Future planning - single Mum

kacie

On the books issue, if they're reading the books could they sell them afterwards to buy more, if not sell them is there a mini library nearby they could go swap them in? 

Pollycat

I think £400 per month on food for 1 adult & 2 children is high (unless there are allergy issues).
Where do you shop?
Do you buy brands? Have you considered doing the downshift challenge?
Supermarket Shopping Tips: tools & tricks to slash food bills - MSE (moneysavingexpert.com)
There are ways of batch cooking that you don't have to spend all day in the kitchen.
If you buy meat, have you considered cutting down your portion sizes? You can bulk out shepherds pie with mushrooms or carrots or lentils.
I'll buy multiple packs of mince but instead of chucking them all in the freezer as they are - be it 400gm, 500gm, 750 gm etc - I portion them out to usually 8oz (burgers) or 12oz (multiples for bol/chilli/shepherd's pie).
Yes, it is extra work but it does mean I get more portions out of the same pack.

Maybe post a cut-down version on the Old-style board for more advice.

£100 per month on clothes seems high to me.
Do you need to increase your wardrobe?
Have you considered buying from charity shops?

Presents - would adult family members be OK with you not buying gifts for them?

PoGee

Been there myself. My kids are in their 20s and though they are my pride and joy, they can be really stupid when it comes to money. It's my fault because I stupidly saved up for them and handed it over when they were 17. It went through their fingers like sand. If I had my time back - I would give them chores; would not spoil them; make them independent (walk to school no lifts). As a result of my actions, one of them expects me to hand over my hard earned money. He does not know the meaning of money. They show no signs of moving out.... 

pollyanna24

I'm similar to you in that I'm a single mum with two children (12 and 10).

Incomes are similar too.

I think certain things in a budget are personal and only you can decide if you are happy with the figures.

I only save £30 a month for birthday and Xmas which equates to £360 a year, so £90 each for each occasion.  It has occurred to me to up this, but to be honest, I don't think I will.  If you asked my two what did they get last year for Xmas, they probably wouldn't be able to tell you and I was guilty of buying tat when they were younger just to bulk out the presents that they had to open.

I budget £250 for groceries.  Sometimes stick to it, sometimes go over a bit.

They get £20 a month pocket money each.  This is for stuff that I can't justify spending money on, so if they want to, they have to do it out of this.  The 12 year old is into squishmallows (or something) and I think at almost 13, teddies (when they have black bags of them in the loft) are unecessary, so I refuse.

My two are only too aware of the value of money in some respects.  They know I'm always budgeting and constantly say I don't have much money.  I'm not broke, but I literally throw every spare penny at the mortgage in the hope that it will be gone by the time I'm 50.  We live within the M25 and my end plan is to sell up when the girls are grown and downsize to something and have money to stick in my pension or something.  I say this, but I've had this house for 15 years and feel like it's part of me now!

Like you, I just want to be able to say yes to things instead of now all the time.  Sometimes, I force myself to do this and it makes me sad when the girls don't want to buy something in case I can't afford it.  My 10 year old is about to start karate, but won't stop saying, if £33 a month is too much mum, don't worry, I don't have to do it!  And the 12 year old is very conscious about what she spends on her lunch at the canteen.  I mean, this is all good and there's nothing wrong with bringing lunch in and I let her buy stuff sometimes, but just don't feel I can justify £3 a day on lunch when I might have a buttered roll and a packet of crisps.
 

pickledonionspaceraider

simple-living-ma said:

Hi
I couldn't really find the right place in the forum to put this.   I've post twice - once in budgeting and bank accounts and once in moneysaving mums for different perspectives/audience.

