What if daughter refuses to live with her dad?

sassyblue

Your poor daughter, you must have really scared her. It would have been better to find out the options before talking to her!

gizmo111

There is a big assumption that the father would be willing or want his daughter to live with him - he hasn't bothered with her so far.  Additionally who would even inform him of the Mother's passing, and by the time he was informed the daughter would be safely housed with her maternal family and he would have to make a good case of why it was in her best interests for her to live with him - given the information here, the daughters age and her expressed wishes and feelings it would be very difficult if not impossible for him to make a case for this.
Protection of the daughters assets and who has control of her inheritance and any provision for her care would be the most important thing here ...... people have been known to get attached to  relatives they have had no contact with if they see a golden pot on the horizon.

TBagpuss

things you can do:
- Ensure that your will appoints trustees to deal with financial issues on you daughter's behalf

- Write a 'side letter' which is kept with your will, setting ot who you would swish your daughter to live with in the event of your death, and why - include factual background about the level of contact she has with her dad and her own wishes, as update the letter regularly so it is always current. If there are issues such as any history of domestic abuse, which have contributed to the current situation, include details them in the letter 

- reassure your daughter that her wishes would be taken into account and that it is very unlikely that anyone would try to force her to live with him if she didn't want to. 

- if you think that there is a real probability that your ex would fight to have your daughter live with him, even if that was against her wishes, consider making provision in your will to make some funds available to cover the legal costs of seeking an order, if necessary, so that your siblings or whoever you would want her to live with weren't having to pay out of their own pockets to cover these costs.

Court's don't make orders about children over the age of 16 so unless you think there's a real risk of your dying in the next three years it's very unlikely that it will apply.

If you are ill or it's otherwise a real risk, then I'd suggest that, as well as the above, you might want to consider whether it would make sense to look into speaking to your ex to see whether he is likely to seek a change of residence, and if not, whether he would be willing to reassure your daughter that he will not try to force her to live with him or spend time with him if she doesn't want to.