Boyfriend moving into my flat!

jay1804

Personally I think he should pay half (Or what you suggested is more than acceptable) or not move in. If you were renting a place wouldn't you half the costs?

In order to live somewhere you normally have to pay costs, it shouldn't matter where the money going: your mortgage/saving's, Landlord's pocket or council. At the end of the day, if he's going to be a long term partner/husband, he would eventually get back what he puts in. 

getmore4less

Megan123456 said:

getmore4less said:

One issue with mortgage interest is it is not a fixed number it changes over time(see calc at bottom) with a repayment mortgage and depends on variables unrelated to occupation value.

Anyway a bit of self indulgence here.

When you said your mortgage was £500 split £270 interest £230 capital my immediate though was that must be high rate and/or long term  but that was gut so I thought I would check my gut.

I did a mini spreadsheet to look at a question asked a while back about how much of a mortgage payment is capital.
it varies with rate and term.

Y\R	05	10	15	20	25	30
00.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%
00.50%	97.53%	95.12%	92.78%	90.49%	88.25%	86.07%
01.00%	95.12%	90.49%	86.08%	81.88%	77.89%	74.09%
01.50%	92.78%	86.08%	79.86%	74.10%	68.75%	63.78%
02.00%	90.49%	81.89%	74.10%	67.05%	60.68%	54.91%
02.50%	88.26%	77.90%	68.76%	60.68%	53.56%	47.27%
03.00%	86.09%	74.11%	63.80%	54.92%	47.28%	40.70%
03.50%	83.97%	70.50%	59.20%	49.71%	41.74%	35.05%
04.00%	81.90%	67.08%	54.94%	44.99%	36.85%	30.18%
04.50%	79.89%	63.82%	50.98%	40.73%	32.53%	25.99%
05.00%	77.92%	60.72%	47.31%	36.86%	28.72%	22.38%

now £230/£500 is  46%(you probably rounded so could be a range of something like 43%-49%) 

That suggests the term is in the 25+ range  or very high LTV to go over 3% for a shorter term and smaller mortgage
with interest around £270 we have for a £500 payment  we get numbers around 
25 years £104k at 3.1%  
30 years £126k at 2.55%
35 years £145k at 2.2%
if we go with later after 1 year on repayment

amount	rate	payment	owing
£145,000.00	2.25%	£499.14	£142,244.48

the interest drops from £272pm  to £267pm

Thank you this really helped! My situation is one of your examples so your calculations are pretty much right (I'd simplified the figs. a bit but not much).

So I guess the point being if I do want him to contribute to half of the 'in the bin' costs of the flat (aka those that don't contribute to acquiring real equity - which I naturally should pay for), I would need to check in with it every 6 months ish and reduce his costs accordingly by £10 or more depending on what it is. 

.The point is the the interest is the cost of owning that bit of property that might go up or down.  and the interest cost changes over time.

What you are saying is if you had bough the place for cash you would not charge, or if you borrowed of the bank of mum and dad at 0% you would not charge......


lets go with some thing like £120k mortgage 80% LTV you put in £30k, bought for £150k
paying the interest on 1/2 the mortgage is as if he had bought 40% of the property.

Say in 2 years the place is worth £160k(6.7% over 2y hopefully more than the mortgage rate)  you get to pocket £4k of the £10k rise that he has paid for.

you can't really have it both ways protect your interests 100% but have him pay for some of that protection.

I agree there is utility value and benefit to him of living in your place but it is not tied or related to the cost of interest on your borrowings.

He also has the option to just stay living at home and just come round a lot and pay nothing.....
or maybe it could be  thanks for letting me live in your nice place I will pay for the nice holiday. 

I  think keeping the purchase clean for a couple of years makes sense as you are wanting to protect your interest until you are very sure this is not going to go wrong and you can commit to something joint on a longer term basis .

MFWannabe

MovingForwards said:

If it's security for you, then just have 50% of gas, electric, council tax, internet / TV package / licence another normal bills, not associated with the flat eg no mortgage, interest, ground rent.

Ask your OH to put half the mortgage into a savings account(s) to start building up a deposit to go with your equity deposit.

