Aghhh - why do people bid if they can’t buy

Thrugelmir

Deedoodee said:

 The estate agent forces a bidding war, adding lots of pressure to someone who is probably putting down their life savings down for something they viewed for 30mins (the old adage that we look at buying a dress to wear once more times and for longer than a house comes to mind).

Estate agents don't force anyone to do anything. People get carried away in the heat of the moment. Calling a time out and asking to view again is always wise. Common sense should dictate when to pull out of bidding. Houses are like buses. They'll be another one along soon enough. 

Deedoodee

Thrugelmir said:

Deedoodee said:

 The estate agent forces a bidding war, adding lots of pressure to someone who is probably putting down their life savings down for something they viewed for 30mins (the old adage that we look at buying a dress to wear once more times and for longer than a house comes to mind).

Estate agents don't force anyone. People get carried away in the heat of the moment. Calling a time out and asking to view again is always wise. Common sense should dictate when to pull out of bidding. Houses are like buses. They'll be another one along soon enough. 

Forced is the wrong word, apologies. But they do lead people into the heat of the moment. I tried to buy a years ago and was told that I could not view again because it would be sold by then. And at many viewings by many different agents, almost everytime I was told that it’s a ‘sellers market’ and there were multiple offers on the table. (on one occasion, I knew they were lying because I knew the upstairs neighbour who knew the vendor). Or told I had 12hrs to decide final bids. Etc. While the agents aren’t forcing bids directly, they are significantly contributing to that heated, immediate culture, described by earlier posters.  no one here is forced to buy a house or legally bound until exchange. So bidding for houses doesn’t necessarily mean what the OP said re: functioning adults are expected to follow through. Perhaps they called time out and their common sense clicked in after the bidding. Which they are allowed to do, in the same way estate agents use their questionable tactics.

Redwino222

Deedoodee said: he

‘Functioning adult’ is unnecessarily disparaging. Part of this is due to greed, not necessarily from you. The estate agent forces a bidding war, adding lots of pressure to someone who is probably putting down their life savings down for something they viewed for 30mins (the old adage that we look at buying a dress to wear once more times and for longer than a house comes to mind). That person might later change their mind and we have a system in England where they are legally allowed to do that,  in the same way a vendor might change their mind. If it’s becoming a problem for you, maybe you could consider changing how you’re selling your house, rather than have an agent piling on the pressure to get the highest price. If you want a sale, hire an agent who will look for the most proceed-able, rather than one who’s playing buyers against each other to get more money. 

Also, possibly the buyer is a fully functioning adult and aware of ‘the system’, and is bidding on a few houses, knowing they’re not legally committed until exchange, and yours was a back-up, that was later not required. 

Gaming a flawed system happens on both sides. 

I suppose the functioning adult comment was a bit harsh and was I. Response to the comment that the estate agent should explain what bidding means to first time buyers.

One of my bidders pulled out because his mum and dad said no.  Which just seemed outrageous a week after a bid was made and accepted.  He should have had his ducks  in a row before hand, and if he needed their permission they should have been part of the decision making process.  Other bidders walked away because he pushed it so high.  He checked out as a buyer.  I had no idea we were also supposed to check parental approval was in place. 

and the greed comment does annoy me. I am not greedy, but I am selling my biggest asset, it is not greedy to want the best price.  It’s rationale. 

I put it on the market at a reasonable price - I expected people bidding on it to understand that they are not the only people impacted.  No one is forcing them to bid.  I put no pressure on people.  I let it play out - no deadlines.  Wasting a house sellers time can have major implications.  I am also buying, also viewing and bidding.  It’s a complex, high stakes system.  It just annoys me some stumble in, push prices up, impact everyone and get to sale agreed then waste days or weeks before they change their mind.  

Going forward I will ask for more proof that the person is in a financial position to buy, however you can’t get proof they aren’t flighty.

sorry long rant.  It’s a very stressful process and people can just be awful. 

Redwino222

Just re read my post and (after correcting an embarrassing typo😊) I have realised this whole thing is stressing me out too much!

I will have a weekend if not thinking about houses or mortgages or solicitors and decide whether to proceed with this next week.  

I now understand why this rates as one of the most stressful thing to do. I am ready to kill dead things and this is only the start😂😂

Deedoodee

Redwino222 said:

Deedoodee said: he

‘Functioning adult’ is unnecessarily disparaging. Part of this is due to greed, not necessarily from you. The estate agent forces a bidding war, adding lots of pressure to someone who is probably putting down their life savings down for something they viewed for 30mins (the old adage that we look at buying a dress to wear once more times and for longer than a house comes to mind). That person might later change their mind and we have a system in England where they are legally allowed to do that,  in the same way a vendor might change their mind. If it’s becoming a problem for you, maybe you could consider changing how you’re selling your house, rather than have an agent piling on the pressure to get the highest price. If you want a sale, hire an agent who will look for the most proceed-able, rather than one who’s playing buyers against each other to get more money. 

