Ex moving house 18 May 2021 at 4:15PM in Marriage, relationships & families 17 replies 1.1K views

Labtec81

Apparently my ex is moving house and hasn't said anything to me about it but surely I have a right to know purely for my children's sake, I obviously need to know where my children are and that they're safe, simply because I'm their dad, does anyone have any advice for me please??

ZaSa1418

Labtec81 said:

Apparently my ex is moving house and hasn't said anything to me about it but surely I have a right to know purely for my children's sake, I obviously need to know where my children are and that they're safe, simply because I'm their dad, does anyone have any advice for me please??

How do you know she is moving? Is she moving far? Will it affect the schools they attend or contact arrangements?  Have you confronted her about it?

Labtec81

ZaSa1418 said:

Labtec81 said:

Apparently my ex is moving house and hasn't said anything to me about it but surely I have a right to know purely for my children's sake, I obviously need to know where my children are and that they're safe, simply because I'm their dad, does anyone have any advice for me please??

How do you know she is moving? Is she moving far? Will it affect the schools they attend or contact arrangements?  Have you confronted her about it?

I found out via a mutual friend, I don't know where she's planning on moving to so I don't know how far. 

Because I don't know where she's moving to I don't know if it will affect their schooling.

There are no concrete contact arrangements at the moment, but I did start court proceedings in February which are ongoing, the first hearing wasn't until 13th of April and the next one isn't until July. 

Also my ex doesn't speak to me at all about anything 🙄

AskAsk

this article may help you find the answers

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/making-agreements-about-your-children/your-ex-partner-is-taking-your-children-without-consent/

a friend of ours divorced his wife and gave her the house as part of the settlement as he thought she was going to stay there with his son so he could visit his son easily.  after the divorce, his wife sold the house and moved many miles away, which made it very difficult for him to see his son regularly as he had planned.  they are no longer on speaking terms as he was furious that she had given him the impression that she would stay if he agreed to give her the house in the divorce.

he could not stop her moving so he had to move nearer to her new residence so that he could visit his son regularly, which she has agreed for him to do.

swingaloo2

Unfortunately there is nothing to stop her moving wherever she wants and you may have to travel to see the children. There seems to be quite a bit of anomosity between you so she may be holding back telling you until everything is cut and dried.

Labtec81

swingaloo2 said:

Unfortunately there is nothing to stop her moving wherever she wants and you may have to travel to see the children. There seems to be quite a bit of anomosity between you so she may be holding back telling you until everything is cut and dried.

That's the problem she knows right now I can't travel because I'm bedridden waiting for an operation which could take months till I can have it.. I do know if she was planning on moving abroad that she's not allowed to take our children without my consent, you'd think that she'd be stopped moving miles and miles away as well, because that deliberately damages the children's relationship with their father or mother (mostly fathers though) all that nonsense that fathers have the same rights as mothers if named on the birth certificate since December 2003 is exactly that nonsense!!!

Labtec81

AskAsk said:

this article may help you find the answers

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/making-agreements-about-your-children/your-ex-partner-is-taking-your-children-without-consent/

Thanks but she knows right now that I can't travel at all, I can't even get out of the house.... she also doesn't speak to me anyway even though I'd speak to her purely for the sake of our children just to be civil.

gizmo111

Labtec81 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

Labtec81 said:

Apparently my ex is moving house and hasn't said anything to me about it but surely I have a right to know purely for my children's sake, I obviously need to know where my children are and that they're safe, simply because I'm their dad, does anyone have any advice for me please??

How do you know she is moving? Is she moving far? Will it affect the schools they attend or contact arrangements?  Have you confronted her about it?

I found out via a mutual friend, I don't know where she's planning on moving to so I don't know how far. 

Because I don't know where she's moving to I don't know if it will affect their schooling.

There are no concrete contact arrangements at the moment, but I did start court proceedings in February which are ongoing, the first hearing wasn't until 13th of April and the next one isn't until July. 

Also my ex doesn't speak to me at all about anything 🙄

Have there been any reports/contact ordered during the time between the two court dates?
Are Cafcass involved - if so they can ask her what her plans are, if you think she is moving far away or abroad you can return the matter to court for a prohibited steps order.

74jax

If you are bedridden how are you seeing the children now? 

sheramber

74jax said:

If you are bedridden how are you seeing the children now? 

The OP has other threads explaining the position.

TBagpuss

OP, in *general* yes, you would be entitled to know where your children are living.
Also, if you think that is is likely to be moving a long distance you could ask the court to make an interim Prohibited Steps order to prevent her from moving them from their current schools, or taking them out of the immediate area, without the court's permission, pending the court making a decision about contact arrangements.

A court can't order her not to move but can make orders relating to the children - so for example, if she sought to move a long distance away, it would be open to you to ask the court to make orders that the children lived with you so that they could continue to attend the current schools, stay in an areas where they have existing links etc, and a court can decide whether that would be better than staying with mum but moving away. The could would also take into account her reasons for moving - if she has genuine reasons for moving (e.g. being closer to extended family for support, changing to a better job,) than if it appears that her main motive is to make it harder for the children to spend time with their father.