Missing Relatives

MalMonroe

It's a lovely idea, assuming that your wife's parents have both had both covid vaccinations. But I wouldn't want my 90+ parents travelling 150 miles during a pandemic to stay with me. They will surely want to take comfort breaks somewhere on the way, at least twice each way. Who knows what germs they could pick up whilst doing that? 

I just think it's too risky. I understand that none of us are getting any younger but it's crazy to accelerate the dying process for no good reason.

sevenhills

MalMonroe said:

It's a lovely idea, assuming that your wife's parents have both had both covid vaccinations. But I wouldn't want my 90+ parents travelling 150 miles during a pandemic to stay with me. They will surely want to take comfort breaks somewhere on the way, at least twice each way. Who knows what germs they could pick up whilst doing that? 
I just think it's too risky. I understand that none of us are getting any younger but it's crazy to accelerate the dying process for no good reason.

My relative is 94 next month and I am not sure if it's safe to take him anywhere. He is quite frail, just wondering how cautious we should be when they are 90+

He still walks up and down the stairs, I don't think he should be doing that. He lives on his own.

elsien

An OT assessment would tell him if the stairs are safe for him or not, if he has any concerns. 

Apintplease

MalMonroe said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

Deleted_User said:

comeandgo said:

Why can’t you drive to them and pick them up and return on the same day?  

Too far and neither of us like driving on motorways 

Then pay for the taxi, it'll be safer, and get some motorway driving lessons to build your confidence before next time. 

Motorway are actually the easiest and safest roads to drive on. 

150 miles is definitely not too far to do in a single day. especially if you build in a break in the middle for a nice long lunch!

I'm not too sure about motorways being that safe anymore, with the advent of smart motorways. I'm loathe to use them now. 

https://www.businesscar.co.uk/analysis/2021/government-under-fire-as-smart-motorway-death-rates-rise?acceptpolicy=1

Two more people died last weekend on the motorway  outside my own city. They didn't do anything wrong. They broke down and followed the advice given by the government. They didn't make it. 

I think you are being a tad doom and gloom here

I live in a part of the UK where motorways are just two lanes, same as a dual carriageway in the UK , only we can drive a bit faster I learned to drive here and 4 years of country lane driving, I drove Liverpool to London, then London to Scotland - and it was a breeze compared to driving here.

Yes you need to keep your wits about you and keep an eye on all mirrors, but for the most part, drivers on motorways tend to have good lane manners. My heart in mouth moments were joining the motorways, once on them I was fine

pollypenny

Apintplease said:

DMalMonroe said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

Deleted_User said:

comeandgo said:

Why can’t you drive to them and pick them up and return on the same day?  

Too far and neither of us like driving on motorways 

Then pay for the taxi, it'll be safer, and get some motorway driving lessons to build your confidence before next time. 

Motorway are actually the easiest and safest roads to drive on. 

150 miles is definitely not too far to do in a single day. especially if you build in a break in the middle for a nice long lunch!

I'm not too sure about motorways being that safe anymore, with the advent of smart motorways. I'm loathe to use them now. 

https://www.businesscar.co.uk/analysis/2021/government-under-fire-as-smart-motorway-death-rates-rise?acceptpolicy=1

Two more people died last weekend on the motorway  outside my own city. They didn't do anything wrong. They broke down and followed the advice given by the government. They didn't make it. 

I think you are being a tad doom and gloom here

I live in a part of the UK where motorways are just two lanes, same as a dual carriageway in the UK , only we can drive a bit faster I learned to drive here and 4 years of country lane driving, I drove Liverpool to London, then London to Scotland - and it was a breeze compared to driving here.

Yes you need to keep your wits about you and keep an eye on all mirrors, but for the most part, drivers on motorways tend to have good lane manners. My heart in mouth moments were joining the motorways, once on them I was fine

I have my heart in my mouth when people zoom on to a motorway or even a dual carriageway sometimes. 

TBagpuss

I think the issues are what you would be most comfortable with, what your In Laws would be comfortable with, and what you feel is safe.

- You driving there to collect them has the advantage that they are not going to be in contact with anyone but you, whereas if you get  taxi then they are going to with a stranger in a small enclosed space, which even if they'll wear masks is potentially uncomfortable and carries some increased risk, although if your ILs have had their second jabs.

- They may feel more comfortable requesting comfort breaks if they are travelling with you rather than with a stranger. (and if you travel avoiding motorways you may also be able to plan to stop at quieter places, if you do need breaks)

- It sounds as through your and your souse may find the drive tiring / stressful, so rom that perspective, there is an upside to getting a taxi.

- do the two of you work? If not, then a third option might be to rent a place from yourselves, close to your ILs so you can spend time with them without staying in their home, so they don't need to travel and they also don't need to do  any extra work to look after you as guests. 

In your place, I would discuss it with them to see what their preferences are, and with your souse to see if you have a definite preference. 

silvercar

Sounds like it would be far easier if you went to stay with them rather than expecting them to travel to you.
You could split the driving and feel at less risk if you need to stop. You could decide to isolate before hand and take lateral flow tests before you leave.

We did similar to visit my in-laws last weekend, we are in our 50s, in-laws in their 80s. 200 miles each way. We waited until last week end so all 4 of us are 2 weeks past our second vaccine. Hasn’t seen them face to face for 18 months, though we do zoom weekly.

we went up and down in a day, early start and late home, but they appreciated the visit. Our understanding was that current England covid rules mean we couldn’t legally stay overnight. Maybe your in-laws have greater care need that allow you to form a care or support bubble.
 

elsien

OP are you in a support bubble with them? 

Because if not if you’re following the guidance you need to wait for the restrictions to further lift. It’s outdoor visits only at present, so even if you go and stay nearby you’d still not be about to go in their house so any visits would be weather dependant. 

[Deleted User]

elsien said:

OP are you in a support bubble with them? 

Because if not if you’re following the guidance you need to wait for the restrictions to further lift. It’s outdoor visits only at present, so even if you go and stay nearby you’d still not be about to go in their house so any visits would be weather dependant. 

No we're not - at the moment - this is planned for a few weeks

Thanks for the advice

Spendless

Another option - you could go on holiday now to where your relatives live so long as you stay in self contained accommodation. You would then be allowed to see them outdoors eg for an outside pub meal or in their garden.

If you want to wait until further restrictions ease, from 17 May you can stay overnight in a hotel at the minute this is only for specific reasons. You could wait until there's more announcements made to see what the easing of restrictions are.

What mode of transport is used, I'd make that decision on how comfortable you feel about traveling there and back even with an overnight stay or using a long distance taxi, taking your relatives need into account too.