Inheritance, step children and biological daughter

Mojisola

DBxxx said:

My husband put in 90k from his divorce, we purchased a house that was 300k and therefore split the mortgage jointly. We sold that house for a profit £315k and put the 100k deposit into
our current home.

We got a mortgage of 385k which costs £1700 per month, I contribute £1200 per month towards this as I get rental income from my 2nd property.

My husband has a hefty pension which he can get access to
in 10 years or so. I also have a pension but not as good as his. 

So I do realise my husband has paid a lump sum in at the start however I am happy if he wants to
protect that for his children, I think it would be wise in all honesty. My problems occur due to the equity in the 2nd home I am selling. I am not fused about the larger contributions I make on a monthly basis however I am starting to resent this due to my husband advising me to stick all my equity in the marital home.

Why should his lump sum be protected but not the extra you are paying into the mortgage?  If he is only paying £500 a month towards the mortgage but hasn't saved anything for himself or his children, what does his money go on?

I would be thinking about working out how much extra you've paid into the mortgage and, when your house is sold, pay the difference between that and his 90k towards the mortgage to make things equal.

Anything left could be divided between boosting your pension and building up a nest egg for your daughter.

As has been mentioned, if you make the family home tenants in common, you can leave your half to your daughter (while giving your husband a life interest in the property).

If he wants to divide his half between all his children or just the older ones will be down to him.

wannabe_a_saver

OP do you have a good relationship with your step children?  

DBxxx

wannabe_a_saver said:

OP do you have a good relationship with your step children?  

Yes I do :-)

Retireinten

A will isn't about trust, its a set of instructions that explains what should be done with your assets on death because you're not there any more to manage it.   Explain to him that if he were to die first, you'd get the bulk of his assets without a will in place... his 5 children would get an equal share of anything over £250k.  If you were to remarry and die before your new husband without a will, your new husband would inherit the bulk of your (and your current husbands) assets, with his four children getting nothing at all at this stage. Is he comfortable with this scenario? A Will stops things like this happening. 


In your situation I'd seriously consider paying £90k off the mortgage (you could look at your extra mortgage contributions also but there is an argument here that you have benefitted from reduced mortgage payments because of his £90k payment etc etc...  how long have you paid more towards the mortgage and how much is this extra contribution 'worth'? ). 


I'd then invest a chunk (maybe £50k) into a stocks and shares ISA for your daughter (over time obviously to keep within the annual allowances). In 20/25 years time this should be worth a significant sum and as its in her name, will be protected if the worst was to happen to you... and it will also be accessible when she needs it.  Any left over I'd pay into your pension if you don't need cash for anything else.

That way hubby can't claim he's paid in more than you have.  Also, tell him you are making a will and he needs to do the same because you simply can't leave these things to chance. Even if you decide to incorporate an element of trust into the wills by gifting each other your property share on death and then agreeing a split between the children that you both commit to on your own deaths, you have still taken steps to protect your daughter with a healthy ISA that could grow to a significant sum by the time she's an adult.

Not a nice situation but I don't think it's fair that you're expected to throw everything into the pot as an equally contributing partner and accept the risk that the majority of your assets goes to his children if you were to die first!  

Sea_Shell

The problem with severing a joint tenancy and then writing a will to leave your share to your children, with a right to reside for the surviving spouse, can cause it's own problems further down the line.    I'm sure we've all read about them on here...regularly!!

Your daughter could end up owning half the house her dad is living in, which when he passes, could then be jointly owned with his other 4 children (can 5 people co-own a house??).    Hopefully at that point they all agree to sell.     The wills would need to be very specific about what happens to the property, under a few different scenarios.

Or if the other way round, OP would be living in a house, part-owned by her 4 step-children.

Is an inheritance really an inheritance if you can't realise that asset, to enable you to actually benefit from it, at a time of your choosing?!

Emmia

Sea_Shell said:

The problem with severing a joint tenancy and then writing a will to leave your share to your children, with a right to reside for the surviving spouse, can cause it's own problems further down the line.    I'm sure we've all read about them on here...regularly!!

Your daughter could end up owning half the house her dad is living in, which when he passes, could then be jointly owned with his other 4 children (can 5 people co-own a house??).    Hopefully at that point they all agree to sell.     The wills would need to be very specific about what happens to the property, under a few different scenarios.

Or if the other way round, OP would be living in a house, part-owned by her 4 step-children.

Is an inheritance really an inheritance if you can't realise that asset, to enable you to actually benefit from it, at a time of your choosing?!

