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Let Down By Nursing Home - What can I do?
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maddie67
Posts: 91 Forumite


My Father was admitted to a nursing home for palliative care, after he had been diagnosed with a brain tumour and we were told we could not have him home due to the unpredictable nature of his illness. I had been his carer throughout his illness up to this point.
Unfortunately he passed away just 15 days after being admitted. He had been in hospital for 6 weeks in total, during this time we were not allowed to visit him, either in hospital or at the nursing home due to COVID regulations.
I had been reassured by the home staff that we would be able to visit him when he was deemed to be 'end of life' and we trusted them. A few days after he arrived I was called by them and told that my Dad had been visited by a doctor as he had refused food or drink, the doctor had prescribed him anticipatory drugs, but I was reassured by staff that he didnt need them yet and told we still couldnt visit. During the 10 days leading up to his passing, I telephoned every day, numerous times to see how he was doing or to try and speak with him. I asked if we could visit and was refused, as he wasnt deemed 'end of life' yet, despite him not eating or drinking and being constantly asleep.
My Father passed away without any family with him, or without having a visit to say goodbye from anyone.
Fast forward to yesterday, I received a letter in reply to my complaint to the Nursing Home. In this letter I was told that when the GP prescribed the anticipatory drugs, I should have been told that we could visit.
This wasnt just a simple oversight by staff, it was 10 days, with me phoning 4 or 5 times a day and nobody telling me my Dad was end of life, and being refused visits by more than one member of staff.
I want to take this further but do not know where to start. I feel it needs addressing properly for my poor Dad's sake, a simple 'sorry' just doesnt cut it.
We are in Wales, can anyone help or advise?
Unfortunately he passed away just 15 days after being admitted. He had been in hospital for 6 weeks in total, during this time we were not allowed to visit him, either in hospital or at the nursing home due to COVID regulations.
I had been reassured by the home staff that we would be able to visit him when he was deemed to be 'end of life' and we trusted them. A few days after he arrived I was called by them and told that my Dad had been visited by a doctor as he had refused food or drink, the doctor had prescribed him anticipatory drugs, but I was reassured by staff that he didnt need them yet and told we still couldnt visit. During the 10 days leading up to his passing, I telephoned every day, numerous times to see how he was doing or to try and speak with him. I asked if we could visit and was refused, as he wasnt deemed 'end of life' yet, despite him not eating or drinking and being constantly asleep.
My Father passed away without any family with him, or without having a visit to say goodbye from anyone.
Fast forward to yesterday, I received a letter in reply to my complaint to the Nursing Home. In this letter I was told that when the GP prescribed the anticipatory drugs, I should have been told that we could visit.
This wasnt just a simple oversight by staff, it was 10 days, with me phoning 4 or 5 times a day and nobody telling me my Dad was end of life, and being refused visits by more than one member of staff.
I want to take this further but do not know where to start. I feel it needs addressing properly for my poor Dad's sake, a simple 'sorry' just doesnt cut it.
We are in Wales, can anyone help or advise?
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Comments
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Sadly, your dad has now passed so nothing you can do can bring that time back.
So what specific outcome is it that you’re looking for? What do you want the nursing home to say or do? What actions have they said in their response that they will take in future?It really does depend what you mean when you ask what else you can do.
If you want it on the radar of someone outside of the care home then report to CQC.
https://careinspectorate.wales/They won’t be able to offer you anything above the home’s response to your complaint, but it will be on their radar for future inspections.
Is the care home part of a larger organisation? If you’re not satisfied with the response you can escalate to them.
But other than apologising and ensuring it doesn’t happen again to anyone else, I’m struggling to see what else the home can offer in redress.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.4 -
Id like them to investigate why their staff continued to refuse to let me visit and tell me my Dad wasn’t end of life despite being prescribed end of life drugs and showing all signs of impending death. I feel that someone should be held accountable for what happened. I would like the staff to meet with me and tell me why my Dad died alone without having the chance to see his family to say goodbye. It has been all over the news about how horrific it is that people with covid have died alone with no visits etc, but there were 10 days where we should have and could have been with my Dad. Ironically we were allowed to visit him there after he had passed.0
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The staff meeting with you isn't going to happen, unless the manager os someone higher agrees to set up an individual meeting to discuss your complaint. You're not going to get a meeting with the staff who were on shift who misled you.
They may well have investigated and be holding people accountable but they can't share details of actions with specific staff (eg performance management/training disciplinary) because that would be a breach of confidentiality. What they can do is tell you in more general terms what went wrong and what steps they are putting in place. Was that not part of the original response?
Complaints procedures usually have an "if you're not satisfied with the outcome" section - what did the response say about options for taking it higher?
It does show incredibly poor practice to have been misled like that over that period of time, and you have every right to be upset. It sounds to me as if CQC would be a good starting point, flagging up that it clearly wasn't just one person making a mistake but a complete breakdown in their procedures.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.2 -
The letter I received was from the Regional Director and they have offered to meet with me. They have been very good in as much as every point I have made has been upheld, they haven’t tried to make any excuses for what happened. I must admit I was very surprised that they told me that I should have been offered visits.0
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I’d suggest taking them up on the offer of a meeting then see how you feel after that.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.1 -
Maddie, I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am to read what happened to you and your dad.
Happy moneysaving all.1 -
I’m so sorry to hear this. I would also ask that the staff are given some end of life care training to refresh them on recognising when Someone may be approaching end of life. I’d also as they are retrained on communication in palliative care. I’d also want to ensure this doesn’t happen again to someone else, has the regional Director communicated to staff that once anticipatories are prescribed that a family can visit! All well
telling you that but have they refreshed the staff who are actually on the ground. Hope that helps sorry for your loss.1
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