Then if things don't work out, you have your flat, he has his deposit to buy / rent his own place.

Agree with this👍 

Then your OH wont have any claim on your property, but will feel he is building up savings for your future together and you will both hopefully have the same amount to put into your property you buy together. 

And you can both start enjoying living together 

getmore4less

MFWannabe said:

MovingForwards said:

If it's security for you, then just have 50% of gas, electric, council tax, internet / TV package / licence another normal bills, not associated with the flat eg no mortgage, interest, ground rent.

Ask your OH to put half the mortgage into a savings account(s) to start building up a deposit to go with your equity deposit.

Then if things don't work out, you have your flat, he has his deposit to buy / rent his own place.

Agree with this👍 

Then your OH wont have any claim on your property, but will feel he is building up savings for your future together and you will both hopefully have the same amount to put into your property you buy together. 

And you can both start enjoying living together 

if incomes are about equal then saving the same as the mortgage £500pm rather than 1/2 would keep a balance of disposables.

He's currently living with parents after just being bought out of his old mortgage.

He may want to adjust a bit depending on where his current savings are,  a good 2 year goal would be to have around the same total as you have for savings and equity ready  for the next move so it can be done 50:50

Capri84

It’s good that it’s a conversation and consideration - shows you’ve got your head screwed on. Moving in together is one of the first big stress testers of any relationship, and it’s good to plan for any future eventuality and not leave yourself shafted financially because you run into something without giving it due thought and consideration. 

Around a decade ago, I jumped in and bought a house for myself and my then partner to live in. She had a flat which I’d paid half the bills for, and she decided to rent it out as a ‘nest egg’ for the future. When (inevitably) there were times when there were no tenants, I paid the mortgage on it as I earnt the larger wage. Her grandmother gifted us the deposit to enable me to buy a house and all was rosey. 

Fast forward a few years, and we split up. Except now the gifted deposit was considered a ‘loan’ by the family... and Im not a !!!!!!, so agreed to return it. However the houses value had actually fallen and there was a significant shortfall once the house eventually sold which after great debate it was ‘decided’ we should split down the middle. This was despite me paying all bills on the place over the years and actually preferring not to sell (the ‘loan’ was not something I’d be able to raise/service while keeping the house). 

So yeah, I was left with having to sell my house, return to renting, repay the granny; and I’m only just getting back on the property ladder 10+ years later. All because these type of frank/open discussions weren’t had. 

Oh... and the flat I helped pay for... that was forgotten about! Kept all that for herself as it was in her name. More fool me. 

Amazing how things will sour and people will be shafted once relationships falter. You’re doing the right thing. 

Megan123456

jay1804 said:

Personally I think he should pay half (Or what you suggested is more than acceptable) or not move in. If you were renting a place wouldn't you half the costs?

In order to live somewhere you normally have to pay costs, it shouldn't matter where the money going: your mortgage/saving's, Landlord's pocket or council. At the end of the day, if he's going to be a long term partner/husband, he would eventually get back what he puts in. 

Thank you - I've now looked in detail at my calculations (mortgage interest looked a bit higher than I thought it should be!) and it means asking him for £290 a month all in (aka a place to live and all utilities/bills included), which feels very fair. Comparative rent in the area for an all-in deal would be £900 ish (£450 each as a couple) so its a lot less than that and means he can save for our next place as I can naturally through my monthly mortgage payments.

Thank you :-):smile:

Megan123456

getmore4less said:

Megan123456 said:

getmore4less said:

One issue with mortgage interest is it is not a fixed number it changes over time(see calc at bottom) with a repayment mortgage and depends on variables unrelated to occupation value.

Anyway a bit of self indulgence here.

When you said your mortgage was £500 split £270 interest £230 capital my immediate though was that must be high rate and/or long term  but that was gut so I thought I would check my gut.

I did a mini spreadsheet to look at a question asked a while back about how much of a mortgage payment is capital.
it varies with rate and term.

