Getting married soon, need help on financial implications please 8 April 2021 at 11:11AM in Marriage, relationships & families 34 replies 2.3K views

Soledad19

Hi all,
me and my partner are getting married in a month. We don't plan to live together, we're doing it to secure our rights as a married couple in case one of us needs help in older age.
I have some doubts regarding the financial implications of getting married though. We wouldn't want anything to change and, more importantly, we wouldn't want things to get nasty and sour, from an economical settlement point of view, in case, as it happens, the marriage breaks down.
We both work and have our own economic independence. We both own our own places with savings on the side.
Is there anything that could threaten our financial positions should we divorce?
Thanks for your expertise....

burlingtonfl6

You don't sound like you should be getting married

NBLondon

I don't often agree with burlington - but that does sound as if you are getting married primarily for tax purposes?  Or to secure status as next of kin?

Possibly the biggest factor is how old you are now and how long the marriage might last before you either a) divorce or b) become dependent.

You could draw up a pre-nuptial agreement - or better still, marry in a country where they are legal.

AskAsk

is this a wind up thread?

CookieMonster

Are the 'rights as a married couple' worth more than half your pension, half the combined total values of the houses, it'll affect how you can pass property, money and possessions onto your loved ones etc.
Living separately may not protect your assets if one of you need to enter care (if that is one intention).
What about a civil partnership?
As for splitting up/divorce: the person you divorce isn't the same person that you married...

Marriage is a very bad idea for the partner with more net worth/better future prospects of worth.

Soledad19

Thank you, and no, we're not trying to wind up anyone. We are both in our 50s and very keen to tie the knot. We have probably seen too many couples ending up in wars and that may explain why we got to our age single. I think our question comes out of fear, we love each other so much that we dread the possibility that in future we may hurt each other financially, as we have seen other couples ending up doing.
That's why the idea of asking you, we're only enquiring if there is a way we can shield us from this happening...

TBagpuss

You can enter into a pre-nuptial agreement - you would each need to get separate legal advice and provide (at least in summary form) disclosure of your current financial position.

A pre-nup is not strictly legally enforceable but has a couple of key benefits:

1. It forces you to think about, and discuss, your assumptions and expectations about marriage and finances so that you can, hopefully, identify and address and major differences in your assumptions / expectations

2. If the marriage does break down, then having the agreement in place reduces the risk of there being acrimony over the finances, as in most cases you can simply do what you agreed.

3. If the marriage breaks down  and you don't agree, because one of you wants to change the agreed terms, then a court has the over-riding requirement to come to a settlement which is fair to you both, and reasonable in all the circumstances. The existence of the pre-nup is part of  the circumstances they take into account, so they would normally tart rom the position of "justify to me why moving away form the agreement is fair" rather than "we start at 50/50 of everything and adjust to take account of needs and other factors)

A court can make an order which is different to what s in the agreement, particularly if the marriage is along one or where there have been significant changes since the agreement was signed, but courts in general tend to start rom the point of view that if you have agreed to something you should normally be expected to keep to your agreement, unless there is a very strong reason why that would result in an unfair outcome 

In your case, as you don't plan to live together, an agreement could include provisions that you would each retain any property or assets in your sole names, and could also explicitly state that if you do cohabit in future you will own any joint property in the proportions in which yo contribute to it's price, for instance. You can also explicitly state that it is your intention to continue to keep your finances separate and that you don't intend to have any financial claims against any new assets either of you acquires in your sole names. 

None of this stops you making arrangements in your wills to leave assets to each other, or from making financial gifts while you are together.

It's also possible to have post-nuptial agreements so if in the future you chose to buy a property together or to move in together you could have a new agreement drawn up at that time. 

CookieMonster

Soledad19 said:

Thank you, and no, we're not trying to wind up anyone. We are both in our 50s and very keen to tie the knot. We have probably seen too many couples ending up in wars and that may explain why we got to our age single. I think our question comes out of fear, we love each other so much that we dread the possibility that in future we may hurt each other financially, as we have seen other couples ending up doing.
That's why the idea of asking you, we're only enquiring if there is a way we can shield us from this happening...

Yes: by not getting married.
Pre-nups have little value and can be torn up in court.

jackieblack

Soledad19 said:

Hi all,
me and my partner are getting married in a month. We don't plan to live together, we're doing it to secure our rights as a married couple in case one of us needs help in older age.
I have some doubts regarding the financial implications of getting married though. We wouldn't want anything to change and, more importantly, we wouldn't want things to get nasty and sour, from an economical settlement point of view, in case, as it happens, the marriage breaks down.
We both work and have our own economic independence. We both own our own places with savings on the side.
Is there anything that could threaten our financial positions should we divorce?
Thanks for your expertise....

So you want all the advantages of being married, but not the disadvantages... 🤔 

Soledad19

TBagpuss said:

You can enter into a pre-nuptial agreement - you would each need to get separate legal advice and provide (at least in summary form) disclosure of your current financial position.

A pre-nup is not strictly legally enforceable but has a couple of key benefits:

1. It forces you to think about, and discuss, your assumptions and expectations about marriage and finances so that you can, hopefully, identify and address and major differences in your assumptions / expectations

2. If the marriage does break down, then having the agreement in place reduces the risk of there being acrimony over the finances, as in most cases you can simply do what you agreed.

3. If the marriage breaks down  and you don't agree, because one of you wants to change the agreed terms, then a court has the over-riding requirement to come to a settlement which is fair to you both, and reasonable in all the circumstances. The existence of the pre-nup is part of  the circumstances they take into account, so they would normally tart rom the position of "justify to me why moving away form the agreement is fair" rather than "we start at 50/50 of everything and adjust to take account of needs and other factors)

A court can make an order which is different to what s in the agreement, particularly if the marriage is along one or where there have been significant changes since the agreement was signed, but courts in general tend to start rom the point of view that if you have agreed to something you should normally be expected to keep to your agreement, unless there is a very strong reason why that would result in an unfair outcome 

In your case, as you don't plan to live together, an agreement could include provisions that you would each retain any property or assets in your sole names, and could also explicitly state that if you do cohabit in future you will own any joint property in the proportions in which yo contribute to it's price, for instance. You can also explicitly state that it is your intention to continue to keep your finances separate and that you don't intend to have any financial claims against any new assets either of you acquires in your sole names. 

None of this stops you making arrangements in your wills to leave assets to each other, or from making financial gifts while you are together.

It's also possible to have post-nuptial agreements so if in the future you chose to buy a property together or to move in together you could have a new agreement drawn up at that time. 

Thank you, that's very helpful. I know from friends that some countries in Europe ask you to choose between the option of sharing what you had before the marriage or keep it separate, and this choice has to be made before the ceremony and is an integral part of it. I take it UK law has none of this?

Would you happen to know where we can find reliable but not extortionate legal advice to draft such agreement?
Thanks again.

AskAsk

Soledad19 said:

Thank you, and no, we're not trying to wind up anyone. We are both in our 50s and very keen to tie the knot. We have probably seen too many couples ending up in wars and that may explain why we got to our age single. I think our question comes out of fear, we love each other so much that we dread the possibility that in future we may hurt each other financially, as we have seen other couples ending up doing.
That's why the idea of asking you, we're only enquiring if there is a way we can shield us from this happening...

you should not get married for tax reasons or financial reasons, you should only get married for love, and there is actually no reason to get married at all except to build a stable family unit.  you could just carry on as you are and it would keep things a lot simpler. 

having been married myself, i can say it is definitely over rated.