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Thanks all - we have today bought an alternative router and set it up which has made such a different. Wireshark enabled us to get our username and password
Why not connect your old BT router to the Sky one via ethernet, then use it as a router and use the Sky one as a modem i.e. turn off the wireless and one of them to be a DHCP server. I don't know enough about either of the boxes but basically you need to set the sky box as a modem only, and the BT one as just a router. I believe someone on this forum will know how to do this, I know that Sky and most ISP supplied xDSL devices are pants I use an ASUS router but my ISP allows me to use any modem router easily, which I believe is not the case with Sky.
Thanks for your input - we send back our BT stuff as requested and even after doing that, I'm getting at least 1 email / text message reminding me to send back my kit... I'll no doubt be calling them next week with my proof of postage.