Also, possibly the buyer is a fully functioning adult and aware of ‘the system’, and is bidding on a few houses, knowing they’re not legally committed until exchange, and yours was a back-up, that was later not required. 

Gaming a flawed system happens on both sides. 

I suppose the functioning adult comment was a bit harsh and was I. Response to the comment that the estate agent should explain what bidding means to first time buyers.

One of my bidders pulled out because his mum and dad said no.  Which just seemed outrageous a week after a bid was made and accepted.  He should have had his dicks in a row before hand, and if he needed their permission they should have been part of the decision making process.  Other bidders walked away because he pushed it so high.  He checked out as a buyer.  I had no idea we were also supposed to check parental approval was in place. 

and the greed comment does annoy me. I am not greedy, but I am selling my biggest asset, it is not greedy to want the best price.  It’s rationale. 

I put it on the market at a reasonable price - I expected people bidding on it to understand that they are not the only people impacted.  No one is forcing them to bid.  I put no pressure on people.  I let it play out - no deadlines.  Wasting a house sellers time can have major implications.  I am also buying, also viewing and bidding.  It’s a complex, high stakes system.  It just annoys me some stumble in, push prices up, impact everyone and get to sale agreed then waste days or weeks before they change their mind.  

Going forward I will ask for more proof that the person is in a financial position to buy, however you can’t get proof they aren’t flighty.

sorry long rant.  It’s a very stressful process and people can just be awful. 

Apologies, the greed comment was not directed to you, (which I can see now, really wasn’t clear). It’s more about the EA and that whole culture around it.  You might not think you’re pressuring people but your agent might be. I’ve been on the buyer side, and very close to the vendor side. What does getting the best price mean? I’ve put in offers at asking and then been told the vendor decided they wanted more, conveniently after I‘d sent the EA my proof of funds, which also showed my low-ish LTV.  A vendor is selling their biggest asset, the buyer is putting all their cash (which is possibly all their assets of any value) into the purchase. The rationale applies on both sides. I’m hoping to try to apply a calmer approach to house buying when I try again, but I don’t know how it will work. Apologies if it sounds like I’m ‘attacking’ you. I’m not trying to. I just think there are multiple very different POV’s and it’s sadly no where near as simple as put in  offer, buy house. Good luck with your sale and purchase.

The ‘parent said no’ I agree is a little odd. 

lookstraightahead

Why encourage a bidding war? All it does is make people over excitable and then back out when they realise (a) it's overpriced, (b) they think their mortgage company will 'under' value it (c) they can't afford it, (d) the estate agent has rushed them into a progressive manipulation situation and they acted in haste because there was "so much interest".
Or a multitude of other reasons.
I personally wouldn't even get involved in any kind of bidding.
also worth noting that they are perfectly entitled to be as flighty as they like. Just as you can change your mind at any point.

Redwino222

Okay yes I am sorry.  People can change their mind as can I 

I really regret starting this thread - I was annoyed at being messed around And it has just made me feel worse🥺.  Sorry all - should never post when angry and stressed 

NinjaTune

Redwino222 said:

Okay yes I am sorry.  People can change their mind as can I 

I really regret starting this thread - I was annoyed at being messed around And it has just made me feel worse🥺.  Sorry all - should never post when angry and stressed 

Don't apologise, your feelings are valid and so is this thread re: the situation you're in.

Buyers pulling out is impacting on your ability to offer on properties so of course you are feeling frustrated.

Fingers crossed you find the 'right' buyer soon and things can start to move forward

lr1277

You could go down the route of only accepting offers from proceedable buyers but that has its own pitfalls. This board is littered with threads from buyers saying the estate agent was awful asking me unnecessary questions like the size of my deposit, whether I had a deposit in place etc. Now it is not your job or the EA’s to be nice to the buyers so you could go ahead with this action. But this may put some buyers off. You should scan this board for some of those threads.
At least your EA seems to be forwarding all the offers. Again a few threads on here about suspicions of not forwarding offers to vendors unless the buyer uses the EA’s conveyancer and mortgage broker. Unless that is the case, which is why buyers are dropping out because initially agreeing to use the EA’s people, change their mind and pull out. If that were the case I might have expected a note through your door explaining the EA’s behaviour and the fact the buyer was still interested. But FTB’s may not have the experience or advice to put a note through your door.
One way forward is to take on a 2nd agent simultaneously. You will pay a higher fee to the one who finds you a buyer and you may need to sign new sales agreements, thereby resetting the clock on when you can cancel the agreement. Also do not accept an offer from a buyer who came through your 2nd agent when they had already been introduced to your property by the 1st agent.
HTH

[Deleted User]

I really do think you should just market your property at a price that you are happy with. Bidding wars help no one unless you are on location, location. 

Only once have I ever got involved with bidding ON a property. It was so stressful waiting, Id already talked myself out of wanting it to mitigate any disappointment if I didnt get it!.....  I DID get it after a wait and by then I DIDN’T want it.