Breast Feeding discussion

mr_ouija

ooobedoo wrote:

Thank you all so much, I think this forum is incredible.

My dh has been ace, he told me to sleep last night and he would do all the feeds. She has fed every 4 hrs and have used SMA gold for her. I feel much brighter today, and feel happier that she is getting not only more sleep but food!.

I am so much happier and have had it pointed out to me that being a martyr isn't helpful to anybody. I have been very moody over the last few days, and been very short with pretty much everybody. I don't want my son to be resentful as I haven't been very tolerent of him, and he's not been naughty just wanting some attention.

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your kind words and wishes.

I'm so glad it all worked out! Now you can really get to enjoy your baby (hugs) (sorry it's CharleneUK logged in on hubby's PC!)

super41

ooobedoo wrote:

I am so much happier and have had it pointed out to me that being a martyr isn't helpful to anybody. I have been very moody over the last few days, and been very short with pretty much everybody. I don't want my son to be resentful as I haven't been very tolerent of him, and he's not been naughty just wanting some attention.QUOTE]

I don't know who suggested to you that you were being a martyr but I think that was thoughtless, insensitive and completely unfair! You have just had a baby by c-section (I've never had so much pain in my life!), you have another child, you are upset about the BF etc etc - you have a right to feel a little stressed! I could have written your original post 6 months ago as had exactly the same issues. Had one midwife who said I would have to top up DS with formula. I'm not joking I cried on and off all the day I was so upset at the thought. Felt a failure and lost confidence. Fortunately I had another midwife who came the next day and spent 1 and 1/2 hours helping with BF technique and positioning etc. She was truly fab and because of her I was able to carry on and am still BF him now.

I don't know if you would be able to carry on BF and combining as others have suggested but that might be a compromise. Anyway as long as the decision you make is yours for the right reasons not because someone else has pressurised you.

I really feel for you because I've been there. Don't feel guilty as this may spoil your enjoyment of the precious first few weeks of your baby's life.

PS could other people/family take your son out for a few hours and give him a bit of fuss and give you a break?

pookienoodle

Hi,
don't feel guilty, Katherine had colostrum from you so she has had a healthy shot of antibodies and 100s of 1000s of babies thrive on formula.
catch up on your sleep now and let your hubby take some of the strain.
big babies and c sections don't make for easy breastfeeding so as long as Kathrine has a full tummy it does not matter that its not booby milk.
don't let anyone (especially the breastfeeding mafia) look down on you you tried your best.
xxx

stardoman

Hi,

Congratulations on the birth of your new daughter.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating stuff already said.

I'm a bit concerned about the advice your midwife has given you regarding breastfeeding and expressing. Do you know what training your midwife has had with regards to breastfeeding and how up to date this is? Are you aware that not all midwives have up to date breastfeeding training? Midwives in my area can actually qualify without doing any breastfeeding training at all. Sorry to go on, but I think is is really important when you are trusting someone's advice to find out what they are basing their advice on.

The reason I'm mentioning this is that your body makes breastmilk based on a supply and demand system. As your baby suckles it send hormones which tell your body to make more milk. If your baby is losing weight then instead of restricting your baby's access to the breast (which will have the effect of reducing your milk supply), your baby's access needs to be increased.

Has your midwife suggested a babymoon? This is where you would give your baby unrestricted access to the breast for as long as you can. If your partner is around for the next couple of days, could he look after your older child while you spend some time concentrating on the baby? Some people do it by staying in bed for a day or two with the baby. The baby is stripped to her nappy and the mum is topless. This skin to skin contact makes the baby feel safe and the baby can feed as much as she wants.

I appreciate this can be difficult with older children. But you can get some really good results from doing this for a day or two. You may find the baby wants to feed pretty much constantly. This is not a bad thing - it will build up your milk supply so that there is plenty of milk for your baby. This will have a better effect than expressing.

Another idea might be to try compression. I'll post a link to the Kellymom breastfeeding site (which is all evidence based) which describes this. Compression is a why of getting more milk into the baby when she stops/slows suckling.

There are many problems with expressing to increase milk supply. It not as effective in stimulating your breasts to produce more milk. If the milk is being fed to the baby then the baby is not given the opportunity she needs to be at the breast stimulating your supply (which the baby would do better than the pump). Some mums find pumping difficult and never get much out, this can be disheartening and also make some women believe that they do not have enough milk. On top of that is the extra workload involved in sterilising and storing milk. Far simpler just to put the baby to the breast more frequently. Milk does not gain extra calories because it is expressed and then fed into the baby. It will have the same calories if it is fed directly to your baby from your breast.

I am wondering what evidence your midwife is using when she tells you not to offer the second side. Some babies only feed from one side each feed, but many feed from both. In the early days some women find feeds pretty much merge into one. This does not last foreever, fortunately. Again, but not giving your baby the opportunity to feed from the second side if she needs to could have a damaging affect on your milk supply as it restricts her time at the breast.

