Charging my daughter and boyfriend rent?

BABYSEED18

Can someone please help me? My daughter who’s 20 is signed off with bad anxiety therefore is not working. Her boyfriend moved in a year ago, they both pay £100 each month. They have all food and bills included and smoke a lot of cannabis between them. I struggle to feed my 14 year old son yet they buy the newest games consoles, clothes and cannabis. I think they should be paying more than £25 a week! Can anyone please help on how to work this out?!

74jax

Firstly are you happy for the boyfriend to continue to live with you?  Are you happy for your daughter?  
If yes to both there's not really a way to 'work it out' it's what you wish to charge them.  You could divide all bills by 3 and each pay that, or you could half the bills and they cover half and you cover half.
Is the struggle to feed your child due to them living with you and you can't claim benefits?  As hard as it is, your 20year old is not dependent on you, but your 14 year old is.  

68ComebackSpecial

I understand that she is your daughter but why would you have a couple of heavy cannabis users sharing a house with your minor child? Has your daughter considered that her anxiety issues may well be exacerbated by her cannabis consumption?

suejb2

Ask them if they can find the same accommodation, food and bills for £50 a week! 

Mojisola

74jax said:

you could half the bills and they cover half and you cover half.

That sounds fair - sit them down with a list of the bills and how much it costs per month to cover them and discuss it.

If they don't want to pay their share (and do their share of the household jobs), give them a date for moving out and let them find somewhere else to live.

By letting them pay such a small amount, you are enabling their drug habit.

They are setting a bad example for your son - how long will it be before he starts joining in with the smoking?

Sotts

They can clearly afford it if they're buying cannabis, games consoles etc.  Their priorities are wrong.
Suggest boyfriend moves out or they both stay and they buy their own food and pay rent.

Daughters anxiety might reduce if she stops smoking

GeordieGeorge

BABYSEED18 said:

Can someone please help me? My daughter who’s 20 is signed off with bad anxiety therefore is not working. Her boyfriend moved in a year ago, they both pay £100 each month. They have all food and bills included and smoke a lot of cannabis between them. I struggle to feed my 14 year old son yet they buy the newest games consoles, clothes and cannabis. I think they should be paying more than £25 a week! Can anyone please help on how to work this out?!

How to work what out? There’s no equation or formula for this, you just decide what you want them to pay, and tell them.
If it were me and they were smoking drugs in my house I’d tell them that the next time it happened that the locks would be changed while they were next out.

GeordieGeorge

suejb2 said:

Ask them if they can find the same accommodation, food and bills for £50 a week! 

£23 per week.

silvercar

I’m more worried about your house rules, or lack of them, than what you should be charging.

Pollycat

Why do you feel your son should suffer because you have 2 people living in your house who are not paying their way?

Your duty of care is towards your son who is a minor and moving into a very important part of his schooling.

I'm not sure what you need to work out.

Just tell them they need to pay a higher contribution towards the bills.

If it was just you, I'd suggest a third each but as you have a growing son, half of all the bills sounds fair. Including food. And if they want fancy food, they pay for that themselves.

Have you asked them to pay more and have they refused?

As an aside, do you think smoking cannabis is a good thing for someone who is unable to work because of 'bad anxiety'?

Although it can (apparently) make you feel chilled out, it can also make you confused, anxious or paranoid.

squirrelchops2

I also consider the longer term implications. If they are only paying £25 a week but spending the excess they are never going to have any money to put forward for a place of their own. The reason I say this is that I had to move back home in my early 20s and my mum agreed to me paying a nominal rent BUT with the understanding I was saving hard to get a place of my own which is exactly what I did. She was clear that if I was just spending my disposable income she would put my rent up. This worked well as it meant i was able to move back out quite quickly.
Therefore your daughter and her boyfriend appear to be taking a very easy route as it doesn't sound from what you have said that they are using your home as stop gap to better themselves long term. I would be increasing rent but if they say they will save and show proof of this I maybe wouldn't go the whole hog and make it too high so they cannot save - at the end of the day you are going to want them to have the capacity to move out at sometime!
I also fully agree re the comments on cannabis use and anxiety. Too many times in both my professional and personal life I have had people say the cannabis helps - no it doesn't. The long term impact of cannabis smoking on mental health is becoming well documented.