Divorce/separation: wife refusing any money..?

Four_Oaks_Bookworm

This is a bit of a weird one.  We are heading towards separation at the least, probably (eventually) divorce.  Co-incidentally (unrelated to any marital issues) we have sold our house subject to contract.  Once the mortgage and a small credit card debt is cleared there will be around £150k equity.  I have suggested to her on multiple occasions that in terms of finances, we just split that equity 50/50 and go our separate ways.  There are no other debts or liabilities on either side, we have one joint bank account and she has no credit cards in her name.  On each occasion she's said 'I don't want any money from you', but she's an only child, estranged from her (widowed) mother, and I think she's being a bit silly/ (proud?) about not accepting her share, espeically as she doesn't work apart from casual cash-in-hand equating to less than £2k/year

We've been married for 22 years, have two teenage kids, and I just want to make sure that she is not wilfully making herself destitute/homeless.  The kids would probably divide their time equally but only if she has somewhere to live: can I (or anyone legal) force her to accept the 50% of what's left?  Is this just a too simplistic view of how it works? 
TIA

comeandgo

Do you have any private pension?  If it’s value is £150,000 then she may be allowed all the equity and you keep your pension intact.

AskAsk

i think you would need to formally agree a split of assets and if she doesn't want anything and you feel she should have a share, you could always keep it in a separate account and let her know that you will hand it over to her whenever she needs it, or to the children.

Four_Oaks_Bookworm

I have a small private pension (<50k) but am not yet 50 so not accessible.  Wife has an even smaller pension (<12k) from when she worked pre-kids.  tbh we haven't even got that far, had no idea that this would be taken into consideration legally?

comeandgo

All assets are looked at.  You need to get a proper valuation and she is entitled to half.  Pension providers are used to splitting pensions but usually the value is taken in other ways, like she takes more of the equity in the house.  Do you have any cars? Again this is an asset that needs to be divided.

Four_Oaks_Bookworm

We have a car each (one in each name), car costs (fuel, insurance, tax etc) are shared.    The rest is just 'stuff' (house contents, furniture etc, nothing of great £), there are no other major assets

billy2shots

Wife refusing any money?

Or

Wife refusing to accept and sign a deal with you?



They are two completely different statements/ questions.


She will not agree to half the house proceeds with you informally when she might be entitled to more if she takes things formally through solicitors. 

As others have already said, 50% of your joint 'wealth' could well be more than the £75k 'you'(?) have offered.


Alternatively she may very well be an independent woman who only wants what she feels is rightfully hers. 

Four_Oaks_Bookworm

to be perfectly frank, I don't think she's even considered trying to get anything more, she's proud and stubborn and obviously isn't thinking straight.  (she's also never really had much involvement in family finances other than housekeeping and her car, certainly not to the extent of knowing 'what she's worth.' We're nowhere near drawing up or signing any kind of agreement (not that she'd sign anything anyway rn); I'd be happy to involve a solicitor but I'm not sure she would even want this either.

Sea_Shell

When you say you have teenage kids, are they 18/19 or 13?

Are they old enough (adults) to be involved and understand the implications of Mum wanting nothing both now and in the future?

Would she agree to them receiving her share, if she won't accept it for herself?

Sea_Shell

Where will she live after your sale completes?

Four_Oaks_Bookworm

Child #1 is 17 going on 18, Child #2 is 14.  So they would very much understand what's going on and the implications.  It looks like they would spend the majority of the time with me post-separation (they are one of her reasons for wanting 'out', but that's for another website/forum...), so whilst I'd be happy to put the money into trust for them, it kinda defeats the object of making sure that she is provided for.