I'm close to exchange but...

LittleDrum

As the title suggests however, I think I loathe my husband...  everything he does annoys me. I earn twice as much as him so we are getting the bigger "better" house due to my income and I'm not sure if I can deal with it/him anymore.  Lockdown hasn't helped but the house selling/buying has kept me occupied. Perhaps I'm not selling and buying for the right reasons.

I could probably still afford the mortgage in the new place if we were to break up after we move.  But I'll be more comfortable here. I also don't want to upset our chain by pulling out. 

I'm not really sure what I want or why I'm posting this; perhaps it's part of the pre move jitters.

Thrugelmir

Pull out of the transaction. Take a time out. 

niceguyed

I think you know exactly why you're posting this. You also know how this goes down should you decide to go ahead. This situation has more red flags than a communist convention. You need to talk to someone you can trust and open up to sooner rather than later, perhaps more for relationship advice than house buying and selling. 

letsbetfair

Can you have an open conversation about things with your husband? It's hard to talk about this stuff, but it won't be any easier once you've committed to a bigger house.
Hopefully you can sort things out - and if you cancel this purchase but still want a bigger place you can move later on. If you do break up, it sounds like it will be better for you to do it before moving (and it is very likely also better for your husband) 

hazyjo

You obviously felt like this before the pre-move jitters, so please listen to your gut. I've done the same thing and ended up having to undo it all (house, marriage, etc). Was actually much harder than if I'd listened to the warning bells.

I'm usually the first to say it's just nerves btw. This really doesn't sound like that.

Good luck.

pbartlett

Although duplicate posts are discouraged on here, I am sure no one would mind if you posted on the marriage, relationships and family board - it might help.....

AdrianC

Yup - this is above our paygrade here...
You want https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/marriage-relationships-families

Whatever you do, don't exchange until the wobbles are sorted.

FTB_Help

hazyjo said:

You obviously felt like this before the pre-move jitters, so please listen to your gut. I've done the same thing and ended up having to undo it all (house, marriage, etc). Was actually much harder than if I'd listened to the warning bells.

I'm usually the first to say it's just nerves btw. This really doesn't sound like that.

Good luck.

This 👆 is sound advice.

If you do separate, you'll have to start the whole process of moving/ selling all over again.

If its not meant to be, you'll know it deep down.

Never settle for second best, no matter how long you've been together or how many children you have.

Natbag

The underlying issues will still be there, even if you're in a bigger, nicer house. Believe me. Maybe you could learn to live with it, but life is short and I think you'll regret and resent that later. Don't worry about upsetting the chain, you have to do what is right for you. At least take the time out to think, talk it through, but you sound unhappy and like you want to change that. Good luck whatever you decide, I've done it, it's tough, but life does get better.

LittleDrum

Thanks everyone for reading a commenting, I will take a look at the other Forum.

56runner

Personally I would dump the husband and start afresh on my own.