Breast Feeding discussion

inkie

OK, as a midwife, if you were my patient this is what i would be saying:

You are doing a great job in breastfeeding - she is a big baby to fill, and so you need to get you supply doing as much as possible.

Do this by feeding her on demand - do not try expressing at this stage - it's too early, and I would discourage Formula feeding - if baby takes 5 0z formula, then this is 5 Oz that she hasn't taken from you i.e. not demanded from you.
I remember that it seemed like I was continually feeding by 2 at at around this age, one feed seemed to run into the other - but after a lot of rest (get other people to run about doing the other things so that you can concentrate on feeding, ), lots of drink, and lots of energy giving food. It is an investment thing, and you need to invest time in feeding.

The 10% thing is what the original MW would have been referring to - but as has been said before, this is average, and Breast feeders do tend to lose a bit more, and if the baby is fine in all other observations (wet and dirty, alert when awake and not jaundiced ) then I would just let mum feed through the problem.
If you can, ask you MW for a copy of 'sucessful breastfeeding' - its a RCM production.

Hope this helps.

Alleycat

Glad to hear that you are getting into the swing of things and the other midwife has set your mind at rest. I would echo another poster that if you are able (and want to) cut out the formula feeds then this is the best way to go as your supply will increase the more Katherine feeds from you. Its nice to have the option to top up and it doesn't have to be all or nothing, but bottle feeding so soon can lead to a bit of nipple confusion etc.

Hope you get some sleep soon and enjoy christmas with your new little bundle!

ooobedoo

This afternoon hasn't been very good at all and I am sorry to say that DH and I have decided to put her on the bottle. I am exhausted and very emotional and just can't cope. She just wants to continually be on the boob and not only is it making me tired, I am snapping at my son who I think must thinks that he can't do any right today.

I just wish that I grew smaller sized babies that aren't as easy to fill, and milk could of grown as she did.

Thank you all for your help, I feel bad. I am sitting here in floods of tears but I can't go on. I am worried about pnd as I suffered with this when I had my son and think some of it was due to not being able to breastfeed but I have built up breastfeeding as the prefect way to feed my baby in my mind and any other way is a second best. I feel amazing guilt and have been very tearful.

oobxxxx

claireandella

Hi Ooobedoo- I love the names you've chosen (but then my little one's called Ella- so I spose I would...)

I had real problems to begin with and almost gave up when the Midwife spent 15 mins collecting 5mls of milk from my nipple drop by miniscule drop with the smallest syringe I'd ever seen. the breast pump was agony and I just couldn't do the milking myself thing. I thought that I'd spend the rest of my life continually trying (and failing) to get the hang of bf and my baby would starve in the meantime.

After a hungry week, we eventually got the hang of bf (although, seven months later I haven't mastered the baby to breast thing and still break my back bending towards her or lay her down alongside me on the bed) but I've never managed to express and decided it was more hassle than it's worth. After all, I fed her myself for the first month and then mixed BF with the occasional bottle of formula for the next 5-6 months and she's very happy and healthy so I don't feel at all guilty about it. I now only bf first thing in the morning because she has teeth and bites hard if she's not absolutely starving. She takes a bottle brilliantly and i've got a couple of friends who breastfed exclusively and their children won't touch anything-even expressed milk- out of a cup or bottle which makes going out a nightmare.

I think you're doing a great job and shouldn't beat yourself up. You are trying so hard to breastfeed that you deserve to succeed but, even if you resort to the occasional bottle of formula or have to abandon bf completely, you're still a great and caring mum and that's what really matters.

Good Luck- it gets easier after the first few weeks...

claireandella

Have just read you're most recent post (you wrote it as I was writing mine and trying to cope with a nappy change!). Please don't feel that you're in any way to blame. You sound like a great mum and bf isn't the be all and end all. It's great if you can do it but love is much more important and you'll wear yourself out if you are constantly feeding and worrying. Babies are hard enough without this and a return of the pnd is the last thing you need. Perhaps you could give a 'cuddle feed' first thing in the morning and last thing at night to keep your milk going and use formula in between?

Please, please don't cry about it as this seems to make things even worse. I used to treat myself to a big bowl of ice-cream, a bar of chocolate or a cake whenever I got upset about things. come to think of it I still do...