Or the father would need to buy the other half of the house off his daughter...

A friend's father did this in a similar situation, mum died first leaving a life interest in her half of the property to their daughter - dad a few years later, bought the share off the daughter.

Sea_Shell

Emmia said:

Sea_Shell said:

The problem with severing a joint tenancy and then writing a will to leave your share to your children, with a right to reside for the surviving spouse, can cause it's own problems further down the line.    I'm sure we've all read about them on here...regularly!!

Your daughter could end up owning half the house her dad is living in, which when he passes, could then be jointly owned with his other 4 children (can 5 people co-own a house??).    Hopefully at that point they all agree to sell.     The wills would need to be very specific about what happens to the property, under a few different scenarios.

Or if the other way round, OP would be living in a house, part-owned by her 4 step-children.

Is an inheritance really an inheritance if you can't realise that asset, to enable you to actually benefit from it, at a time of your choosing?!

Or the father would need to buy the other half of the house off his daughter...

A friend's father did this in a similar situation, mum died first leaving a life interest in her half of the property to their daughter - dad a few years later, bought the share off the daughter.

Which is fine if the surviving parent has the means to do so.

Unfortunately on many occasions the person with the right to reside doesn't.

Spendless

swingaloo2 said:

The OP had an inheritance, the OP's husband had a large sum to put into the marital home. Why is everyone so fixated on the op's money being from an inheritance? Does it make it more valuable than the husbands cash input. Perhaps the husbands cash was only avaiable as he has saved hard to buy his first home, or perhaps he too had some money gifted or left to him. 
Perhaps they did not have an equal amount to put into the marital home but over the years to come many things may change. As a married couple I dont inderstand the 'but this bit was mine' and 'this bit was his'. At the end of the day it is now all in a marital pot. Between them they have 5 children, why are they not all entitled to the same percentage as each other. Without the husbands 90k would they have been able to afford the house they now live in?
It's ridiculously complicated and who is to say that at some point this will all be irrelevant as either parent may need to pay for care or perhaps they will downsize in later life and decide to spend, spend, spend. 

I think exactly the same and from info given feel the OP thinks this way too because an inheritance allowed her to get on the property market. That inheritance came from a Grandparent, rather than the usual parent. This either means the Grandparent made a will that way for whatever reason, or the Grandparent's child (OP's parent) died before them meaning the OP inherited instead.   I think having this view point is further muddying   what you've described as  complicated due to being a blended family
.
OP - . There are too many variables for what you wish to do. My Grandmothers both own(ed) their own property. My parents are in their 70s, neither has inherited anything because my Nans are still both alive well into in their 90s. The Nan who will be 97 next month, last week marked 6 years since she went into a nursing home with dementia. Her property was sold to pay for care. Last year her money ran out to the minimum you're allowed to have. As and when she dies she will not be leaving the asset she once thought she would be. My Grandparents could outlive my parents. They could outlive me.  You don't know what the future is going to throw at you. Don't see the money as 'safe-guarded' for your daughter, see it for you and your husband as a couple to enjoy, invest, reduce outgoings  etc. Then see a solicitor about a will that takes into account you have 1 child and your husband has 5, taking into account that your step children may also inherit from their Mum. Separately start a savings account for your daughter and see if your husband wishes to do the same for his children. 

pickledonionspaceraider

swingaloo2 said:

The OP had an inheritance, the OP's husband had a large sum to put into the marital home. Why is everyone so fixated on the op's money being from an inheritance? Does it make it more valuable than the husbands cash input. 

No, not more valuable in monetary terms, but in moral terms.  It is more the intended purpose by the deceased - unless the specifically wrote 'I'd love my life savings to eventually go to unrelated strangers.'

Why anyone would kick up a fuss to get their hands on a dead strangers cash, is beyond me. 

I mean can anyone here say that, they are completely comfortable with the idea of their OWN life savings potentially eventually ending up going to unrelated strangers?

I understand it isn't how the law works, but I do think there should be clauses protecting inheritance money putting it aside from joint assets  - these are just my thoughts though, and I am interested in a debate as I understand and respect there are other opinions than my own

maman

We don't know how OP came to inherit from grandmother but if I imagine similar in my own situation: I have 2 DGDs. If I was wealthy enough or chose to bypass their mothers (my DDs) in my will, I have no way of knowing how they may choose to spend an inheritance in the longer term. Once gifted, it has to be their choice. If, like OP, either of them did eventually marry a divorcee with children then I'd hope they treated those children kindly and didn't make them feel they counted for less than their half sister.