Single parent, 2 children - 1 additional needs/limitations with ASD.  No support, poor financial past. Need future security and better life for my children.  Received a small inheritance lately which I spent a bit on an (old, sensible!) car, new white goods and carpets, all of which were on their last legs and below is what I have left. I need a sensible plan for the future:

Current Account: £7,450 
Everyday ISA: 15000.09 (sure the interest rate is like a ridicouls 0.05)
Shares (via Wombat ISA, just a small amount out of curiosity so I could learn without risk) - £50.65
Cryptocurrency: (Earned via suveys etc., didn't gamble any money here) £21.96
Approx value of my car: 3000 (2014, Dacia Logan with higher mileage - extremely sensible, practical, useful and economical for us)
HelpToSave Account: £150.00 (50% return after 2 and 4 years, but max contribution of £50pm)
Cash: 455

I think if I could tuck the money away somewhere and forget about it, until an emergency, or I'm in a position to buy a house or something (which will be a long time, limited work hours due to young children, 1 with disability and currently in 1st year of Uni to better myself), then it would be safer.  I worry about inflation reducing it's value.


Current monthly income = £2167
Outgoings =
Rent - 490
Council Tax (currently free due to student status however expect to pay £85 in July, Aug and Sept as due to being an OU student I only get exemption when actually studying modules)
Electricity and Gas: 93 per month (just compared and switched)
Life Insurance: 9.03 (To leave in a trust for my children, as they have no-one else to provide for them and help them start in life if something happens to me)
Home Insurance: 12.35 
BT: 32.00 (this is more expensive than previous suppliers but due to needing extensive safety and controls for child's needs it is well worth it)
Mobile phone: 17 (in future I will get a sim-only plan when contract runs out)
Car insurance and breakdown: 37 (tax is free)
Kindle Unlimited: 7.99
Amazon Music 3.99

Groceries/Food: 400 (have previously been spending more on this, but this is my new goal, with juggling kids, mental health, studying, work and family problems I don't feel like batch cooking, 
Clothes: 100 (I buy mine on eBay now, have bought way too much in the past and thrown out stuff and regretted it due to fluctuating style and confidence)
Birthdays/Xmas: 100 (1200 per year, 200-300 each per child birthday and Xmas plus grandparents, nephews etc.)
Holiday: 100 (1200 per year = one caravan weekend at April this year, and a week in Summer, to be near my very best friend who moved 7 hours away, when things settle down I would love to use some of my Dad's money for a memorable holiday but first I want to make sure it's some security for us!)
Diesel: 110
Alternative health: 30 
Entertainment/activities: 50 (probably low but everything I like doing is outdoors and low-cost)
School trips: 25 (300 for daughter's first major school trip)
Car MOT/Maintenance/repairs: 50 (approx, just paid this when needed before, is it realistic?!)
Takeaways: 50, not required and brings me no joy or fulfilment, but self-control always gets the better of me.
DLA related expenses (300ish, I've put this aside as I spend this on things that directly benefit my son, family passes to safe outdoor farm park etc. that make life better as well as sensory clothing and toys, replacing things

I need to find a system of "pots" for the yearly expenses?! 

Extra info (don't need to read this if you have any financial advice but useful for context if anyone is interested):

 Things have been very hard and I am just trying to secure a good life for us.

Overspending has been an issue - e.g. before my inheritance I paid off debt and saved £3k during a long, good spell of mental health and then when isolation from lockdown hit my mental health condition spiralled and I managed to spend the lot with nothing to show. 

I think that I have learned to live frugally, compare and am good at reducing expenses but being able to maintain the self control long-term is hard.  I have posted separately .  I should not need to overspend but I do.  This is why I think it would be best to tuck my money away where it cant be spent on impusle, as well as use specific pots for yearly/infrequent expenses.

Working part-time, 16 hours per week (I was working longer hours than this, but gave it up to concentrate on studies and caring responsibilities) Plus tax credits and child benefit and child's DLA.  I've been studying full-time with Open University (BSc Psychology) to improve future prospects, just finished my first year.  I don't want to be rich, I just don't want to have to worry constantly about money or go back to living week to week.

 I expect my son's DLA to end next May at renewal, as it is difficult to claim, and due to NHS cutbacks on the support services and assessments we get because of Covid, I have no further evidence, our local NHS is over 2 years plus waiting for each stage! 

