Inheritance, step children and biological daughter

DBxxx

I am a first time mum of a 2 year old and married to my husband who has 4 step children (varying ages 10-19). They live two nights a week with us and the remainder with their biological mum.
We both jointly own a property worth £500k (equity of £140k). I have a second home which is in my name and rented to fund our mortgage in our primary residence (this was my first house which I purchased before I met my husband and is the result of inheritance). I contribute £700 of rental income a month to fund our primary residence. The remainder of the property expenses is split 50/50. I am selling my 2nd home due to the property costing me a lot of money as it needs a lot of maintenance also tenants are annoying me. When I sell it I will have about 150k equity. I am happy to put this money into our current house but said I would like to  set up a will so that our daughter inherits this amount if I die. 

My husband and I have had some very heated arguments recently including last night where I caved in and said I won't set up a will, he made me feel very guilty that I was untrusting and he was offended I felt I needed to split it like this. My husband says I don't trust him and that when we married he used his 90k from the divorce to contribute to our primary residence and I should just trust him to do what is best for our child. I explained that the step children have their own mum who is well off and will leave inheritance. I love my step children very much but find this is causing serious communication issues between my husband and I. 
I am not suspicious of him but want our daughter to have the same opportunity I had as a first time buyer. I inherited£120k from my grandmother which got me on the property ladder! I put a lot of love into that house and improved it with my own savings over the years.

I am feeling so angry right now about this and in the end I said I won't bother with a will.

Help me understand what I should be doing? Maybe I'm not being reasonable?

comeandgo

Your husband has 4 step children or you do?

comeandgo

This marriage is second time for both of us and we have children but non together and at the time of our marriage, 20 years ago, my husband had the greater wealth and I was happy that his wealth was willed to his children.  Now we have been together so long and my pensions and investments have done well we are equal in the asset department and on final death every thing is split equally between the children regardless of their other parents financial position.  Just because a parent seems wealthy now who is to say what the future holds for them.

DBxxx

@comeandgo sorry they are his step children. I have one child aged 2

Newly_retired

I am not sure why non blood relatives should inherit the same as blood relatives. They wouldn’t inherit under intestacy rules.

theoretica

His step children not his biological children?  Did he formally adopt them? If not and he wants them to inherit anything then wills - for both of you - are very important. 

DBxxx

theoretica said:

His step children not his biological children?  Did he formally adopt them? If not and he wants them to inherit anything then wills - for both of you - are very important. 

Again, sorry his biological children. 

theoretica

OK.  So without wills if he dies first and then you die your shared daughter gets everything - probably not what either of you want.  If you die first and then he dies it would be split equally 5 ways.  And if you both die in the same plane crash it gets complicated.  He says 'trust me' but that doesn't work for accidents where there is no time to write a will, and will writing probably isn't the first thing someone recently bereaved will think to do.  Also, who would look after your daughter as a child if you were both in an accident?  How would her childhood be funded?

DBxxx

Thank you for raising these points @theoretica
We need to write a will anyway about childcare in the event of both deaths but how to split it is the key, especially when someone else has put in a lot more than the other.

Sea_Shell

Do you need all the money now?

Is there not a compromise to be had by gifting a portion of the money directly to your daughter now, rather then it being left as an inheritance?

If you plow all the money into your house, how will that help your daughter get into the property ladder?

Wills are a good idea, just in case, but I'm assuming you plan to be around for many years yet!!

You inherited from your Grandmother, not your mother.

[Deleted User]

How is the property owned? Tenants in common or joint tenants?