IVA settled post separation, can I ask my ex to pay half of the settled amount?

in IVA & DRO
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My wife and I entered into an Joint IVA when we were together as we had no way of coping with our level of debt, around £20k. Part of this IVA was £11k of debt from a previous relationship that my wife had described as "only a few thousand" when we met, I was shocked to say the least when I found out the truth.

We separated just over two years ago and when we parted I contacted the IVA Practioner to explain that we had split and that there was no way I could maintain payments. I discovered that the 3 payments breaks that we had where in fact only 2 and we were 11 months in arrears and that she had deceived me over the situation.  It was an abusive relationship in which she financially controlled me.

My ex ignored attempts to contact her, then refused to fill out any I&E and when I finally managed, after 6 months of trying, to get her I&E she was surprised that a meeting of creditors was being called to address the IVA.  At the time I received some large settlements from payday loans and was able get the IVA discharged on the basis of these payments and the fact that neither of us would be able to make any further payments meaning we would need individual agreements or apply for bankruptcy.  Thankfully my proposal was accepted and the IVA was discharged.

Now, we are trying to resolve our financial matters through meditation and I feel that the £3k I paid into the IVA should be acknowledged by her and that she should pay me half of it back.  If I had not made this payment then an option would have been to separate our debts and resolve them individually. Considering the split was around 70/30 she has benefited greatly from the IVA being settled by my actions and hard work in pursuing the PDL settlements.

I feel that she should pay me half of the amount, especially given that she made no contribution to the final settlement and her poor management of the IVA nearly caused the agreement to fail.  Upon completion she was left debt free, which is considerably better than the alternative.

Thanks for thoughts and comment.

Replies

  • TigsteroonieTigsteroonie Forumite
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    Ask for it in the mediation, see what she says. Then decide whether you really want to pursue this for the sake of £1,500 - personally I would say that it's not worth the effort, time, and stress involved if that is the only battleground. 
    :heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls

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  • Sadly, it's not the only sticking point.
  • MalMonroeMalMonroe Forumite
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    You can certainly ask. But given what you've said about your ex, I doubt you will get it. It's been over two years since you separated and all that time between then and now seems to have been really stressful for you. It also sounds as if your ex has problems which she brought with her to your relationship and which may be helped if she receives counselling. But that is not your problem any longer.

    Sometimes, for the sake of your sanity, it's just better to cut your losses, learn from the mistakes and say goodbye and good luck as you go forward and get on with the rest of your life.

    It seems unfair, yes but it appears that you have had a lucky escape. Don't get bogged down in any more of the dross that follows a split. I've been there and done that and it is just not worth it. There are never any real 'winners' in situations like this. You have to know when to let go and I think you know that.
    Please note that comments are strictly my own opinion, intended to help - never hinder. If they do not help then please ignore as the intention of the forum is to help everyone, if possible. MSE forum rules clearly state "no two people have the same circumstances or experiences and it is up to you to investigate, check and check again before you make any decisions or take any action based on information you glean from our community. Remember, don't rely on what you are reading. Verify it and protect yourself. You are responsible for any action you consequently make." It's always best to verify everything. Inappropriate comments will be reported, as per the Forum rules.
  • carlos1973carlos1973 Forumite
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    I'm mainly doing it to pay of the debts incurred to start from scratch again.  Our 2 children live with me now and given that she had them taken from her and placed in care, she's very unlikely to be granted custody. I've spent the last 2 years fighting to get them back to me and out of care.
  • HampshireHHampshireH Forumite
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    Sounds like you would be wasting your time and money pursuing this beyond mediation.

    Doesn't sound like she has any inclination to pay and you would remain stressed out
  • liggerz87liggerz87 Forumite
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    Sorry not much help but also check your credit report and do a dissociation so you unlink you both financially 
  • carlos1973carlos1973 Forumite
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    That was one of the first things I did when she told me she was taking out loans and on the verge of another DMP.  Report thoroughly checked and had her removed as a financial association.
    Thanks.
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite
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    My wife and I entered into an Joint IVA when we were together as we had no way of coping with our level of debt, around £20k.  
    You can`t have a "joint IVA".

    The clue is in the name, "Individual Voluntary Arrangement".

    Do you mean you had two separate IVA`s ?
    Ex MSE Board Guide.

    More than a third of IVA`s fail....fact.
    Could A Debt Relief Order help you ?
    Never pay for a Debt Management Plan.
    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, CitizensAdviceBureaux.
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