Finally, (sorry this has been so long), you ask about foremilk and hindmilk. There is no switch or point in the feed where the milk changes. Instead it is a gradual thing, more like the petrol gauge on a car. It does not go from full to empty, but gradually moves towards empty as you use the car. Its the same with breastmilk, as your baby feeds and your breast becomes emptier, your milk becomes thicker and creamier. This is a slow change and because of this you baby will be getting fattier and creamier milk as she feeds. The way to make sure your baby is getting enough milk is to let her have unrestricted feeds for now. This can be manipulated a bit when she is older and has a bigger tummy (you might find she starts spacing feeds out more for herself anyway).

The signs you post are good. The fact she is having plenty of wet and dirties nappies implies she is getting enough. There are some medical conditions, such as gestational diabetes, which mean the baby is born heavier than she should have been. If a baby is over 9lb at birth, it is sometimes an indicator that gestational diabetes was a factor. In this situation, the baby might have some catch-down time, where she is getting to the weight she should have been. This might be worth discussing with your GP or peadiatrician.

Link to "How can I increase baby's weight" factsheet is http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/weight-gain_increase.html

This site is evidence based and a good site to use for any breastfeeding query.

HTH. Mandy. (Trainee Breastfeeding Counsellor for NCT- just 1 essay left hooray!)

bambam_2

I haven't been able to read all the posts so far but it sounds like you've tried really hard with this and it must be disappointing. PND or even just the normal low you get after delivery, will make it seem much worse but try to focus on the bigger picture - your baby is healthy and happy nothing else matters. If you feel up to it you could keep trying to express. My first was fed in hospital with a mix of my milk and sma because she was low birth weight and I couldn't get enough into her at first. I kept expressing even though she was being tube fed and although I was lucky to get a couple of drops to begin with, eventually a few weeks later, I had more than required. I found it helped if I ate a mars bar, had a cup of tea and looked at the baby's face while expressing.

janb5

Could I just say that I`m getting very fed up at all the negative comments re midwives and health visitors! I cant speak for everyone but there are at least three of us on this site who post regularly and it is really daunting to read all these b**chy comments.

I`m not being paranoid but I dont read horrible posts re teachers for example.

Just a thought.......

Js_Other_Half

janb5 wrote:

Could I just say that I`m getting very fed up at all the negative comments re midwives and health visitors! I cant speak for everyone but there are at least three of us on this site who post regularly and it is really daunting to read all these b**chy comments.

I`m not being paranoid but I dont read horrible posts re teachers for example.

Just a thought.......

I think you'll find loads of posts about horrible teachers, but you probably don't notice them because they aren't directly related to your job?

As for horrible MW and HV several of my friends rave about theirs, but I ended up getting my birth plan written with my community MW as a hospital MW was so negative about my (completely normal!) wishes - all I wanted was no pethidine as it hadn't worked for my IVF egg collection. She went off on a tangent about how I'd need it etc...and how all these first time Mums to be change their minds once they're in labour...if it didn't work 9 months ago, why would it work now? My consultant was completely understanding that for some people it doesn't work.

I hope I don't end up with that particular midwife when I go into hospital this week - I can imagine she wouldn't be the most sympathetic person to deal with...:eek:

super41

janb5 wrote:

Could I just say that I`m getting very fed up at all the negative comments re midwives and health visitors! I cant speak for everyone but there are at least three of us on this site who post regularly and it is really daunting to read all these b**chy comments.

I`m not being paranoid but I dont read horrible posts re teachers for example.

Just a thought.......

I hope you have noted the really positive comments made about HVs and midwives as well? Unfortunately not everyone has had a good experience and these are probably mentioned here disproportionately because of the nature of the subject. Please don't see it as a reflection on your profession as a whole. You do a challenging job but perhaps not all are as sympathetic or sensitive as yourself.

PS There have been some very negative posts about teachers before!

inkie

Could I just say that I`m getting very fed up at all the negative comments re midwives and health visitors! I cant speak for everyone but there are at least three of us on this site who post regularly and it is really daunting to read all these b**chy comments.

I just take pride in the fact that no-one seems to have a problem about my care delivery (at least not to my face anyway!)

Lillibet_2

Js_Other_Half wrote:

I hope I don't end up with that particular midwife when I go into hospital this week - I can imagine she wouldn't be the most sympathetic person to deal with...:eek:

You have every right to request an alternative midwife. Excercise your right, giving birth is hard enough, don't try & do it with someone you feel less than comfortable about.

Good luck;)

(P.S I didn't have pethadine, it was the one big no-no on my birth plan & I managed fine without it even as a first time mum, one who didn't change her mind about any of her birth plan when the time came!;))


(((Hugs))) to ooobedoo & family:T