What if daughter refuses to live with her dad?

missis_amber

I am planning on writing my will in the next few weeks. I am a single mum with one child. She has nothing to do with her father, she refuses to see him and he hasn't made effort to see her. He also lives in another city. I have spoken to her about my will and explained that as he is her father and named on her birth certificate if I was to pass away she would have to go live with him. She is adamant that she doesn't want to live with him, she doesn't want to see him, she doesn't want to go live in another city. She said she is happy to live with my brother or sister and their families, they are happy to have her. What can I write in my will? Can she be made to live with her dad or will her wishes be taken into account? Thank you.

Mojisola

How old is she?

missis_amber

She is 13.

RAS

It is generally assumed that a child aged 14 years or over can decide with whom they wish to live/have contact.

It might be a difficult few weeks but if your siblings were prepared to support her choice, it is likely that social services and the courts would support her decision to live with one of them. Particularly if the other sibling was prepared to offer back-up support.

McKneff

You can't 'will' a child. 
If your family are willing, then so be it. 
If father asks for her to live with him I doubt she would be forced. At 13 she will be asked where she wants to live. 
Just talk to her. And give her the respect she deserves.

Savvy_Sue

Do you have any contact with her father? Does he have any desire to engage with her? 

I'm just thinking that if he doesn't seek contact, and knows in advance that both you and she would like her to live with her aunt or uncle, there wouldn't be a problem. 

However I hope this never becomes an issue for you! 

Perhaps while making your will you should also looking in to Lasting Power of Attorney: if you were incapacitated then having your siblings able to sort out your finances might make life much easier for your DD!

gwynlas

You can name a sibling as guardian in the event of your death. Your daughter would be considered old enough to make an informed decision s to whom she wishes to live with.

getmore4less

Guardians named in wills only take effect for the last survivor with parental responsibility.

You could look at options remove the father or add family while you are alive.

Would moving in with a sibling result in a school change.

Chances are once family jumps in to take over that would be the situation till someone tries to change it and then as said at 13+ her choices will hold a lot weight.


Leaving your assets in trust for you child will be a important decision getting the right trustees.

Mojisola

missis_amber said:

I am planning on writing my will in the next few weeks. I am a single mum with one child. She has nothing to do with her father, she refuses to see him and he hasn't made effort to see her. He also lives in another city.

She said she is happy to live with my brother or sister and their families, they are happy to have her. What can I write in my will?

As well as naming your siblings as guardians, it would be worth writing a letter as an adjunct to the will (and they should be stored together) setting out your reasons for wanting them and not the father to take responsibility for your daughter - no contact, virtual stranger, moving to a new town, changing school, losing contact with friends, her expressed preference, and so on.

A will becomes a public document after probate - a letter stays private unless needed and even then wouldn't be available for anyone who wanted to get a copy.

What could happen is that she would stay with uncle/aunt but her father would have some contact allowed to try to build a relationship.  The older she is if the worst ever happens, the more say she will have in what happens.

Marcon

McKneff said:

You can't 'will' a child. 

But you most certainly need to include guardianship provisions in your will.

getmore4less

Marcon said:

McKneff said:

You can't 'will' a child. 

But you most certainly need to include guardianship provisions in your will.

Testamentary guardian nominations can be separate to a will, some think that is a better option.

No legal significance if you are not the last with parental responsibility.

Does the father have parental responsibility?not all do.