Hoping for some clarity on settlement of property in a separation

davilown

Just briefly reading through your post - you got a valuation in 2015 for £300k and paid 50% of that.
You now think that that valuation is wrong and you should get more money back?
I think you should put this down to experience, take your 50% at today’s value and be glad you’re away.
Not all property has gone up in value.

getmore4less

HopingForClarity said:

thanks for your reply - slight misunderstanding there i think. 

looks like the property was likely worth £250k in 2015
all properties in the same street look to have increased by about 45 % over the same time period based on sold prices  -
so maybe its worth £350k tops now  - but hard to get a clear picture as its the only property of this type on the street and since COVID prices here have gone a bit crazy. Hence the need for a RICS

You are going to have to get your numbers sorted they are all over the place at the moment
first post.....

only became apparent when some valuations of its 2021 value started coming in at still £300k.

now could be up to  £350k

Issue could be as simple as you bought in when yours was the popular one on the street now all the others are the popular ones and have gone up a lot more that yours would have.

if it is the only one of the type on the street you are going to have to do a wider comparison on the 2015 data set  to get ball park value back then

HopingForClarity

getmore4less said:

HopingForClarity said:

thanks for your reply - slight misunderstanding there i think. 

looks like the property was likely worth £250k in 2015
all properties in the same street look to have increased by about 45 % over the same time period based on sold prices  -
so maybe its worth £350k tops now  - but hard to get a clear picture as its the only property of this type on the street and since COVID prices here have gone a bit crazy. Hence the need for a RICS

You are going to have to get your numbers sorted they are all over the place at the moment
first post.....

only became apparent when some valuations of its 2021 value started coming in at still £300k.

now could be up to  £350k

Issue could be as simple as you bought in when yours was the popular one on the street now all the others are the popular ones and have gone up a lot more that yours would have.

if it is the only one of the type on the street you are going to have to do a wider comparison on the 2015 data set  to get ball park value back then

Yep - that's the purpose of the RICS valuation  - estate agents valuations / market appraisals are all over the place at present. 
The current estimates from estate agents are anywhere between 295 and 375 at present. hence worst case its still only worth 300  - and that's what raised the flag. 
I'm not locked into any particular figure in my mind at this point - so the exact figure is not the issue just now - i was just trying to demonstrate the principle that there is a big gap between what was paid and what it was likely to have been worth.

on average sold prices across the entire town where we live have risen 45% according to land registry sold data  - same picture if you use the Nationwide's house price index or any other method i can find. so i am pretty confident a retrospective RICS will bear that out.
but as we have been discussing  - it is in any case something of a mute point - as legally its a case of buyer beware  - pretty much regardless of circumstances  - i had not done that because of the difficult circumstances  - and hence legally its pretty much a done deal - unless i wanted to pursue very torturous legal argument with slim chances of success. Which of course i do not. 
make sense?

HopingForClarity

deannagone said:

Just wanted to express my sympathies, 
Look at 'The Drama Triangle'., it helps understanding of situations like this.

Just walk away and in time, be thankful it wasn't more.  

thank you for your sympathetic message! 

As you are probably aware, logically understanding something and emotionally accepting it are two different things. Its that second stage I am in now.  I am getting there though.

thank you for the Karpman triangle suggestion - certainly worth a read. 

i have attempted to have the conversation with her  - about how, if her perspective makes everything someone else's fault 
- "you did this to me" 
- "this is your fault"
- "now you need to do this for me to make it better" 
is she not aware that she in doing so she is giving away her power to be responsible, to make solutions, to take control of her own future and build a happier life - she is in fact making herself dependent on the very people she is blaming  - and alienating.

But she is so heavily invested in her existing beliefs of injustice, bad luck, and now victimisation  - that it falls on deaf ears.
deep down she knows there is a problem. she is even interested to some degree in understanding it.
But its like a switch flicks as soon as it gets too close to home and all balanced logic is suddenly rejected in favour of blame and anger. i don't know if its a part of a physical illness, a side effect of the menopause or if this tendency has always been there and is just now coming to the fore because of challenging life events. 
Whatever is at the root of it, it is very sad to see in someone you love. 

I think I was in denial for some time  - or stuck in a state of wishful thinking, not wanting to give up on someone i loved, and hoping we would get over the hump to the other side where we would both enjoy a happier more loving relationship. 
In reality my acquiescing to demand after demand driven by their fear and insecurities may even have helped perpetuate the situation.   


mental health issues cause such misery for all concerned i sympathise with your son.
i wish him, and all those effected by the ripples of mental illness as smooth a transition as possible through his own challenging time.

verytired11

In reality my acquiescing to demand after demand driven by their fear and insecurities may even have helped perpetuate the situation.   
This.  All we can do in life is learn from our mistakes and try not to make them again.  Life is understood backwards, but has to be lived forwards...... 

HopingForClarity

one thing i am not fully clear on - that perhaps someone can clarify is  -
if, i don't get an offer I feel I can accept, in what circumstances would a court likely order that one partner buys the other out. 
or is the default where there are no children, no other people living in or having ownership of the property, that in the end the court would just order a sale ?

HopingForClarity

HopingForClarity said:

one thing i am not fully clear on - that perhaps someone can clarify is  -
if, i don't get an offer I feel I can accept, in what circumstances would a court likely order that one partner buys the other out. 
or is the default where there are no children, no other people living in or having ownership of the property, that in the end the court would just order a sale ?

  Anyone?

CookieMonster

I sympathise with your situation, as I had to buy my partner out of 'our' house over a decade ago.
I took a financial hit, but I have since recovered.
I'm not convinced that a court can order a person to purchase a house - even if the person could afford it/could get a mortgage.
 I don't see this ending in your favour (what would once have been described as 'fairly').
And don't blame yourself for falling into the societal trap that you're responsible for another person's happiness/trying to make them happy: you're not the first, you won't be the last.

AdrianC

HopingForClarity said:

one thing i am not fully clear on - that perhaps someone can clarify is  -
if, i don't get an offer I feel I can accept, in what circumstances would a court likely order that one partner buys the other out. 
or is the default where there are no children, no other people living in or having ownership of the property, that in the end the court would just order a sale ?

A court will not order that A buys B out.
They will order a sale. They don't care if A buys it or somebody else entirely. Just that B can get out of it.

HopingForClarity

thanks both!
yep - i am aware i will lose out financially 
i just wanted to be fully informed before getting into the discussions 
for some reason something i had read in the linked article had made me think a court might order a person A be paid XX for thier share of the property based on a professional valuation and the party B could then stay in the home. 
its clear the court just makes an order for the property to be sold now 
thank you - that helps a little.