One beneficiary is living in the family home . Will shares the property to the three children .

xylophone

The executors must abide by the terms of the will.


If the will leaves the entire estate to be shared equally between you and your siblings, then it is quite irrelevant what may or may not have been said in conversations between the occupying sibling executor and your mother.

Once probate has been granted, you and your brother will need to insist on your legal rights - if the  occupying sibling resists, then you will need to take legal advice concerning forcing a sale.

Manxman_in_exile

I agree that the executors must be governed by the express terms of the will and not by any unwritten "wishes" your mother may or may not have made.

My concern would be that unless you can get your brother onside to see this from the same point of view as yourself, this could become quite messy and expensive.  How much is the house worth?  Could your sister buy out your third share?  Or would you want to wait until your pension kicks in and benefits cease?

I don't want to pry, but reading your sister's email is there some history of conflict between you?

LUTONTOWN1

                               Oh yes there is "history",  she, when my father was ill , would not allow me to help and "took control" and in effect forced me out .  That is a far as I will go on that subject . 
 There is no question of buying anyone out , neither of the parties would be in a position to do so . If she suddenly relented in her attitude and were to agree to the house sale . The property is in a very good location ,and would be snapped up due to its potential . A estate agent said when discussing  value, and I mention a figure he said " i will pay that tomorrow for it  " . Property in the area are in excess of £325000 . A developer would jump at it .    I would say it was possibly the best located property of  the whole area . So there would be no problem selling .   
                                          

Flugelhorn

the key  is that your sister is the one who should feel hard done by by her parents, they verbally promised the property but didn't do anything about assuring her right to stay there. She has to accept what the will says.

ladysummerisle

As your sister suggests, it can be beneficial to have someone around to take care of the house. Offer to move in..!

My mother in law died fairly suddenly a few years back, no will, 3 children. My sister in law blocked access to my husband, ignored all requests when he gained administration, seemed aggrieved that accounts were closed and she actually had to cover utilities herself in the interim. She eventually  moved out, taking absolutely everything. There is no limit to people’s sense of entitlement. This is a situation that will only decline.

Dymphna60

Sorry for your loss OP . 

However as an unconnected outsider I do not see an awful email from your sister . 

I see evidence of conflict in your relationship and exasperation. 

You have already accused her of undue influence on your mother to cut you out of the will which she has provided you a copy of the will to see that this is not true . 

It is less than 3 months since your mother’s death . 

She says that her and your brother as executors , are preparing to apply for probate . Probably the majority of the gathering of information will be done by your sister as she is in the best position to know your mother’s affairs. This can take some time even in pre Covid times . 

You interpret the staying in the house as long as she wants to mean for years / the rest of her life she may mean only for a reasonable period to find arrange for the clearing and sale of the house after probate has been granted .
Staying in the property to protect your mother’s estate as is included in an executors duties is not unreasonable. 

12 months from death to the distribution of the estate is not an unreasonable time period. 

You say that your mother spent her final few months in a care home . Do you know how this was paid for ? Did your mother have large pensions or savings to cover it ? If not the bill from the care home may need to be paid from the sale of the house . 

They will want the bill paying . 

Yes there is always the potential for executors to fail to properly administer the estate and I would imagine more so when one of them is living in a property that has to be sold and family relationships are strained . 

So it is not unreasonable for you to keep a close eye on what is happening . To ask for updates if you don’t hear in the next couple of months that probate has been obtained and what the next steps are . 

Again sorry for your loss. 

RAS

Dymphna60 said:

You say that your mother spent her final few months in a care home . Do you know how this was paid for ? Did your mother have large pensions or savings to cover it ? If not the bill from the care home may need to be paid from the sale of the house . 

They will want the bill paying . 

There is a mandatory disregard if the property is occupied by a relative or member of the family who is over 60 years of age, in addition to the basic 12 week disregard.

LUTONTOWN1

Flugelhorn said:

the key  is that your sister is the one who should feel hard done by by her parents, they verbally promised the property but didn't do anything about assuring her right to stay there. She has to accept what the will says.

                       No they did not .My father certainly would not have said that . My sister has convinced herself ,in her head, that is what they wanted .It is not . Her discussing it with her own children ,is not discussing it amongst "the family" .   My mother was strong willed,  at  the time of signing the new will ,knew what she was doing . A couple of years later she was diagnosed with dementia , so was in no stable mind to promise or agree to anything this important .  She NEVER  said anything to my brother or me about what my sister is claiming .   

LUTONTOWN1

RAS said

There is a mandatory disregard if the property is occupied by a relative or member of the family who is over 60 years of age, in addition to the basic 12 week disregard.

        I do not understand this bit .  I was just not told anything . 

Manxman_in_exile

I think he means there's no danger of a late bill for care home fees turning up because your sister is (presumably) over 60 if her son is 45.