Ella and I are sending you a big hug!

toria27

Hi, havn't read the rest of the thread as only popped on for a minute so sorry if repeating. My daughter was born by c-section adn I too was having lots of trouble getting my milk to come she would feed for at least an hour at a time and still need more, she lost too much weight and I too had trouble getting more than 20ml on expressing.
I was told that when you have a c-section, your milk is often slower at really getting going. One night when she was a couple of weeks old my milk suddenly came in the middle f the night soaking through pad, bra, pj's, bedding and into matress! After that the best time of day for me to express was at 2am. I rarely got anything in the day. Also it helped if I had a hot bath.
Think Iv'e rambled too much, sorry hope things get better for you and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

vippymini

ooobedoo wrote:

This afternoon hasn't been very good at all and I am sorry to say that DH and I have decided to put her on the bottle. I am exhausted and very emotional and just can't cope. She just wants to continually be on the boob and not only is it making me tired, I am snapping at my son who I think must thinks that he can't do any right today.

I just wish that I grew smaller sized babies that aren't as easy to fill, and milk could of grown as she did.

Thank you all for your help, I feel bad. I am sitting here in floods of tears but I can't go on. I am worried about pnd as I suffered with this when I had my son and think some of it was due to not being able to breastfeed but I have built up breastfeeding as the prefect way to feed my baby in my mind and any other way is a second best. I feel amazing guilt and have been very tearful.

oobxxxx

please dont feel bad and beat yourself up on this , i did this to myself a few weeks ago, you have made the best descision for both off you if thats going to make you both happier. A happy mum and happy baby is what counts. ifu ever want to chat pm me:D

Alleycat

((((((((((((((Huge hugs))))))))))))))

You sound very tired and stressed out. I've only one little one, so don't know how hard it must be for you at the moment. I had PND for nearly two years (only just getting my head straight now), so can understand the fear you must feel that it is going to happen again. I think however, that you need to have a good night sleep and maybe think some more about it tomorrow. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be exclusive. Many mums successfully feed formula and breastfeed together. Would this be an option for you? I had a few stressful nights when dd was a week old and ended up locking myself in the bathroom. She just would not settle and I had her constantly attached to me. We tried all we could. We had no formula in the house just bottles, so my OH was trying to feed her water to try and fill her up a bit but it didn't work. We went out the next day and bought a couple of those ready made cartons of formula and topped her up on a night for about a week. Slowly my milk built up and we went back to exclusive feeding. It took a lot of time and patience on my part which it sounds like you don't have at the mo. I worry that if you stop breastfeeding altogether you may find yourself getting stressed about that. Maybe you could consider alternate feeding, or just doing the morning, lunch and evening feed with breastmilk. That way, if you do find that you are starting to enjoy it and Katherine begins to settle into more of a routine, you can consider increasing the breastfeeds. It will just give you time to think about what you want to do rather than making the decision now when you are under so much pressure and tired.

Whilst I do think breastfeeding when you can is important, so is your mental wellbeing. Give yourself some time and get OH doing night duty tonight. You go have a nice bath and get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day!

Alleycat

Sorry, me again! Another thing I have thought of is using a sling (not one of those tomy style carriers). I got one when my daughter was tiny and it was a god send. It is designed to let you feed hands free, so you can eat your tea, play with your little boy and Katherine can lay there all nice and snug. When she isn't feeding, she will probably still love being in there as she will be cocooned close to you and be less fractuous. This is the sort of thing. If its a bit pricey at this time of year, I would be more than happy to let you borrow mine if you want me to post it to you.

inkie

This afternoon hasn't been very good at all and I am sorry to say that DH and I have decided to put her on the bottle. I am exhausted and very emotional and just can't cope. She just wants to continually be on the boob and not only is it making me tired, I am snapping at my son who I think must thinks that he can't do any right today.

I just wish that I grew smaller sized babies that aren't as easy to fill, and milk could of grown as she did.

Thank you all for your help, I feel bad. I am sitting here in floods of tears but I can't go on. I am worried about pnd as I suffered with this when I had my son and think some of it was due to not being able to breastfeed but I have built up breastfeeding as the prefect way to feed my baby in my mind and any other way is a second best. I feel amazing guilt and have been very tearful.

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY - baby has had all that wonderful colostrum from you over the past few days - what a great start to her life you've given her!

Now you've made the decision for what is best for you and your family, then rather than just cutting the breast out all together, can you reduce the feeding - I am thinking of halving it for 3 days, and then going down to a couple for 3 days and then one feed for 3 days - (or of course expressing, instead of feeding), this will prevent you becoming all engorged, and minimise the risk of mastitis.