Job prospects in future - not sure, I have a passion for writing and would love to release a self help book - not sure if this is an impossible dream! Son needs strict routine and simple life, at the moment he wouldn't cope being put in extra childcare to allow me to work more although me studying from home is fine, I might need to think about future work I can do from home but at least with covid changes this isn't too unrealistic.  Psychology degree should open up lots of avenues for me and is fully funded for me - does not qualify me for an specialist positions but I would love to go into mindfulness teaching, counselling, psychotherapist - all of these will need self-funded training. 

I want to completely get off dependence on aid in the future - one massive worry for me is that if I am changed to Universal Credit I will lose all Tax Credits, childcare funding + son's DLA premium through tax credits due to capital rules.  So I want to be self-sufficient before this happens otherwise our security pot to make a better life will be decimated.

Still some things I need to buy - blackout curtains for daughters room, new bedroom furnishings as the storage and organisation we have isn't practical or easy to manage for additional needs kids and exhausted Mum, but I haven't worked out what would be best yet.  

Other - considered business ideas but with my focus on caring for my children, recovering my mental health, and studies this just isn't feasible.  The best I can do is not to waste anything and sit tight and wait until I can make better lie opportunities. Considered passive incomes but could not find anything realistic.  

Pocket money: currently suspended this as I have accidentally given my kids the idea that that spending is required for happiness as well as them having no impulse control with money and allowing them to constantly waste money on online game content, plastic tat in shops etc.

Thank you so much for reading this!

Before i start, i wanted to applaud you for reaching out like this and say that you are doing very well already - so sensible with the insurances so you already seen super clued up IMO

I was a single mum for 15 years and the things that jumped out at me were

COUNCIL TAX - when you are not a student status, you should get a 25% reduction

FOOD - £400 a month for three of you? wow! That is quite a large grocery bill 
I have never got onboard with the idea of batch cooking either.
In my house, meals do not have to be fancy/or time consuming every night - you sound like you have a lot on your hands, work/kids uni, can keep things simple on busy days. We will do things like Beans on Toast, Veggie Burgers or Stuffed pasta with stir in sauce - minimal effort and not expensive.  When i was a single Mum, something on toast was had one evening meal every week.  You don't need to be delia smith every night, honestly - we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and hacking up vegetables every day.
My best idea is a common one now, meal planning.  I  have done this for years - for example i always do online shopping and whilst sitting in the kitchen with the laptop i can see what i have got, plan meals around what I do have and order what i need.  then i know I have seven meals in for the week (as im really bad at buying a load of junk and no stuff for meals if i dont do this) and its worked great for me since i started doing it.  I make sure there are healthy snacks in and again i don't mean chopping up carrot batons lol i just mean fruit and protein bars etc

PRESENTS - you are overspending here too IMO, id cut that down to half for my own children.  Other people got token gifts from me, ie a tenner max

HOLIDAYS -  This is huge - check out the sun £9.50 / £15 holidays.  You could book a break for your family for a huge discount and these holidays are brill, i have always had great caravans and choices of places. This will save you about a grand a year

Thats all I have, in some ways you are doing better than me and have prompted me to do a swap with my gas/elec supplier asap!

With regards to releasing a book - you COULD do this.  I have a friend who released a book through amazon - and the way it works is there is NO outlay - and when a book is ordered, just one is printed and sent. and they really are fantastic books - no initial cost to her, i think the outgoings is they take the percentage before the profit comes to you 

PS dont put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect.  I'd probably keep the takeaway money on the budget, if you want a takeaway then have one, you cannot be a hero every day.

Siebrie

Our budget for gifts is €60 for birthdays and christmas for our little family. Relatives/friends get max 25 for birthdays, nothing for christmas. Weddings/childbirth €50 (or €100 if husband's African relatives, just to give them a boost - they get hardly anything else). I always make it clear to people that I don't need to receive gifts in return; I'm just happy to see them. Bottles of wine or showergel are gratefully/gracefully accepted, as I don't buy them for myself.

gwynlas

Old post check dates

Pollycat

gwynlas said:

Old post check dates

And the Of hasn't logged on for 3 months.

pickledonionspaceraider

May well be an old post, but could well be of use to someone who finds  themselves in a similar situation