Help with the difficult situation we are in (seller has pulled out)

TranceNRG

LAD917 said:

I dislike chains for many reasons and (as a person with no children or pets) generally find the inconvenience of moving twice to be the lesser of two evils.  Storage is cheap.

Look at it this way: you have a sure loss of £7K if you move into a rental + storage, v. a potential loss of £20K or more if you need to remarket your property and get offers closer to the sub-£500K offers you received previously.  Plus you have the risk that you aren't "proceedable" when the the next right property comes along.

If you move into a rental, you are at least a chain-free buyer ready to move quickly when the next right house comes along.  You'll have to determine how much that's worth to you, but it's definitely worth something to me.

Unless you're really sure you can get £520K+ from another buyer, I'd proceed to completion with this offer before the Stamp Duty holiday ends / the buyers walk.  The fact that your other offers were much lower would further convince me to take it v. take my chances remarketing.

Yeah fair point. We are seriously considering this option but need to speak to our estate agent first. He's been away this week.

We are not on a massive hurry to move. We've been thinking about buying a house before we have kids and then the government introduced stamp duty savings so we thought it was a good time to move. 

GrumpyDil

Still not old age but as per Adrian's my money is on her realising that as soon as she sold the house she'd be forced to pay any care home fees for her mum. 

TranceNRG

GrumpyDil said:

Still not old age but as per Adrian's my money is on her realising that as soon as she sold the house she'd be forced to pay any care home fees for her mum. 

Yeah maybe but she told me something else first (she didn't want to buy the flat that she made the offer on) and this is what she's told her EA as well. We now know she's completley unreliable. We are angry she wasted our time and energy and used us. We could have gone for another house, could have used stamp duty savings and avoided all the stress.

TranceNRG

AdrianC said:

TranceNRG said:

We are just upset that we helped her but she wasted our time and energy.

Honestly... that was weird and more than a bit pushy on your part.

But it's almost certainly not the real issue.

She ... had planning on getting government funding for her mum.

...then she found out it simply doesn't work like that...

Her mother owned an £800k asset, her home.
Her mother gave that £800k asset away.
Her mother is still viewed by the local authority as having an £800k asset, who disregard that gift as "deprivation of assets".

People with more than ~£20k in assets do not get any funding for her care.

UNLESS

...the £800k property that was their home is still occupied by a relative over 60.

As soon as your vendor moved out of that property and sold it, the mother would be seen as having gifted £800k in cash, not a property occupied by an elderly relative. Ergo, Mum would be responsible for her own care costs. Grand a week, probably, maybe more.

THAT is why your vendor decided not to move... I'd put money on it.

She asked us for help. We didn't go forcing it on her. She is a neighbour and only lives a few houses away. And it was more than buying her house. We thought we were doing the right thing by helping her.

Yeah it might be true about her realising having to pay for the nursing home. But she had been planning on doing this for ages (she had spoken to her mum's solicitor) so I find it hard to believe she only found out recently. Anyway at first she told me she didn't want to buy the other flat anymore.

I guess we just need to forget the whole thing and find something else. I think it's a valuable lesson not to trust people like that and don't become friends with the seller.

TranceNRG

Since we need to find something quickly, I wonder if it's worth putting letters through doors of houses on nearby streets asking if they are considering selling their houses.

[Deleted User]

I haven't read all the other responses so this may have been said but firstly, I empathise with the situation you're in, it sounds messy and stressful and you don't need it. 

Secondly, it's an important lesson in boundaries. The lady has asked things of you that shouldn't have been asked in the context of a house purchase. I'm not sure what the protocol is in England, but in Scotland, communication is predominantly through the solicitors, and for good reason. You've been helpful and obliging, now she has dropped out and you are left to pick up the pieces.

I got the sense that there was an element of you feeling sorry for her and wanting to help to the extent you viewed her as a friend. It wasn't meant to be though and I'm sure you'll appreciate that it's a business transaction and your kindness may not be reciprocated! Good luck, and I hope you find something much more suitable!

TranceNRG

Deleted_User said:

I haven't read all the other responses so this may have been said but firstly, I empathise with the situation you're in, it sounds messy and stressful and you don't need it. 

Secondly, it's an important lesson in boundaries. The lady has asked things of you that shouldn't have been asked in the context of a house purchase. I'm not sure what the protocol is in England, but in Scotland, communication is predominantly through the solicitors, and for good reason. You've been helpful and obliging, now she has dropped out and you are left to pick up the pieces.

I got the sense that there was an element of you feeling sorry for her and wanting to help to the extent you viewed her as a friend. It wasn't meant to be though and I'm sure you'll appreciate that it's a business transaction and your kindness may not be reciprocated! Good luck, and I hope you find something much more suitable!

Yes completely. We felt sorry for her as she seemed frail and had been let down by her EA (well at least that's what she told us and I can belive that because her EAs have been completely useless and full of lies). We wouldn't normally get friendly with a seller but only did so because she's a neighbour and she needed our help.
As for communicating through the solicitor, it was a completely ridiculous. Teh solicitor was recommended to her by her EA and she had tried almost a week to get in touch with them but couldn't as she was given the wrong number. I had to then find out her solicitor firm, ring reception and then get in touch with teh solicitor. Have I mentioned her EA have been useless? It took them close to a week to send the memo of sale. This is after me ringing them multiple times and emailing them. 

Yes now we know it was a mistake and we should have never got involved with her and the property in the first place having been warned by our EA and another agent that had spoken to her on the phone. Actually alarm bells rang she she asked us to drop our buyer and sell our flat to her. We told her we don't go back on our word. We probably should have realised she wasn't to be trusted then. 

Anyway we have to put that behind and look to the future, which was the point of this thread. I probably shouldn't have gone to all the details. My mistake!

We are just trying to figure out what to do next. We don't want to let our buyers down either They seem like a nice family. They made an offer on our place hoping things would be completed before end of June. 

gettingtheresometime

Or an alternative theory...she's lonely & just liked the fact somebody was taking an interest in her, even if that person had an invested interest in keeping her sweet

TranceNRG

Anyway we want to move on...What do you think about the following as a way of finding a house, rather than hoping something that we like will come on to the market soon?

"Since we need to find something quickly, I wonder if it's worth putting letters through doors of houses on nearby streets asking if they are considering selling their houses."

[Deleted User]

gettingtheresometime said:

Or an alternative theory...she's lonely & just liked the fact somebody was taking an interest in her, even if that person had an invested interest in keeping her sweet

Yes, very true. I guess we can only surmise and maybe there are things going on for her behind the scenes, especially with her mum being unwell.

OP, like you say, the only thing you can do is move forwards and try to make the best of the situation. As for letters through the doors - there are some previous threads that might be helpful:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4951691/i-want-to-buy-a-property-that-isnt-for-sale
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4102387/leaflet-dropping-to-find-a-house-first-draft-letter
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3089274/posting-letters-through-the-doors-on-a-street-you-would-like-to-live

Good luck!