Friends refusing to refund holiday moneh

Sea_Shell

lukeains said:

It was a break up with me and one of them other members but she’s making a huge fuss of it.

How many of you in the group?    All couples?  

Whose circle of friends are the group made up of primarily?   I'm guessing they are your ex-partners?   Otherwise, surely they would be the ones being told they're no longer welcome, if the group were YOUR friends.     

I'm guessing that text was from your ex?

Look at it from the rest of the groups perspective.    They have all paid their £X share for these holidays.   You and your partner have now split up and she doesn't want you to go anymore.     Why should the rest of the group now have to pay extra to pay you off?

I'm not sure I'd be happy to be asked to "pay back" my share of your £110, for something out of my control, thereby making my holiday more expensive than what I had budgeted for, (unless its a big group so it's only, say £10 each).      Similar to if you'd be taken ill and couldn't go.   

If this is on anyone (to pay you back), it's your ex, but we don't know the reason for the break-up so even then it may not be clear.    You could have done something completely unforgiveable for all we know.   Or she might have?!     Is there any chance to might kiss and make up before the holiday?

If they don't voluntarily pay you back, I'm not sure it's worth all the aggro of trying to go "legal" to get your money back.   I'd chalk it up to experience and find some new friends.

74jax

unforeseen said:

So what did you do that upset the rest of the party so much that you are now persona non grata? Sounds like something fairly serious to cause that reaction. They obviously think you are now toxic. 

It does really matter. It's nothing to do with the question asked. We don't need to know. 

CookieMonster

I'd let it go.
I've had to do similar.
Your dignity is worth more than a few quid.
Plus you can bad-mouth them over the money .

My crazy ex-girlfriend didn't pay me back for our holiday to Madeira, despite promising to do so (she had ended the relationship as an attempted "controlling measure", thinking I would get back with her - even if only for the duration of the holiday).
A few hours after she landed in Madeira, I landed in Vegas.

You are best out of that friendship group, think of it as a blessing.

maman

I'd take the moral high ground and forget about it. If I was your ex I'd similarly want to pay you back.
But I don't know the reason for the break up. There could be extenuating circumstances like if you already owed me money. 🤔

TBagpuss

If it's your ex sending the message than I would suggest hat you respond and say that as they have made cleare they don't want you there, you are willing to stay away on condition that they reimburse you .

If it was the breakup of a friendship then I think it depends a bit whether you had a fight with one person who is either the person who made the booking, or otherwise a leader in the group, but I would be considering whether the others know you've been sent a message like this?
If they are all agreed that they don't want you there then I don't think it is unreasonable to ask them to reimburse you, so possibly reply copying in the other members of the group and say something like "As you mentioned in your message, I have pre-paid £110 for the trip, if you no longer wish me to attend that I will stay away, in which case I do expect my payment to be returned to me - you can of course invite someone else to join you in that case, and ask them to contribute, , but I'm sure you will agree that it is unreasonable to expect me to pay for your trip "

That said, if you feel that you were in part to blame then it may not be worth the hassle. 

pinkshoes

I'm in two minds about this, but it depends what the self destructing actions were.

You said two holidays, so can she go on one and you go on the other???

Ultimately, she cannot refuse you the holiday and not refund you your share. Just reply saying that as she has made it clear you are not welcome on the holiday, then you would like your £110 back within 7 days, and if she does not refund, then you will be turning up on the holiday*. 

*whether you want to go through with this will depend on what you have done!

HampshireH

Sounds like there is way more to this. The initial snapshot (obviously edited) alludes to that in whatever OP destructive actions are etc.

I think I'd be inclined to just walk away and have nothing more to do with them.

AskAsk

if they are unreasonable and your actions had not justified them not allowing you to come then they should refund your share, and if not, then you can take out a small claims case against them.

if what you have done does justify them not wanting you there then leave it and move on.  you need new friends by the look of it now.