Y\R	05	10	15	20	25	30
00.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%	100.00%
00.50%	97.53%	95.12%	92.78%	90.49%	88.25%	86.07%
01.00%	95.12%	90.49%	86.08%	81.88%	77.89%	74.09%
01.50%	92.78%	86.08%	79.86%	74.10%	68.75%	63.78%
02.00%	90.49%	81.89%	74.10%	67.05%	60.68%	54.91%
02.50%	88.26%	77.90%	68.76%	60.68%	53.56%	47.27%
03.00%	86.09%	74.11%	63.80%	54.92%	47.28%	40.70%
03.50%	83.97%	70.50%	59.20%	49.71%	41.74%	35.05%
04.00%	81.90%	67.08%	54.94%	44.99%	36.85%	30.18%
04.50%	79.89%	63.82%	50.98%	40.73%	32.53%	25.99%
05.00%	77.92%	60.72%	47.31%	36.86%	28.72%	22.38%

now £230/£500 is  46%(you probably rounded so could be a range of something like 43%-49%) 

That suggests the term is in the 25+ range  or very high LTV to go over 3% for a shorter term and smaller mortgage
with interest around £270 we have for a £500 payment  we get numbers around 
25 years £104k at 3.1%  
30 years £126k at 2.55%
35 years £145k at 2.2%
if we go with later after 1 year on repayment

amount	rate	payment	owing
£145,000.00	2.25%	£499.14	£142,244.48

the interest drops from £272pm  to £267pm

Thank you this really helped! My situation is one of your examples so your calculations are pretty much right (I'd simplified the figs. a bit but not much).

So I guess the point being if I do want him to contribute to half of the 'in the bin' costs of the flat (aka those that don't contribute to acquiring real equity - which I naturally should pay for), I would need to check in with it every 6 months ish and reduce his costs accordingly by £10 or more depending on what it is. 

.The point is the the interest is the cost of owning that bit of property that might go up or down.  and the interest cost changes over time.

What you are saying is if you had bough the place for cash you would not charge, or if you borrowed of the bank of mum and dad at 0% you would not charge......


lets go with some thing like £120k mortgage 80% LTV you put in £30k, bought for £150k
paying the interest on 1/2 the mortgage is as if he had bought 40% of the property.

Say in 2 years the place is worth £160k(6.7% over 2y hopefully more than the mortgage rate)  you get to pocket £4k of the £10k rise that he has paid for.

you can't really have it both ways protect your interests 100% but have him pay for some of that protection.

I agree there is utility value and benefit to him of living in your place but it is not tied or related to the cost of interest on your borrowings.

He also has the option to just stay living at home and just come round a lot and pay nothing.....
or maybe it could be  thanks for letting me live in your nice place I will pay for the nice holiday. 

I  think keeping the purchase clean for a couple of years makes sense as you are wanting to protect your interest until you are very sure this is not going to go wrong and you can commit to something joint on a longer term basis .

Thank you - sorry I'd misunderstood this a bit initially but what you have said makes perfect sense!

I think the answer to this lies in your point about it being OK to charge a bit for living there (for me this feels important for us to feel like equal partners sharing a space), but that not being connected to the mortgage in any way, and probably a lesser figure than I originally thought. 

I'm leaning towards suggesting something like £250 - that's half the bills plus £100 for general wear and tear (I am not doing any maintenance/up-selling of the property as it was in nice condition when I bought it, so whilst the area value may go up a bit, the fixings and furnishings we are both using aka what was a brand new kitchen will go down as we use it). Does that sound fair ish from your perspective?

Billy_B_North

The_Real_Cheddar_Bob said:

I'm always amazed by these posts and how fixated so many can be on money. Who cares what share is what, when it all goes belly up the divorce court will chop up the "assets" anyway. 

Fundamentally, if you want to live with someone, focus on your relationship and if it is meant to be then bonus. 

That’s rather naive; issues around money can absolutely place stresses on a relationship. Life. Isn’t a Disney movie where as soon as you meet “the one” everything just works out perfectly. There is no such thing as “meant to be.”

A_Lert

Share your expenses in approximate proportion to income. Though you may want to exclude the mortgage payments from such sharing since it's exclusively your flat.

clueless_but_curious

This must be a wind up