Sorting my girlfriends debts with her

fatbelly

She's got her electricity on a prepay meter so it sounds like she has her own place.
She's found out that water cannot be disconnected so she doesn't pay it.
She is on ESA and probably below the LHA rate for her region so rent is covered by HB.
The 'not paying council tax' sounds unlikely unless she lives in one of the 30 or so regions who still give 100% support to those on basic benefits. More likely that she had a small top-up, didn't pay it and has direct deductions from her ESA.

Edit: she may be paying water by direct deduction from benefit

[Deleted User]

I'm with others here. Someone who won't discuss their problems is not someone I'd want to bet my entire future on. 

So you move in together. Meanwhile some of the companies she owes money to enlist a debt collection agency, who may send bailiffs round to her home address to take some of her stuff to offset against the debt. Guess who else's address that is, who else's stuff is there.

So at some point you need to borrow a big chunk of money. Guess who you're financially associated with on the various credit reference agency databases, that's right, someone that routinely defaults, and won't even attempt to settle up.

buythedip

Don’t apply for a joint mortgage obviously... 

Mojisola

cooners said:

She gets ESA and PIP

Once you move in together, as others have said, it's likely that her ESA will stop.

How is she going to repay debts when she only has PIP as income, especially as she will still want the money to spend on tat?

Realistically, you're going to end up paying them.

Disastrous start to a life together.

I'm another one who would draw a line and insist on full disclosure or she doesn't move in with you.

Mojisola

cooners said:

Trouble is she won't talk about it. Everytime I bring it up she clams up and says it triggers her anxiety so change the subject.

Is this the way she gets out of any unpleasant discussion?

It's going to be very hard to live with someone who uses this as an 'out' every time a serious matter has to be talked through.

Karonher

I would certainly hold back on moving in together. Make it clear to her that getting a house is dependent on her clearing a load of the debt and not running up any more.

I'm not sure if paying you rent would be considered as her contributing to the mortgage but I would look into that but if she is your lodger you may be a little more covered.

As I say I am not sure but it may be worth looking into.

fatbelly

Need to be careful on that last idea. She is currently claiming housing benefit and if she thinks she can present the new situation as a tenancy may be tempted to do this in order to claim HB.

Eventually this would be found to be a 'contrived tenancy' 

We're all being very negative, sorry. I think the OP should say that we'll continue with the relationship as it is but when your debts are all settled and all your payments are up to date we'll have a chat about you moving in. That includes the mobile phone debt.

Billy_B_North

It seems that the partner is clinically obese, unemployed, secretive, manipulative and has severe debt issues based on what the OP has written in several threads. OP, you’ve painted a very negative picture so far, what is it that you’re getting out of this relationship?

cooners

fatbelly said:

Need to be careful on that last idea. She is currently claiming housing benefit and if she thinks she can present the new situation as a tenancy may be tempted to do this in order to claim HB.

Eventually this would be found to be a 'contrived tenancy' 

We're all being very negative, sorry. I think the OP should say that we'll continue with the relationship as it is but when your debts are all settled and all your payments are up to date we'll have a chat about you moving in. That includes the mobile phone debt.

I think you make some good points. 
I've made it clear as crystal to her we are going to be honest about living together after people told us to cheat and make her a lodger, I don't want to worry about being done for fraud down the line so I'll be making sure she updates her living status just before we move in.
As for her debts I think your right and we need to sit down and talk. She does genuinely get anxious about these things so it will be hard. I've seen her shaking and nearly crying when talking to the water board even though the guy on the phone was amazing to her and they've basically offered to massively reduce the bill as long as she actually pays the rest on time!
I just want her to see how I manage my bills and copy it (basically work out my bills for the month then put the money away for those until they are due so I know what I have left to buy stuff).
I guess we could choose the house together but I tell her to at least sort some of her debt before she moves in.
I don't mind helping her out with it but I'm not paying 100% of it for.

Sncjw

Sorry but if your getting the mortgage in your name, paying the mortgage and paying all the bills I think you should be the one who decides where to live as your the one who will have it if you ever split up. Plus she won't be contributing anything to the house.

What do you get from all of this.. She gets a house and bills paid for.. It won't teach her anything if its being paid by someone else.