The Case of the Overwhelming Mortgage

edinburgher

I received the sum total of £0 from my parents when I went to university, they couldn't afford anything with 5 kids, they didn't even talk to me about money beyond "don't get lots of credit card debt" (ignored that one) 😅

It did rankle a little when youngest sibling was featherbedded through uni as their circumstances had changed (10 year age gap). Not that it matters what you do for a living but they are definitely the least "successful" of the group in career terms.

Anyway, no animosity towards my parents and I'm sure your children will be incredibly grateful for what you've done for them 🙂

Edit: returning to work to support a child is mental in my opinion, can't imagine many children would rest easy with that...

AgathaSquirrel

It is interesting, although unknown as yet, the consequences of decisions we make as parents. My parents income meant we weren’t entitled to a grant. They gave us the equivalent of the grant. I was perceived to be ‘wealthy’ but I stayed in the cheapest accommodation and was in fact less well off than those, with full grants, whose families had supplemented them. I had jobs and a loan. I budgeted and learned to manage my money.

The money we have saved, plus loan, is the equivalent of the full loan. This is the minimum parental contribution as advised by Martin Lewis. We have added an extra £100 a month to this. It is a lot of money, but also not a lot of money. Hence my frequent wobbles on the topic.

Eldest is sensible. She finished her local job this week and is planning to look for another when she moves (on Friday). She will be fine. So far, she’s been happy to share her finances with me so we can discuss together what a reasonable budget looks like.

Youngest is different altogether. Loves to socialize, loves to spend. She starts her Saturday job this weekend. Her sister has been a good influence in that respect and saved from the start. Youngest says she will also save… Fingers crossed, although I suspect there will be many budgeting discussions in our future.

AgathaSquirrel

Unexpected partial child benefit payment for eldest this morning. Thought we would be down to one payment today so that’s a nice bonus.

We have a couple of Klarna payments due to end soon. They come off the joint account but were set up by Mr A so I’ll need to check details with him. I pretty much never do that but was in a period of trying to function while dealing with bereavement, parent with cancer and Christmas, so made decisions I wouldn’t normally make for ease. Payments are for mobile phones. Will be glad to see them gone.

edinburgher

Congrats on the unexpected cash, it must feel like the ending of an era to be down to one payment.

Re. Klarna payments ending, we occasionally use 3/6-part payments, usually as an interest-free loan when electronics die unexpectedly. I almost always regret it and am glad to see the back of them when they toddle off.

It all helps 😊

beanielou

Good news on Klarna.

AgathaSquirrel

Dropped eldest off to uni yesterday. She met up with school friends before we left which was comforting to see. I miss her already 😢

SandyShores

Sending hugs, I remember when I dropped mine off the first time. That Abba song called Slipping Through My Fingers (Meryl Streep) still makes me well up. Really good that she has school friends to meet up with xx

AgathaSquirrel

Thank you. I currently feel overwhelming grief which is absurd. She isn’t that far away and I feel very strongly she is doing the right thing by moving away. I just hadn’t prepared myself for how I was going to feel. I’m sure we will all settle into a new rhythm soon enough.

beanielou

I remember it. It was dire. I cried. A lot.

AgathaSquirrel

It’s good to hear I’m not the only one. They should run parenting classes, much like antenatal, to prepare parents for this stage. I have a headache from all the crying 😭