim but told her not to assume she’ll get a response or forgiveness. She has herself been a victim of online bullying so she does know very well how it feels. She now has taken on a “no negative comments” approach and has promised she’ll only speak positively in messages from now on. I think one of the issues is that the victim was in fact a past bully of my daughter, and so I guess she didn’t feel right standing up for her. The school did praise her for not making any horrible remarks in the group chat. 

So as I said, at the meetings I was fully supportive and agreeable with the schools stance. I however, am unsure if it’s correct that the head  should be using her phone the way he has (and keeping it overnight) There are numerous texts between myself and my daughter too. Whilst they are completely innocent and consist of things like “dinners ready”, I don’t think I feel comfortable in him having access to that! So was just trying to establish the legalities for the future. I also think sending messages out to her friends could have put her in an awkward situation. I likely won’t even complain as really want to try and move on from the mess! 

GeordieGeorge

TWIGLET1234 said:

My daughter aged 11 had to hand over her phone and give her passcode as she’d been in a group chat involving bullying. Luckily she wasn’t a bully but was a member of the chat and the school wanted to screen grab the messages. She willingly gave the phone but the school obviously looked through all her past  messages, found some between her friends from last week basically commenting on the attention seeking behaviour of a pupil in their class (the victim of the initial investigation) and she’s been disciplined for that particular chat. The victim was not in that chat or saw the messages (so let’s say they were talking behind her back rather than bullying to her face) 

The head teacher even sent messages from my daughters discord account to her friends who were self isolating, telling them to get off discord and do their home learning when he had it which I think is a bit of line in all honesty. I wonder what else he’s gone though on her phone!! 

They can, they did, and they were right to do so.
You should have stopped your daughter’s behaviour before it got to this point, and you must definitely should not be looking to find fault with the school here.
I’d suggest that you have a think about what’s gone wrong that your daughter is a bully, and work to turn things around.
A thank-you ether to the school would likely be a good idea, and I really hope that you’ve not suggested to your daughter that the school was wrong here.

GeordieGeorge

CookieMonster said:

TWIGLET1234 said:

My daughter aged 11 had to hand over her phone and give her passcode ...

The head teacher even sent messages from my daughters discord account to her friends who were self isolating, telling them to get off discord and do their home learning when he had it which I think is a bit of line in all honesty. I wonder what else he’s gone though on her phone!! 

To answer your question:
I don't believe that he had the right to go through her phone - would you let him go through yours simply if you were on 'school property' with your mobile in your pocket?
There might be something in the school policy about it, ask to see their justification.
Complain.
Or perhaps, go to the school and demand that the headmaster hands you his phone and his passcode, then message his friends.
And tell your child to refuse next time: they can contact you if necessary.

I would hope that the school would exclude a pupil who did this. 

GeordieGeorge

TWIGLET1234 said:

Hi All
Thanks for the comments. I did in fact attend two meetings at the school regarding the matter and was fully supportive of the points made on bullying. Like many parents, I hate bullying and my children have never bullied anyone.  

That’s not right, as in your original post she was involved in online bullying.

Spendless

Coming from a slightly different angle here because I have a teenage daughter who became very ill when a school cared about some policies and not at all about others (and yes, she too was a victim of bullying). I think separate the issues. I definitely don't think the Head should have sent others messages to others using her phone! So, it looked like she'd done it? Potentially creating another bullying issue whilst wishing to sort out another? 
Have a read of the school's phone policy, see what has/hasn't been adhered to by both sides. Then if you discover that the Head has gone against the school policy, put in a complaint. about it whilst  acknowledging your daughter's part in it and any punishment she has received as a consequence. 

TWIGLET1234

GeordieGeorge said:

TWIGLET1234 said:

Hi All
Thanks for the comments. I did in fact attend two meetings at the school regarding the matter and was fully supportive of the points made on bullying. Like many parents, I hate bullying and my children have never bullied anyone.  

That’s not right, as in your original post she was involved in online bullying.

How is it not right? It was online bullying yes. I attended two meetings about it. I should say, never bullied anyone prior to this yes? 

pinkshoes

I assume the school has a no phones policy? Many schools have this policy due to bullying in the form of messaging. Whether this is nasty stuff said about someone, or even just excluding or removing someone from a group to make them feel isolated...

I'm a teacher who works at a school with a phone ban. If pupils are caught with phone out, then it is confiscated and a parent then has to arrange to come and collect it. 

A child has a right not to be bullied at school, so if the school suspected your daughters phone contained material to show bullying was taking place, then they had to right to ask to see it which your daughter allowed. If your daughter refused, there is always the option of getting the police involved depending on the severity of the bullying.

I do, however, find it wrong that the headteacher sent a message from your daughter's phone. I would not be happy about this.

PS - discord is for kids age 13+ and you have to agree you are 13+ to sign up. Your daughter is 11...  Also, if you read the T&Cs, it says that any "content" uploaded on the messages belongs to discord, and they can do what they like with it, so might be worth stating how everything she writes online is a permanent record that can be pulled up at any time:

By uploading, distributing, transmitting or otherwise using Your Content with the Service, you grant to us a perpetual, nonexclusive, transferable, royalty-free, sublicensable, and worldwide license to use, host, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, and display Your Content in connection with operating and providing the Service

TWIGLET1234

pinkshoes said:

I assume the school has a no phones policy? Many schools have this policy due to bullying in the form of messaging. Whether this is nasty stuff said about someone, or even just excluding or removing someone from a group to make them feel isolated...

I'm a teacher who works at a school with a phone ban. If pupils are caught with phone out, then it is confiscated and a parent then has to arrange to come and collect it. 

A child has a right not to be bullied at school, so if the school suspected your daughters phone contained material to show bullying was taking place, then they had to right to ask to see it which your daughter allowed. If your daughter refused, there is always the option of getting the police involved depending on the severity of the bullying.

I do, however, find it wrong that the headteacher sent a message from your daughter's phone. I would not be happy about this.

PS - discord is for kids age 13+ and you have to agree you are 13+ to sign up. Your daughter is 11...  Also, if you read the T&Cs, it says that any "content" uploaded on the messages belongs to discord, and they can do what they like with it, so might be worth stating how everything she writes online is a permanent record that can be pulled up at any time:

By uploading, distributing, transmitting or otherwise using Your Content with the Service, you grant to us a perpetual, nonexclusive, transferable, royalty-free, sublicensable, and worldwide license to use, host, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, and display Your Content in connection with operating and providing the Service

They are allowed their phones but have to hand it to the teacher at registration and get it back at the end of the day. I think this is a good policy for those who walk home etc, and I have peace of mind and can call her if I’m stuck in traffic. 

Thanks for the pointer about discord. We’ve actually deleted her account and she’s banned from using that or WhatsApp now. There was some pretty nasty content from some of the boys uncovered throughout this investigation which I’m grateful to now be aware of. Whilst I have always trusted my daughter, it’s a learning curve that I should monitor her communications more as I have no control over content that her “friends” are sharing