Advice on buying out partner from mortgage

wavey_d

My wife and I are separating and we're starting the horrible process of deciding how we can move on with our lives and minimise the impact on our 2 children (8 & 5).

We have a joint mortgage (i.e. joint tenancy) and approximately 50% equity in our house. After doing initial sums, I think that I can buy her out without crippling myself financially. All fairly straight forward so far.

However, I have 2 unrelated questions/concerns

My wife has said that she would potentially want to buy me out of the house. What happens if we both want to buy each other out? Do we just need to keep fighting until one of us wins/gives up? 

Additionally, when we were looking to buy our "forever home" back in 2016, my Father gifted us £40k to enable us to buy the house we live in now. He had terminal cancer and wanted to be able to help us. Shortly after we moved in my Dad passed away. He didn't own any property, but had a small amount of savings that I inherited. I used some of this money to have a conservatory built and the garden to be renovated (approx £20k). In 2018 I then paid £27k off the mortgage. I think I know the answer, but do I still have any "claim" on any of the money? I'm assuming that I don't (as per the joint tenancy). However, it is making me feel quite cross and upset as she is the one choosing to separate and she will have basically be benefiting from my Father's inheritance.

Any comments or advice would be gratefully received!

pphillips

1.You keep fighting until one of you concedes or wins (in reality only your solicitors will win).

2. No - because once you get married, your inheritance becomes marital property.

Mojisola

wavey_d said:

My wife and I are separating and we're starting the horrible process of deciding how we can move on with our lives and minimise the impact on our 2 children (8 & 5).
My wife has said that she would potentially want to buy me out of the house.

If you put the children first in all your decision making, the split will be easier for them.

Are you going for 50/50 care?  If not, wouldn't it be best if the children and the main carer were able to stay in the family home?

wavey_d

Thanks for the response. Just as I thought then

wavey_d

Mojisola said:

wavey_d said:

My wife and I are separating and we're starting the horrible process of deciding how we can move on with our lives and minimise the impact on our 2 children (8 & 5).
My wife has said that she would potentially want to buy me out of the house.

If you put the children first in all your decision making, the split will be easier for them.

Are you going for 50/50 care?  If not, wouldn't it be best if the children and the main carer were able to stay in the family home?

Yes, they definitely come first in the decision making. It will be 50/50 care

TBagpuss

1. Yes, but of course you'll both also need to look at whether you are able to buy the other out. If you both want to stay, t may be that one of you is willing to offer a bit more to do so - so for instance, if you want to stay in the house you could offer to pay her a bit more than her share of the equity (or vice versa).  Think of it as if you were selling to a third party - if you have more than one interested party you might well decide to go with whoever offered most - and as a buyer, if you are in that situation, it can help to focus your mind on how much you want the property and how much it's worth to you personally! 

Equally, as whoever moved is likely to have more in the way of up-front costs, for removal costs for their share of home contents etc, you might agree that those costs should be shared so that the person who goes is not left at an immediate disadvantage. 
 
(On a personal level, you may also want to think about what your reason would be for wanting to stay put - do you want to be constantly surrounded by memories of your time together? They may be some advantages in moving o, and the children might enjoy the opportunity to get to chose décor for new bedrooms etc.

2. You and she are free to agree on whatever you want, and sometimes people do agree that it is fair for one person to get a bit extra where they have had an inheritance. Legally, however, a court would normally treat the house as a matrimonial asset even where one person has put more in or has used an inheritance for improvements - the inheritance has been 'intermingled' with the joint assets . If you still have any funds from the inheritance which are held separately and haven't even been mixed in with joint funds then you may have an argument for keeping those and not splitting them.